Eien
by Kimmimaru
Summary: "Is it because I'm useless? Is it because I am a failure?" When Cloud meets Sephiroth at the SOLDIER training barracks for the first time he is overwhelmed, why does the man show such an interest in him?
1. Chapter 1

Eien

(Eternity)

_Why is living so hard? _

_Is it because I'm useless?_

_Is it because I am a failure?_

_It hurts._

_Does everyone know that I failed?_

_It hurts! _

_I want it to end!_

_I don't want to be a failure anymore._

_In the end..._

_In the end I am his for Eternity._

Crowds of people filling the hall way, I try and squeeze my way to the front so I can get a better look at what has everyone's attention. This is the one advantage to being small! I can squeeze between my fellows and get to the front of crowds. I reach the front and suddenly hear a snicker from beside me, as I step forward someone trips me. I fall. I end up sprawled on my face on the tiled floor feeling my face grow hot as everyone begins to laugh. Then silence. I open my eyes after having them squeezed shut and find myself staring at a pair of heavy black boots, my eyes travel upward to see a long leather coat and bare beautifully muscled chest. My heart stops. My humiliation is at its height. I know my face must be bright red because it feels like it's on fire. Oh god! Why did he have to see me this way? Why did it have to HIM of all people! I cringe slightly and push myself up onto all fours too afraid to look into his face. Those amazing blue/green eyes that seem to steal the breath from you. I can't look! I'm so embarrassed! I lower my head. "I...I...I'm sorry! I'm sorry sir!" My voice wavers slightly and I open my eyes to see a black gloved hand reaching out. I stare at it. Is this real? My own automatically takes his hand and I am dragged to my feet, I stare up into his face unwillingly as his gloved hand catches my jaw forcing me to meet his eyes. Long, waist length silver hair surrounds a pale face. A tiny smile lifts the corners of his lips. I think I'm gaping. I can't help it. This man is everything I want to be. This man is why I wanted to join SOLDIER in the first place.

"You seem alright." He says in a deep voice.

"Oy! You! Cadet! Get out of his way!"

I feel someone grab my arm and pull me away; I'm too stunned to react. He spoke to me! His presence is inhuman! The grip tightens on my arm so it's painful. I can't look away from those eyes. Sephiroth the hero. The man everyone wants to be! I watch as he glares at the man holding my arm then turns his eyes back to me. "You, boy. What's your name?"

I open my mouth. Why can't I talk? Why am I so tongue tied? Finally I manage to say my name. "Cloud, sir. Cloud Strife." I suddenly remember to salute and do so turning my eyes away from him to stare into the wall opposite. This means some kind of disciplinary action...for falling at the feet of Sephiroth and speaking to him so casually! They're never going to forgive something like this.

"How old are you?"

I swallow trying to hide my nerves. "Six...sixteen...sir!"

I hear him chuckle, a sound that sends uncontrollable shivers through my body. Everyone is silent watching this exchange with wide, jealous eyes. I really will be in trouble.

"You are very interesting boy...I'll remember you." I feel his coat brush past me as he walks away. After he passes on I gasp and grab the wall for support. Why did I act so stupidly? I put my hand to my face and groan. He spoke to me! My hero spoke to me! He said that he would remember me! I feel almost giddy in my happiness.

"Strife!"

I turn to see my junior officer glaring at me, he had been the one to grab me. "Yes sir." I say with a salute, everyone slowly begins to drift away with mutters and angry glances aimed my way. I inwardly sigh; the next few weeks will be harder than normal.

"What the hell was that?"

"Sir?"

"You! What were you doing falling flat on your face in front of the general? Are you insane? Do you know what this is going to do to our squad?"

I say nothing. He was being rhetorical anyway.

"You will be punished for your insubordination! Thirty laps around the base at sunset! No dinner! Meet me outside barracks nine at 1900 hours! Understand?"

"Understood, sir!"

"Good, dismissed!"

I turn away and walk off down the corridor. As I walk I hear mutters as others talk about my humiliation behind their hands. I lower my head. Suddenly a hand grabs me and throws me into the wall pinning me so my feet hover above the floor. I look down into one of my fellow trainees eyes. He smiles nastily. "Oy, lookie what we got here! It's Cloud, the boy who thinks he's special just coz he got helped up by the general!"

I stare at him. What can I say? I know he's going to beat me up. It happens more often each week. Pointless fighting back, I'll just be disciplined again. A recruit cannot complain! One of the first rules we learn. A fist connects with my face making me cry out, it happened too quickly! I wasn't expecting it. I fall to my knees as the other boy releases me, a boot connects with my ribs making me double over until he grabs a handful of my hair and lifts my face up to his. "Don't get cocky, Strife! Just because Sephiroth paid you special attention! You are still nothing more than a failure! You'll never amount to anything!"

I groan slightly squeezing my eyes shut against the throbbing pain. My head is slammed into the floor making my vision waver. Then I'm pushed back into the wall. Just as the boy raises his fist again there's a shout.

"Oy! You, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I open my eyes to see someone step up behind my tormentor and throw him off. I fall sideways clutching my side. Someone reaches out to me and look up into a kind, smiling face. "Hey, you ok?"

I nod and pull myself to my feet ignoring the proffered hand. I look at my helper. Black hair surrounds a happy face with a big grin, his ear's are pierced and his uniform, his uniform tells me he's a second class SOLDIER. I try to raise my hand in salute but it hurts.

"Don't worry about that! I'm your superior but to be honest rank doesn't mean all that much to me." He laughs and puts his hand behind his head. "What's your name kid?"

"Cloud...Cloud Strife sir."

"Hmmm? Interesting name. I'm Zack, nice to meet ya!" He sticks out his hand and I shake it. "Come with me and we'll get you fixed up in no time!"

I follow with a nod. He takes me to the barracks and sits me on his bed, he kneels down and digs underneath it brining out a box with a red cross on it. He opens it revealing bandages, plasters and other medication. "Here, let me take a look..."

I wince as his hands inspect the bruises on my face. "Come on! Don't be a baby Cloud. They're not too bad...you got off lightly." He covered a cut with a plaster and then stood. "Take your top off."

I look up at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'm not a pervert! Just let me take a look at your ribs...you may've cracked some."

"Oh...ok." I lift my top over my head and look down as Zack knelt again inspecting the faint bruise. "AH!" I wince and move away.

"Get a grip!" he muttered with a frown. "Yup, you've cracked a rib. That guy must've kicked you pretty hard. What was that all about anyway?"

I sigh and hang my head. "They do it all the time." I mutter. "It's nothing...I'm already used to it."

"Wow...why don't you fight back?"

"Because I'd just be disciplined. It's not worth the hassle..." _Also...I'm too weak._ I keep my thoughts to myself.

Zack shook his head and sat down beside me. "You know...I know you fell over in front of Sephiroth."

I stared at the floor. My face heating up at the mere memory of it. "I...was tripped."

Zack smiled. "Well, I'm sure he didn't mind. Having a pretty thing like you fall at his feet...hey, I'm sure he's used to it."

I put a hand over my face. "Shut up." I mutter.

I hear him chuckle. "You need to lighten up a bit. I mean, so what you made a bit of a fool of yourself? Everyone'll forget in a few days, stop worrying yourself over it."

I feel his hand in my hair as he ruffles it as if I was a child. I push him away angrily. "I'm fine now...Thank you for helping me back there." I stand and grab my shirt slipping it over my head. As I go to leave I feel Zack's hand on my arm.

"Hey, you owe me for this...kay? How about we be friends?"

"Friends?" I turned to see him grinning. I had no friends...at least not at the academy.

"Yeh, why not? You look kinda lonely."

I look away. "Yeh...alright." I mutter.

"Cool! You had dinner yet? I could go for some food about now..."

I shake my head, "I've gotta run laps...sorry."

"Oh...ok. Well, how about tomorrow?"

"Sure..." I feel a small shy smile on my face. I'm not very good with people...I stutter and make a fool of myself most of the time so I tend to stay away from them. But Zack was different...he was kind.

"Meet you in the canteen then...1600?"

I nod my smile widening. Suddenly his face is inches from mine I take a step back and nearly fall over again but his hand grabs my wrist. "Wow...you should smile more often kid. You're face looks better with a smile."

I stare at him. He was really strange. I hear a bell go and he releases me. "Oh...It's time for dinner...you had better run along. Your junior officer might give you more laps if you're late."

I nod quickly and turn to the doors, after a brief pause I turn back. "Thanks...Zack." I say and walk away.

Standing out in the chill evening air I hold back my shivers, I'll warm up soon when I start running. My officer walks back and forth before me giving a long winded lecture that I'm only half listening to. I can see the other cadets sat on benches watching my punishment and laughing. Bastards. Don't they have anything better to do? Suddenly the man before me shouts, I stand upright and stare ahead of myself with my arms beside me.

"Thirty laps around the whole barracks. Go!"

I run, starting off at a slow pace ignoring the jeers from the spectators. The distance was large and I didn't want to expend energy needlessly. I keep my breathing as steady as I can as I turn a corner. Slowly I count down the laps, my limbs are burning by now, my stomach grumbles. I feel my energy levels deplete rapidly and before I know it I'm gasping for air. I stumble slightly and wince at the stitch in my side. I have to keep going. Only fifteen more to go. Keep running. Keep going. Don't let them know how weak you are. One leg in front of the other. Concentrate on your breathing. Only ten more. Five more...I fall to my knees. I can't go on. I haven't eaten all evening. Gasping desperately I try to stand but only fall sideways into the building next to me. I grab my side. It hurts so much. I can't do it! My other hand goes to my face and I begin to sob. I can't help it...this weakness...I'm useless. I'm a failure. I slide to the floor still clutching my side and crying like a girl. Why do I put myself through this? Why did I sign up?

Tifa.

I stifle my crying. I made a promise. I would become a first class soldier for her sake...i needed to become strong so I could protect her. I wipe my face and hear footsteps. I try to climb to my feet but I just can't. I can barely move. So I fall back and lie still gasping desperately. A shadow falls across me. I look up into a pair of glowing eyes. If I had the energy I would have been on my feet and saluting but I can't move. My body hurts. My heart hurts. My soul hurts.

Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure.

"Well, well...if it isn't Cloud Strife." Sephiroth folds his arms across his chest and smiles slightly. "Why is it you are always on the floor when we meet?"

I can't reply.

"No matter...you look as if you could use some help." He crouches and lifts me to my feet, I collapse against him without meaning to. He holds me up. I feel his heart beat and try to pull away suddenly terrified. "What's all this for? I'm only helping you...I will tell your officer that you've had enough. My orders are absolute."

I nod with a small sigh. "Th...Thank...you sir." I mutter.

He helps me out to the training yard where my officer is staring down at a stop watch with a frown. The wind blows and I shiver slightly, the sweat from my run drying and taking the heat with it. Sephiroth walks over to the man who looks up with startled eyes before saluting. "This boy has been injured and you are making him run?"

"Sir, he was being punished for insubordination, sir!"

"Ridiculous. You call tripping over someone's feet insubordination? You're the one who should be punished." I lean heavily against Sephiroth trying not to throw up, too much exercise and not enough to eat. "You'll let the boy off now, he has had enough punishment. Now, go back to your duties."

"Sir, yes sir!" He saluted again and stalked off. 

"Where is your barracks?" Sephiroth asks as he helps me sit on a bench. My head falls back and my hand tightens on my side.

"...twenty..." I whisper after a moment.

"Let's get someone to take you back." He stands and waves someone over. "Take him to barracks twenty...and get him some medical help." He orders.

I can't help but stare. Why was he helping me? I was just some useless cadet with no connections from a poor country family. Why was General Sephiroth helping me? He is so tall and seems so distant, my mind shrinks from him when I think of all that he's achieved. I worship him! He's so strong! So...impressive. His strength is unrivalled. His sword Murasame can only be wielded by him. He is god like. Intense. So very intense. I can't breathe when he's this close. Sephiroth...the one and only. First class SOLDIER; the best of the best. I will never reach him! How can I ever think I'd be good enough to stand with him? Arrogance. I am just...

A...Failure


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hey! Chapter two already! I'm so good! I fucking love Final Fantasy 7! It has to be my all time fave game! However...I haven't been able to finish it and I've been playing it over and over since it came out! Ah, I just don't have the heart to beat Sephiroth! I want him to win each time! He is the best bad guy ever created! My one winged angel! Anyway...enough of my rants...on with the story! (Oh! I must note that in the last chapter a made a boo boo! I misnamed Sephiroth's sword...i am so terribly sorry! It's Masamune! Sry guys.) Enjoy and please review...i love to know what you think!

Chapter 2

_'Tifa was in a coma for seven days. We all thought she wouldn't make it. If only I could've saved her... I was so angry... Angry at myself for my weakness. Ever since then, I felt Tifa blamed me... I got out of control... I'd get into fights not even caring who it was. That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me...'_

My eyes opened slowly. I realised I was lying in bed back in my barracks. I frowned slightly not quite sure how I had got there. I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the low ceiling of my dorm. My body is stiff and sore but I can move. I sit up slowly running a hand through my spiky hair and searching the dorm for any sign of how I had managed to get from the training grounds to here. There is a bottle of pain killers on the bedside table and a glass of water. I remember having to run with cracked ribs and then collapsing. I remember Sephiroth being there...My cheeks go red. Twice now he has seen me lying on the floor. _Well cloud, he'll really remember you now._ I sigh and take some of the pain killers with the water. My room is tiny and the desk littered with letters from home, I try to write back but I have nothing to say. Not even my mother receives letters from me. They will probably forget all about me anyway. No one really took much notice. I slump back into bed listening to the sounds outside my door. Then I notice a note, someone had tucked it under the door. I slip off the bed and pick it up.

_Yo! You missed dinner yesterday! I was worried, man. Then I had words with some guy's and they said you were suffering from severe exhaustion and those cracked ribs were playing up, I'm sorry to hear that. Hey, I'll be round later...after this mission. Then I'll bring some food. See ya._

_Zack._

_P.s. You ever been out of this place? Maybe when we next get leave we can take a tour of the city?_

I smile and put the note to the side. So, he really had meant it when he said he wanted to be friends. I pick up a pen and sit at my desk. Should I write to Tifa? Maybe she was worrying? I sigh and start to write a letter.

When I had finished the dinner bell rang. I put the pen down just as my door burst open, startled I spin around to see Zack stood there smiling broadly. "Hey there, you hungry?" he holds up a box. "It's not much...but I managed to sneak into the kitchens and grab some stuff before everyone else got there...did you get my note?"

I nod holding it out. His eyes fall from his own note to the one I had just finished writing. "Hehe...what's this? A love letter?"

I grab it and hide it behind my back. "That is none of your business!" He grins and puts the food down before reaching his arms behind me and grabbing my wrists. I struggle and we fall back onto my bed. "Ah! Get off! I said I don't want you to read it! Please...Zack!"

"Wait! I'm not going to take the piss! I just wanna see it..."

I pause and gasp for breath looking up into his face. He grabs the note from my loosened fingers and drags it away from me turning his back and holding it out of reach. "Zack...please...just let me have it back! I'm probably not going to send it anyway..."

"Then, it doesn't matter if I read it." He opened it and I made one last grab before he pushed me back onto the bed. He started to read it out loud. "Dear Tifa, I know it's been a long time since I last wrote but I have been very busy. I got your last letter and I'm glad to hear that everyone's alright. I have been training very hard these past few months so that I will be able to keep our promise. That night has been on my mind for a while now..." he paused and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "You need some lessons in romance. Your language is rubbish...hey, you want me to write it for you?"

I snatch it from his hands. "No. Definitely not...and anyway..." I look down at the crumpled paper. "It doesn't matter. I'm not going to send it..." I sigh heavily. "I refuse to contact them...not until I succeed."

Zack sits beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Hmmmm...well, you're not going to succeed if you're so sad all the time! Cheer up and eat."

After we had eaten we lie on my bed. Zack has his hands behind his head as he looks up at the ceiling and I sit propped up in the corner against the wall. I notice his wrist has been bandaged and a plaster covers one of cheeks. "Hey...what happened?" I ask indicating his wrist.

"What..? This? It's nothing really...just got into a bad fight with some monsters. They surprised our team while returning from a mission in Kalm...They weren't even that strong! Bloody things crept up on us...we lost a few men." I see the strange look in his eyes and decide it's probably best not to mention it again. I have not been on any dangerous missions yet but I will soon, there have been rumours of monsters appearing more and more often in the more populated areas. "You ever seen one?"

I look up at him again, "Seen what?"

"A battle...a real one, not the simulated one's you get here."

I shake my head. "Not yet...there hasn't been anything major like that yet. Not enough for me to be called anyway." I lift my leg up under my chin and wrap my arm around it.

"Well...you may soon have your chance. There are monsters attacking villages as far as Rocket town and mount Nibel."

I frown slightly at the mention of Mount Nibel. It's a bit too close to home for my liking.

Suddenly he sits up. "I got my exam next week..." he mutters running a hand through his long hair.

"Exam...?"

"Yeh, I'm gunna be first class!" I see the grin on his face.

"Wow! Do you reckon you can do it? I mean...I've heard it's really hard!"

"I know I can pass..." he muttered. "The exam won't be a problem."

"I...I wish I could have that kind of confidence." I mutter.

"Why? If you have confidence in yourself then nothing is impossible!"

I frown down at my knees. "I'm not...very good. Everything I do...it's always wrong. I can't be like you..." I look away and lean into the wall. "I'm pathetic."

Zack sat up suddenly and I saw the flash of anger in his eyes. His fist hits the wall by my head and I look up. "Cloud! What is with this attitude? Get a grip man! You have no self confidence! Let me ask you a question...why did you join SOLDIER in the first place?"

I look away, I am ashamed of the story but...i can't help but tell him. "Once...a long time ago, I let my friend get badly hurt. I...was too weak to stop it...I was too weak to prevent her hurting herself...I was devastated. ...I tried to stop her from falling but I was too weak...It was an old bridge, when we were playing in the mountains it broke...and she fell, I caught her hand but couldn't hold on...i fell with her but only came away with scraped knees...she was in a coma for day's and everyone blamed me. All I wanted was to be noticed. I thought if I got stronger, I could get someone to notice..." I pushed my hands into my hair and hid my face. "Always too weak! Why? I don't understand why!"

Zack's eyes widened slightly. "How did you manage to only come away with scraped knees from a fall that put the girl into hospital?" He muttered. I frowned at him.

"That's...not important! What is...is that I couldn't protect her! She was hurt...because of me. So...I made her a promise...that I would come to her rescue if she ever needed me." I sighed and leaned my head back.

"You know...I think you're just doing yourself down. You need to let up a bit, all this stress isn't good for you."

I feel his hand in my hair and I lean into it slightly. "I can't let up on myself. It's my responsibility to make sure that I can protect her...Plus...i made a promise." I close my eyes remembering the stars. The chill in the air and her soft hand covering mine...

"_Hey, why don't we make a promise? Umm, if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... You come save me, all right?" _

"_What?"_

"_Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once." _

"_What?"_

"_Come on! Promise me!"_

"_All right... I promise."_

I smile at the memory. I realise vaguely that my head is resting on Zack's shoulder. "Well...it sounds as if you really got it bad for this girl." He says.

I sit up suddenly whacking my head against the wall. "Ow! Why do you say that?"

"I can tell just by looking at your face." He grins. "I know...I've got a girl..." His eyes stare off into the distance for a moment. "She's a flower seller..."

"Flowers...in Midgar?" I reply with a frown.

"Yeh, she grows 'em herself. I thought it was strange too but when you meet her you'll understand."

"Hmmm? So you love her?"

He pauses looking sidelong at me. "Maybe...I've never thought about it."

"Love..." I whisper. "Strange word...I wander what it means...i mean, I know the dictionary meaning but...Is this what it feels like?" I don't realise I'm speaking aloud until Zack looks at me strangely.

"You feel like someone's set fire to your veins." He said suddenly. "When you touch it's as if you've been struck by lightning. When you see the person you love you get butterflies and the thrill is better than anything on the planet!"

I gaze at him. I think back to what it felt like to have Tifa touch my arm and swallow slightly...was I in love? I had no idea. I had never thought about it before. We were friends...could there be more to it? Could she love me, perhaps?

Zack stretched suddenly. "Man...I'm worn out..." He yawned. "I should get some rest. So should you...you need to heal those wounds."

I smile. "They don't hurt anymore."

He frowned. "They can't have just gone away! Lemme have a look!"

I lift my shirt over my head and indicate my once broken ribs. "See...nothing there. I'm just a bit stiff is all."

His frown deepened. "How?"

"Well...i dunno. I've always been a fast healer."

"Idiot. No one heals that fast." He put a finger to his lips thoughtfully. "Who brought you back to your room?"

I shake my head. "No idea. I last remember Sephiroth asking someone to help me when I collapsed...What is it?"

His eyes had sharpened slightly and he ran a hand through his hair. "Could it have been Sephiroth? I mean...that seems a bit out of character for him though...Why would he do something like that?"

"My thoughts exactly." I mutter. "I'm only a cadet so why would he take an interest in me? I mean...he's a god!"

"Wouldn't go that far." Zack said softly. "He's good...everyone knows that but everything has a weakness. No...maybe he got a healer to help you when you were unconscious?"

"That sounds more likely." I shudder as I remember his heartbeat. It had been so strong...the thud, thud, thud pounded in my head a moment until I shook it to clear it. "He's certainly magnetic." I mutter under my breath.

"Well, I'm wiped. I'll see you around, kid!" Zack turned and opened his door. "Train hard, Cloud...you have a promise to keep." He grinned over his shoulder and left me alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you to the person who reviewed! This is the next chapter! I hope it is to your liking. I have taken it upon myself to change the Crisis Core story slightly...so if it doesn't fit that's why. Anyways...read and enjoy! I look forward to your comments as usual. The more reviews the happier I'll be and the quicker I'll get the story out! XD

Chapter 3.

_There was one SOLDIER named Sephiroth, who was better than the rest. But when he found out about the terrible experiments that made him, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything. Shinra, and the people against them. Sephiroth, who hated the planet so much that he wanted to make it go away._

The next week I spent training. It was hard work and by the end of it I was battered and bruised. I trudged heavily through the narrow corridors after a particularly intense episode and had to keep stopping and leaning against the wall, I was breathing heavily. I tipped my head back and closed my eyes.

"Ah, we meet again. It is good to see you stood up for a change, boy."

I gasp and my eyes spring open. Sephiroth is stood before me wearing his small smile. I begin to stutter incoherently, his hand descended on my shoulder and I snap my mouth shut. Every time. Every time I make an utter fool of myself, I feel my face heat up and I lower my head in an attempt to hide it. His fingers slide under my chin and lift my face up so he can look into my eyes. I want to look away. I can't keep eye contact for long. I bite my lower lip slightly.

"It seems you are injured again...having a hard time?"

I nod quickly.

His smile widens slightly. "I hear that you struggle with the training..."

Oh god no. He knew I was pathetic. I felt tears sting my eyes and determinedly wipe them away. I refuse to cry in front him!

"It gets easier with time...or so I am told...I never had a problem with it. But, I am sure you will make an excellent SOLDIER. I know talent when I see it. You have determination, and that is a good starting point."

I stare at him unable to reply. His mere presence takes my breath away; I could almost smell the power coming off of him in waves...no human could posses this kind of aura...surely?

"Well now, it appears you have trouble speaking..." he chuckled slightly. "No need to be shy around me, Cloud."

He said my name. I feel my legs give way slightly and I slip down the wall at my back. He remembers my name! Someone remembers me! And it's Sephiroth of all people! I am captured once again by his eyes. The pupils seem almost to be slit from top to bottom like a cat's...If I look to long I might drown. I can't even breathe properly. My hands clench into fists at my side. That heartbeat again. It's too loud drowning out any other noise. I need to get away now. If I stay near him like this I'll die. I get my feet under me and push myself up straight, taking a slow calming breath I look up into his eyes again. "I'm sorry sir...my training today was really intense and I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. I apologise for my rudeness." I lower my head slightly only to have my jaw captured once again in a leather clad hand. He makes me meet his eyes and I see him smile as I begin to tremble.

"No need to apologise. I may be first class but that does not mean I am unapproachable."

"No...sir..." I mutter. I feel as if I am going to be torn out of my body at any moment. I feel his free hand slide around my back as I fall backwards. I can't stay conscious for much longer. His low voice follows me down into the darkness.

"_Cloud...It's time for you to sleep..."_

The darkness is too deep, too thick. I'm blind. I can't move. What is this scent...Vaguely familiar like the outdoors and...blood. There is something heavy stopping my movement. What is happening? Soft and warm...blankets? Where am i?

"Cloud?"

"Nnng..."

Someone shaking me. I open my eyes slowly. "Za...Zack?" I mutter as my friends face comes into focus. I lift my arm and rub my eyes. "Nnn...Why do I feel as if I have been hit by a truck...?"

"You collapsed..." Zack said softly. I reopen my eyes and look him over. His uniform had changed!

"First...class..." I mutter still feeling sleepy.

I see his smile light up his whole face. "Yeh...You like? The uniform suits me doesn't it!"

I giggle softly. "What happened to me?" I try and sit up but Zack pushes me gently back to the bed. I watch his eyes glance quickly to the side, I turn my head following his glance. In a chair beside the bed is Sephiroth. He's sat with his leg crossing the other and his hand resting on the knee. I swallow the lump in my throat as his eyes meet mine.

"Sephiroth found you collapsed in the hallway after training."

I feel myself frown. That feels wrong some how...

"You were unconscious, so I brought you to the infirmary. It seems you were just suffering from exhaustion." Sephiroth said quietly. I feel my body shudder at the sound of his voice.

"Uh...Um...Thank you sir...for helping me." I say softly. He stands and leans over me looking carefully into my face. I'm going to go insane. His eyes, his voice...his everything holds me in thrall. I suddenly have an almost uncontrollable urge to touch his hair as it falls onto the bed, but I restrain myself. That would be highly inappropriate.

"You really must get more rest, boy. If you don't you could end up hurting yourself...or someone else." He straightens and turns his attention to Zack. "So, congratulations on becoming first class. I am expecting interesting things form you...live up to my expectations."

Zack gave a half hearted salute with a grin on his face. "Sure thing, captain."

I see Sephiroth's small smile as he turns away. "Oh yes, and Cloud?"

I shiver again as his voice touches my ears. "Yes sir?"

"I want you up and well by tomorrow evening, you are coming on an assignment."

I sit bolt upright. "What?"

"You heard me boy." He opened the door and left me alone with Zack.

"So, you need to get your head sorted if you're going to be any help on this mission."

I sigh and cover my eyes with my arm as I slump back into the pillows. "I really don't think I'll be of any use...but I'll try. I have to...he asked me to..."

"Cloud...why haven't you been sleeping?"

I move my arm so I can look up at him. "I...just haven't been able to. Every time I close my eyes...that person is there...like a ghost that's haunting me. There's strange noises...in my head..." I sigh and shake my head. "It doesn't matter. Really, I'll be alright."

I feel Zack's hand in my hair as he runs his fingers through it flattening the spikes. "I am gunna worry...I mean...your pale, your losing weight...the bruises on your body seem to be increasing!"

"Everyone gets bruised when they train. It's a matter of fact."

"Well...yeh, people get bruised during training but..."

"Just leave it...please Zack. I'm tired." I roll over and pull the covers over my head.

"Fine...look, I'll come by in the morning."

I hear the door close and sigh heavily. Would he be in my dreams tonight? Would his heart beat echo through my body? Would I be able to wake up and not have to feel as if I had been doused in hot water? Would I ever be able to look at him without feeling my heart beat increase and feel like I'm going to go mad if I look into his eyes? Those eyes that suck me in and make me drown. Those eyes that carry the heavy glow of Mako.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Ah! Clouds first mission! The strands of fate begin to intertwine! Hope you enjoy this one! Quite a long chapter! Thank you for all your reviews! XD

Chapter 4

That morning I awoke to find Zack staring down at me. He grinned.

"Hey, how ya doing now?"

"I feel...fine." I mutter. It's not a lie, I feel refreshed. No nightmares. No weird noises. I smile and sit up.

"Good, good! Well, you need to eat. Come with me for break..." He stops as a bell chimes in the hallway and a metallic voice follows.

_Zack Fair...Please report to Laboratory fourteen! Repeat: Zack Fair to Laboratory fourteen! That is all._

I frown slightly. "Why do they want you in the labs?"

I see a slight change in his face, almost a wince. My concern deepens. "They...They want me to...get some tests done." He whispers staring off into space a moment. Then he smiles. "No worries. It'll be fine I'm sure. Hey, you eat properly now and I'll meet you back at your dorm when they're done with me."

"Ok...Well, take care. Don't let them do anything to bad...I've heard rumours about those places..."

"So has every cadet. Cloud, they're just scare tactics...They try and freak out the newbie's. I'll see ya later, kid."

"Oh...ok." I watch him walk away. What exactly did they do in those labs? Then I shake my head and get out of bed slipping into my blue uniform. I walk out of the infirmary and make my way back to the canteen slowly, lost in thought. I pass a window and pause staring out at the training yard. The rain is coming down hard, and I see people training in the sloppy mud. I was slightly glad that I had a mission later and I didn't have to train in this weather. Something seemed fascinating about the way the rain fell on the glass and dribbled down making patterns. I watched it for a while lost in my own thoughts. The rain makes me sad. I don't know why...I always get a feeling of loss. When it rains it feels like the sky is crying. I press my finger tips to the glass and watch the window steam slightly as it reacted to the heat. I feel gloom seep into my heart and sigh. I really should go to the canteen and eat something, but all I want to do is stay where I am and watch the rain. Suddenly lightning sears the sky and I stare up and watch the roiling clouds. I feel a strange kind of excitement. I love lightening, if only it could storm without the rain. I shiver slightly still lost in the sky. I wish I could fly, just sprout wings and leave. I laugh softly, why was I having ridiculous thoughts? Get a grip Cloud! I sigh again and decide it's about time I had breakfast.

After I had eaten, a difficult thing when all my fellow cadets were whispering behind my back and giggling, I leave the canteen. My feet take me the long way back to my dorm.

I realise that I'm passing the labs. I look up and see a long corridor, empty of people. An eerie silence meets my ears and I tense slightly. I walk down the corridor passing the small rooms. Suddenly a man steps out from one of the doors closing it softly behind him, but not before I catch a glimpse of a body sprawled on a table. I stop abruptly. The man turns to me. He has long black hair tied back into a pony tail and his small glasses cover mean looking eyes. He walks with a slight stoop. His eyes meet mine.

"What is a cadet doing here?"

"I...I was just returning to the barracks...um...i took a short cut..." I lied.

"Hmf, well...don't go exploring. There are dangerous things here, things little children would do well to avoid." He nudged his glasses back onto his nose.

"Um...I'm sorry for being so...um...rude...but could you tell me if you've seen a man called...Zack? Zack Fair...? He's my friend and I was...um...looking for him." Why was this man so scary? He was obviously a scientist, the white lab coat was a big give away. I glance down at the badge on his chest. Prof. Hojo. Oh shit. I'm talking to the head research scientist. I groan inwardly. This man was a well known nut case! People said they heard screams from his lab at night and weird noises.

I watch his face fall into a frown. "Zack Fair? Yes, I sent for him earlier. He is in no fit state to talk at the moment, I'll tell him you came to see him...What is your name?"

"Cloud Strife, sir." I mutter quietly.

His eyes look me over carefully as if he is seeing me for the first time. "Your name has been whispered in the corridors of late young man. You're the boy who fell over before Sephiroth aren't you?"

I look away with a small sigh. This is just going to get worse and worse. Everyone knows! I'm such an idiot! "I'm sorry to have bothered you, sir. I'll be on my way..." A horrendous scream echoes down the corridor. I can feel my face drain of all colour. I gasp slightly. What was happening here? Why was this place feared? Even Zack had seemed reluctant to go...Was he alright?

"Yes, yes...you had better leave now. There are things a child would not want to see here."

I nod my head and salute weakly before turning around and running in the opposite direction. I can feel the creepy scientist's eyes on me. His words echo in my head. Was Zack alright? What had they done to him?

Once back in my dorm I slam the door shut and lean against it panting from having run quite a way. I would never go back that way again! That was just too weird. I sigh and fall back on my bed, Zack said he would meet me here. So I wait. Eventually, without realising it I fall asleep.

_Cloud! Wake up!_

_Who is it?_

_Wake up!_

I opened my eyes slowly and yawned. Slowly I sat up and saw Zack standing by the bed with his back to me. "Mmmm, hello." I mutter rubbing my eyes. "You alright?"

"Yeh..." Zack muttered without turning to me. I frown.

"Hey...You're not alright are you?" I stand and reach for him. He turns around and stares at the floor with a frown. "Zack...what...?" I see his eyes and step back. "Is that why the lab wanted you?" I ask suddenly.

"Yeh...I was expecting it. When I first passed the exams...but I never expected it to hurt so goddamned much! Feels like I've gone ten rounds with a Vlakorados without a weapon!" He collapsed onto my bed and hung his head. "I survived though..." He said quietly. "I lived...many people never do. When they pump you full of Mako it messes with your head as well as your body...this is what it means to be first class. I've made it."

"Will you be alright...I mean for our mission?"

He looked at me with those bright eyes again. The glow reminding me of Sephiroth. I hide a shudder and wrap my arms around me. "Yeh, I'll recover on the ride over. Oh...yeh, Professor Hojo said you had been looking for me?"

"Yeh...I kinda had a run in with him on my way back here...He's scary."

Zack laughed. "I know what you mean! He's not exactly the most gentle guy in the world! But it's nice to know you were worried about me!" He ruffled my hair again and I pushed his hand away irritably.

We sat talking and laughing until we heard the Intercom.

_This is an urgent announcement! Would Zack Fair and Cloud Strife please report to briefing room A! REPEAT: Would Zack Fair and Cloud Strife please report to briefing room A. Thank you._

I look up feeling a jolt of nervous excitement, Zack grins at me and stands. "Shall we go then? If we're late they'll kick both our asses."

I smile and stand up. "Yeh...this is it! My first mission!" I feel a smile plaster its self across my face.

A little later we stood outside the room, Zack knocked and opened the door. I followed him nervously. The room was long with a table in the centre. Several people looked up as we entered. I sat down beside Zack and clenched my hands nervously. Sephiroth, who was sat opposite smiled at me I returned the smile as best I could. The other people in the room ignored me. A man sat in a darkened corner of the room slowly stood, my eyes scanned his smart suit. Turks. This mission was going to be dangerous. The man opened a file that sat on the table before him and cleared his throat, he had long jet black hair tied back in a pony tail.

"Well then, shall we begin?" He asked. His voice was soft but had a commanding presence. "This is an A rank mission, I want to warn you all that some of you will not return alive. Now, my Turks have been scouting the Corel area. There have been some problems with the reactor there, the villagers are trying to rebel against ShinRa. Your mission is to get those people under control so we can get some engineers to fix the problems with the reactor. The insurgents are dangerous and have procured weapons to match our own, the only way we can subdue them is with force as negotiations have fallen through. With Sephiroth there I doubt anyone will want to attack us again but...we can never be sure. So, do you all understand?"

There were general mutters of agreement. I frown slightly. Why would anyone be upset with a having a reactor built in their village? Mount Nibel had one and my village was fine. I feel Zack tense slightly. I glance his way and see him glaring at the table.

"Tseng...can you give us any more information on these insurgents? I will need to know number, range of weaponry, and how insistent they are." Sephiroth said softly. His eyes closed and his head bowed slightly.

"Their numbers are...unknown. We have tried to infiltrate their ranks but they are better led than we first thought, they seem to have a way of discovering spies. I have lost many men already until I had to ask Heidigger to stop sending my men in." I saw his anger in the way he held himself. No one liked the head of the military; he was a fat annoying man who I had only met once when I had first joined. "There weapons are...mostly handmade but still very affective. They have trained themselves exceptionally well in Guerrilla war fare. They...have also managed to get their hands on some powerful materia. I really am convinced that they won't give up unless they are forcefully subdued."

"Hmmm..." Sephiroth hummed thoughtfully. Slowly his eyes opened. "Zack, what do you think?"

Zack looked slightly taken aback to be asked his opinion. He frowned and clasped his hands in front of him. "We should use whatever tactics necessary to quell the uprising, if we don't then there could be more trouble later on."

I stared around the quiet table noting the people there. Two Turks, including Tseng, myself and three other cadets in blue uniforms, Sephiroth and Zack and some engineers. Quite a group. I also had a feeling that I would just become cannon fodder, I sigh under my breath.

"Right, Briefing over. Let's get going." Tseng said quietly.

Everyone stood and I followed suite following Zack out of the room. We were to be taken there by truck. My stomach churned when I saw it. I suffer from severe travel sickness. Zack must have seen the queasy look on my face, he turned and smiled. "Hey, hang in there! You okay?"

I smile weakly. "I...get travel sick..." I mutter with a small blush.

"Really?" Zack stares at me for a moment before shaking his head. "Just don't throw up until we stop! Please...I don't wanna go through that."

I laugh nervously. "Sorry...i'll try not to."

The journey was long. I sat in the back with my arms wrapped around my knees desperately trying not to throw up. The vehicle jolted and wobbled not helping matters. I cover my face groaning as we hit a stone on the rough road. I hear Zack's laughter as he sat chatting casually to the others, Sephiroth sits with his eyes closed and one knee drawn up and his arm hanging loosely over his knee. His huge sword lay next to him and the cadets all try not to fall over and get impaled on it as the truck bounced along. Zack has a sword too. I have never seen him with it before. It is huge, unlike Sephiroth's, his is thick and the handle square. It sits propped up against the side of the truck. I am only armed with a gun. I have trained with the rifle but I can't aim very well, I also have a knife in my boot in case I run out of bullets. I clench my hands and swallow trying to quell the sickness. I feel awful.

Finally after hours of travelling we pull to a stop. I gasp in relief. We all climb out the back and stand around waiting for the truck to disappear. I spot a clump of bushes and run over to them bending down and heaving up the last meal. I hear laughter but I find that I can't care, I want to do is make myself feel better. Once finished I groan and wipe a shaking hand across my mouth closing my eyes and panting.

"Finished?" Zack say's from where he stands beside me. I nod slowly and straighten. "You did good to hold it in for that long!"

"It's not funny..." I pant. "Ugh..." I finally open my eyes and see Sephiroth giving orders.

"You're with me n' Sephiroth today. Were gunna be protecting the engineers while they go and check out the reactor."

I look up at him unable to hide my nerves.

"Ha-ha! Don't worry so much, you'll be fine! Remember we're here. I won't let you die."

"Easier said than done." I mutter with a frown.

"You two! Don't stand around talking, let's get going!"

I jump at the command and follow Zack over to where Sephiroth stands with the nervous looking engineers.

"Sir, the reactors over this way...we have to follow the old railway." One man said looking down at a map.

Sephiroth nodded. "Come." He said.

We all followed him. I walk with my head lowered at the back of the line, Sephiroth leads with Zack and the engineers walk between us. The old railroad is dilapidated and unused. At some places we are forced to jump over gaps, Sephiroth and Zack taking them easily. I slip at one point and fall only just managing to grab hold of the wood. I swear loudly and struggle to get my feet on a bit of metal sticking out beneath me.

"Hey...Need a hand?" Zack said with a smile. I grab his gloved hand and help him heave me up onto firmer ground. I sigh and brush myself down.

"Sorry..." I mutter.

"No worries...just be a bit more careful next time."

We set off again. I keep my eyes peeled for potential enemies, I can't help but feel as if I'm being watched.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Another chapter for your hungry little eyes! Action begins! I hope it's good! Oh, I have stolen actual lines from Final Fantasy 7 related stuff! (In case you hadn't noticed) I think it adds something to the story! XD

Chapter 5

"_Embrace your dreams; if you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams..."_

_What is fate?_

_Is it a tangible thing like a red cord that binds us all together, or is it something less substantial...something that one cannot see yet feels that it is there?_

_Life is meaningless without dreams, but what if fate guides you on a different path? _

_What if your dreams come to nothing?_

_Can a man live with nothing?_

_Can a human being live with no dreams?_

_Or does that mean that he is dead?_

_Is my fate to follow in the footsteps of one I admire or is it to fade? To become nothing. To die._

After a gruelling trek through the mountains we finally arrive at the Corel reactor. I stare up at it as I follow Sephiroth across the rail track toward the entrance. My fellow cadets muttering quietly amongst themselves. I was a little relieved at the lack of action on the way here but I still could not shake the feeling that someone was following us. I ignored it and followed the others inside while one of the cadets was left outside to guard the entrance.

Once inside we made our way to the centre of the reactor. Once there I grab Zack's arm pulling him back slightly and lean toward him. "You get the feeling we're being followed?" I whisper.

"Yeh...Don't worry about it...just act casual. Don't alert them to the fact that we know. Sephiroth has already noticed, be careful and keep your guard up. Everything will work out if you stick to my side." He winked at me before walking ahead. I follow nervously.

Suddenly there's a scream and gun fire. I spin around and look back the way we just came. The sounds are brutally cut short. I feel Zack's hand on my shoulder and he drags me to his side.

"They took their time." Sephiroth mutters sweeping hair back from his face. His sword glinted in the eerie green light. His eyes meet mine for a second. "Stay with Zack, follow the Engineers and protect them. This is your order."

I nod my head and turn to Zack who grins and pulls me away from Sephiroth. "He fights alone. He'll be fine, we need to stick to the mission."

"Yes, sir." I mutter trying not to trip over my feet. The engineers look terrified. I can't blame them. More gun fire makes me want to turn around but I keep running with Zack. I hear Sephiroth's soft laughter and screams.

Finally we reach the control area, the engineers unpack their bags and begin working on the machinery. I stand at Zack's side trying to stop my hands from shaking, suddenly he has his hand on my head and I look up into his smiling face. "Hang in there kid."

I nod slightly. I can't talk. My stomach twists as the screams get louder. The sound of boots on metal reach our ears. "S...Someone got past Sephiroth..." I mutter.

"Doubtful..." Zack frowns and un-straps his sword from his back. He glances behind him at the engineers. "Keep working. We'll cover you."

"Y...yes sir!"

Suddenly a man rounds the corner. His face is covered by a balaclava. Zack pushes me behind him as the guy raises his gun. "Cloud, I will protect you. Do you trust me?"

I stare up at him. "Yes."

"Cool, then stay back and watch the fireworks!"

Like I could do anything else! The man levels his gun at Zack and fires. I blink. Zack had literally disappeared before my eyes. He reappeared before the man and brings the heavy looking sword down with a cry. My mouth hangs open slightly. The man is cleaved in two. Just as I begin to breathe a sigh of relief more insurgents round the corner. A man manages to get straight past Zack's furious assault. He runs toward me. I have to protect the Engineers. I raise my gun too slowly. The man has a knife and he jumps on me pinning me to the floor. He raises the knife and I grab his wrist. Gritting my teeth I reach down to my own dagger while trying to stop the steady descent of my opponents. My finger tips touch the handle...so close...just a little further...I manage to grab the handle but as I'm drawing it the man on top of me over powers me. The dagger plunges into my stomach. A scream escapes me. Fire tears through my veins. I grab my own knife and sweep it across the man's throat. Blood pours over my face and I throw the corpse off of me gasping desperately. My hand slips down and covers the wound in my abdomen. I grit my teeth against another cry of agony. I gasp and tip my head back. The sound of fighting has died down. I feel my own blood flowing over my hands as I press them tightly to the wound. A bright flash of light makes me open my eyes slightly.

Zack is stood surrounded by an aura of greenish energy, his arm is out facing a tall heavily built man. The man collapses and Zack sigh's tearing his sword from the metal at his feet. His eyes turn to me and widen. "Cloud!" he drops his sword and kneels at my side. His hand sweeps my hair from my face. "Shit..." He mutters and peels my numb fingers from the wound. "Shit...shit..."

The sound of heavy boots echoes through the hall. I feel my vision waver. The pain reaches it's peek and I grit my teeth hard in order to stay conscious. I grab Zack's hand tightly. "I...I'll be fine..." I mutter.

"He will be."

My eyes land on Sephiroth. He stood at the doorway with his now bloody sword in his hand. He did not have a scratch on him. Zack had a bullet graze along one cheek but otherwise seemed unharmed. "Zack...out the way."

Zack reluctantly stands. Sephiroth kneels at my side and gently covers the wound. "Yes...you are very interesting, boy. This wound should have killed you. You have lost a lot of blood and it seems your stomach has been perforated." I saw that smile on his lips. "You fascinate me."

His arm began to glow green and I felt the pain fade slowly. I sighed heavily and let my hands fall to my sides. The wound healed it's self until there wasn't even a scar left. When he had finished he chuckled and stood up, retrieving his sword. "You did well, boy. To fight off a man of that level and kill him while you were dying. Very impressive."

I try to sit up but Zack pushes me back. "Just lie still for a minute. Healing magic takes a while to work fully."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Another chapter! I am really excited about this! I can't wait to see what I can cook up next! I know the whole Sephiroth/Cloud puppet thing doesn't happen until he's drugged with Mako after Hojo's done with him but I love the idea so much! I just couldn't resist putting it in! Hehe! Sephiroth rules! I thought that it would be nice to have a little heart to heart with the guys...i wrote it while listening to the song "The Promised Land" by Nobuo Umatsu...If you haven't heard the theme music...you HAVE TO! The soundtrack is what makes it! Anyways...enjoy as always! And review, review! Love to my faithful readers!

Chapter 6

"_... Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud. You are..."_

"_Because you are... a puppet..."_

_Jolting, harsh words...the noise in my head is too much...I can't hear anything else._

_A heart beat._

_Drowning out all other noise._

_A voice, soft, deep and terrifying..._

_A...Puppet? To be controlled by strings attached to my arms and legs..._

_Painful. The words make my heart ache._

_Puppet?_

_Is that all I am?_

_A single voice that commands me to obey..._

_I don't know who I am anymore._

_Wake up!_

I sit bolt upright in bed gasping and clutching the covers with sweaty hands, my eyes wide as I stare around the unfamiliar room. I put my hands to my head trying to remember what had woken me. A nightmare? No...i have them often enough to know the difference. Slowly my heart beat slows down and I take a slow breath. I am in a hotel...well, it is more like a tent. A large tent but tent none the less. I am still in Corel with Zack and...Sephiroth. We lost all the other cadets at the reactor plus one engineer, we have to stay until the uprising is fully subdued. I remember the Turks arriving after the bloodshed and cleaning up. Tseng had been in charge. I look to my side to see Zack curled up wrapped in his blankets, a bandage on his cheek where the bullet had scraped him. Not enough damage to need healing. I sigh and lie back with my arm under my head. The top of the tent isn't all that interesting so I stand and wrap a blanket around my shoulders creeping out the tent. I walk around the quiet camp site and stop when I see a figure sat on a rock overlooking the abandoned railway tracks. I try to make as little noise as possible when I turn to walk away but I am noticed.

"Cloud...come here."

I feel my body go rigid and turn slowly. "S...Sephiroth...I'm...sorry to disturb you...sir."

"I said come here."

I walk to his side without thinking. Being trained in the military makes you obey commands whether you want to or not. He doesn't look at me. I find myself fidgeting slightly with the blanket and staring out at the dark landscape trying to see what has him so fascinated. The stars stretch over head covering the world in a blanket of little lights. You can't see many stars Midgar, too many electrical lights. As I look up I suddenly feel tiny. Like a speck of dust caught in the light. I shudder. I wander what it is like up there? Are there other planets like ours? Inhabited by humanoid creatures? I suddenly feel a soul crushing loneliness and sigh heavily. Whatever is up there I'll probably never have the chance to find out. ShinRa's space programme have yet to produce any results. Suddenly Sephiroth shifts and breaks me from my thoughts.

"I assume you were unable to sleep?" He said softly.

"No...sir." I reply.

"Well, I cannot blame you. This was your first real battle wasn't it?"

"Yes, sir."

I hear him chuckle. "You froze didn't you?"

I lower my head in shame. "Yes...I panicked."

"I suppose for someone like you killing a man must be difficult...but, you did it quickly and without remorse when it was down to you or him...you do have potential."

"Thank you, sir..." I whisper. I haven't been able to get the man's face from my mind. His dying eyes haunt me.

Finally he turns and looks at me. I swallow nervously as I meet his gaze. "In the end...you are still just a child." He whispers almost too softly to hear. "Why do you wish to join SOLDIER?"

I feel compelled to answer. "Because I want to become like you...because I want to be stronger."

"Ah...well, that is a good reason." He turns his eyes back to the surrounding area. "Where do you come from?"

"Sorry...?"

"Where is your home town?"

"Nibelheim, sir."

"A country boy. Just like Zack...no wander you two get along so well."

I shift slightly feeling uncomfortable with the small talk. Sephiroth did not seem like the sort of man who would while away his hours chatting casually, he must have some kind of point to all these questions.

"Sit, Cloud." He said waving a hand to his side.

I sit without thinking nearly toppling backwards, luckily I manage to catch myself.

"Did you know that the planet is alive?"

I watch him closely from the corner of my eye. "No, sir."

"It is. The planet is alive, it's blood is the Mako energy that ShinRa is sucking from it like a vampire. Human's are slowly killing the planet after she has worked so hard to bring us life...a bit unfair don't you think?"

I wrap my blanket tighter around myself and stare up at the stars again. "Yes...it is unfair...But surely the Planet has a way of protecting its self from parasites? I mean...wouldn't it be a shame if she allowed us to kill her without putting up some kind of fight?" I speak softly not really thinking about what I'm saying. "I believe that...if we were taking too much for granted the planet would eventually save its self...and get revenge. But, I also think that we need to be more careful so it doesn't come to that. It is up to us to return what we were given."

"Indeed. We must all return to the lifestream at some point..."

I sigh and lie back so I can stare at the stars without getting a crick in my neck. I reach up with my hand and spread my fingers wandering if I could catch a handful of them and bring them to me. "It's...so big." I whisper. "We are nothing but insignificant specks in the grand scheme of things...I feel...lonely thinking about it." I clench my hand into a fist. "It wouldn't matter if I were to just...disappear. Leaving nothing behind...no one would change their lives if I died. ShinRa would go on...the planet would go on...nothing would change."

Sephiroth stayed silent. I could feel his eyes on me and it made me uncomfortable.

"But, in the end...we have to follow our own hearts. We have to go on with our lives...doing the best that we can." I open my fingers releasing the imaginary stars that I had caught and slowly let my hand fall to my side. "The sky is...beautiful."

I hear Sephiroth sigh and I look over at him. His eyes are on the stars, the small crescent moon highlights his face and makes his hair glow. I can't help but sigh at the sight of it. I was talking to my hero! I felt...peaceful. It was a nice change from the nervous wreck I usually am. Maybe it was the change in scenery? Or maybe the fact that the sky was so beautiful? I didn't know and I didn't want to. I lay still absorbing the moment trying to seal it in my memory forever.

Finally Sephiroth broke the silence. "When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end, the goddess descends from the sky, wings of light and dark spread afar she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting."

I stare at him. Was he quoting poetry? "What was that?"

He chuckled softly. "An extract from LOVELESS...I have a...friend who quotes it often enough. It seemed appropriate."

I lay my head back again. I had no idea what he was talking about so I kept quiet. Suddenly Sephiroth stands and looms over me. "Stand up."

I do as asked and stand shivering slightly as the blanket lies on the ground. I wrap my arms around myself and stare at anything but him.

"You are a strange boy...Cloud. You have strength but do not see it...maybe it is up to you to discover your true strength by yourself...? I have never encountered anyone like you..." he paused thoughtfully and I risked a glance at his face. He was frowning. The silence suddenly became oppressive and I closed my eyes briefly in an attempt to dispel the sudden fear that welled up in my chest. Why was I so frightened all of a sudden? We had just been speaking calmly moments before! Sephiroth had a strange affect on me...I felt drawn to him in ways I was unable to understand.

That heart beat again. Pulsing through me like a drum beat. Over and over until I had to squeeze my eyes shut and put my hands over my ears in poor attempt to block out the sound. So loud! Why is it so loud? I shouldn't be hearing it! He's stood meters from me. I groan and feel my knees give way as I collapse to the floor.

Hands grab the tops of arms dragging me to my feet. I stare up into those glowing cats eyes, they seemed to fill all my vision. I gasped in a breath trying to control my own racing heart. I put my hands out and push against his chest. "S...Stop!" I mutter. "It...it's too loud!" I tip my head back so my eyes can look at the stars instead. They all seem to have taken on that same greenish glow...Enough! I can't take anymore! My head is going to explode! What was happening to me?

Strong arms surround my trembling body and I am forced to sit down on the rock that Sephiroth had just vacated. "Cloud?"

I can hear him call my name but I can't respond. Finally my body goes limp and I look up into those eyes, drawn to them like a magnet. My hands rest on his chest. He's speaking...i can see his lips moving but I can't hear anything but that same thudding heart beat. I can feel his leather coat pressed against my arms and his hand as it slides through my hair softly.

A whisper...almost too soft to hear...but, as I feel myself slide into darkness it reaches me.

"You...will be perfect."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Wow...I actually wore myself out writing this! Fight scene written to One Winged Angel! Oh yeh! Hope this is to your liking my beloved readers. By the way the italic bit with the speech marks at the beginning is an extract from the poem LOVELESS! Just thought I'd sneak it in there! Hehe! Enjoy and review! XD

Chapter 7

"_There is no hate, only joy  
For you are beloved by the goddess  
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds_

_Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul  
Pride is lost  
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh."_

_In the darkness there is only one light, it is small but if I reach for it...maybe...just maybe it will grow large enough to illuminate me._

_It does not grow. Like a tiny star it blinks, maybe it is too far away..._

_Maybe if I can't reach the light I will disappear..._

_Maybe no one will remember me._

_Maybe...I will be lost here with no way out..._

_Lost in this cold, oppressive darkness._

_Alone._

_That light...I will watch it carefully...If it grows then I will know..._

_I will know that I am not alone._

"Oy!"

Ah...too loud! Your voice hurts...leave me alone! I want to sleep...

"Wake up! Oy, kid! Get your yellow ass up!"

"Whaissit...?" I roll away from the voice and cover my head with my blanket. My head is pounding. He's too loud. Suddenly the blankets are torn from me and I cry out as the cold hits my skin. "Fuck...Zack! Give me the blankets! It's cold!" I sit up rubbing my tired eyes.

"You slept in. Tseng's throwing a fit! The insurgents have been found and it's go time! Get up lazy!"

The blankets end up covering my head. I pull them off and yawn, wander why I'm so tired? "'m up!" I mutter sleepily. My uniform is folded neatly by my camp bed with my polished boots beside it. I begin changing quickly. Zack opens the tent flap and I can suddenly hear noise, people running around, orders being shouted. I shove my boots on my feet still yawning. I run fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame the wild spikes. Then I stand up scratching my head.

"Good! Let's get going before you get yourself a reprimand...don't piss off the Turks!" Zack grinned and I followed him out the tent. Immediately we were met by a man in a suite.

"Took your time..." he muttered. "Tseng's looking for you Zack."

"Cool, I'll be there in a sec." He turns to me with a concerned frown. "You alright kid? You were tossing and turning in your sleep last night..."

I smile. "Yeh, I'm fine. Please don't worry about me Zack...just go and report to Tseng."

He pats my head and runs off, I still can't fathom where he gets all his energy from. I look up at the sky and find that it's after dawn. The clouds are passing quickly indicating rain. This was going to be a difficult day. I sigh and rub the back of my head as my eyes search the busy camp. I see Sephiroth stood a few feet away, his arms folded as he speaks to Zack and Tseng. I look away quickly when his eyes turn in my direction. I put one arm around myself protectively. The floor suddenly seems very interesting and I stare at a stone for a while, a beetle makes it's slow way over it. Suddenly I feel a hand land on my shoulder. I look up to find Zack looking at me seriously.

"We have orders." He said. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't like them. "Damn Turks." He spits. "Cloud...whatever happens I will do my best to protect you. Understand?"

I smile, "Of course." I feel him ruffle my hair again.

"We have to wipe out every last one of the Insurgents...They're orders from the top. The bosses want them eradicated, Sephiroth has already tried to get them to get him to go alone...but they want everyone who's left."

"It's a suicide mission isn't it?" I say quietly.

He looks at me. "Not for you. I won't let that happen...When I saw you injured in the reactor that time...i...nearly lost it. It's a good job you're made of strong stuff, that wound should have killed you."

"I'll be alright. You don't need to put yourself out for me...I'm just a cadet. My life is unimportant, isn't it my job to play the role of back up?"

"No. I don't want to hear those words come from your mouth! You are not going to die! I won't let that happen, ever." I hear the anger in his voice and decide not to pursue the subject.

"Zack, the boy will be fine. You should be worrying about yourself, we are the front line and I will not have you make mistakes to protect one child." I look up to see Sephiroth stood before us. His eyes meet mine and i sway slightly feeling suddenly disorientated, my hand goes to my head and I frown in an attempt to stay focused.

"I'm not worried about myself; it would take a hell of a lot more than untrained rebels to take me down. I'm worried about Cloud..." he turns to me as I grip his shirt tightly in my hand to stop myself from falling over. He holds me upright and steadies me. "Hey...what's wrong now?"

"I...feel dizzy...I'll be alright soon. Just...give me a minute."

"He looks pale...did you not get enough sleep?" Sephiroth asks in his usual cold sounding voice.

"Nnnn...no." I gasp. "I think...i had nightmares..."

"Maybe it would be best if you stayed behind..."

I hold up my hand interrupting Zack. "No." I whisper. I was desperate to see them both in action. I wanted to witness my hero fighting in a real battle. "I'll be fine. Just go...and don't worry about me."

Mid-morning and I'm stood in line with the reinforcements that had arrived earlier. I am just one in amongst many. Just another blue clad infantry man. My helmet covers my face and my eyes follow Sephiroth as he paces up and down the line explaining the next move.

"We have discovered the enemy base camp, there are quite a few well armed and well trained men out there. Zack and I will be out front, I want you to split into two groups and seal every possible exit."

I hear Zack's slightly angry voice as he mutters. "Just a stupid, pointless massacre..."

Sephiroth sighs and turns to him. "You will do as ordered, this is not a choice."

"Yes sir." He mumbled without looking up. He sits on a rock with one knee drawn up and his arm resting across it, his sword leans against the rock at his side. I can see the bitterness in his face.

Sephiroth split us up into two groups and we were sent to surround the camp and prevent escapees. No prisoners. Just trap and execute. I could understand Zack's reluctance but we could not defy orders. I crept through the high rocks that surrounded the camp trying to get behind it to block the exit. I raise my head slightly and see men, women and children all wandering around the camp. I duck back down...women and children? I put a hand to my head holding my gun tightly. What were ShinRa trying to prove with this? Why were we supposed to murder innocents? After a moment I begin again, whatever happens I have to follow through. I have to become stronger, even if that means losing my humanity. I hear the others as they walked as softly as possible, some muffled sounds could be heard but they were drowned out by the laughter and other noises below.

Finally we reach our positions, my sergeant radio's in quietly that we are in position and then puts the radio aside. He removes his helmet and looks around at us all. I can see the pain in his expression.

"Last order's people...we kill everyone. No exceptions. None can escape...they are going to try and wipe them off the map..."

"But sir, there are children in there...We can't just murder kids..." One man said beside me.

"We have to...it's us or them. Come on, we should receive the signal soon."

I lean against a rock and turn my head so I can look down the low valley to the encampment. The entrance is a bottle neck, that's where Zack and Sephiroth will be appearing.

"Keep it together, men." The captain whispers. "When the signal comes we'll jump out and block the exit to the ravine...then...we kill any who try and escape."

I feel my heart beat speed up. Nerves twist my stomach painfully and I almost wince. My hands begin to sweat under my gloves and the sky darkens ominously. I shift slightly. The only noises are the sounds of the oblivious people below and our own ragged breathing. I swallow to try and wet my dry mouth.

Sudden bright flash of green light.

"There. That's the signal...Move out."

I try to stand but my eyes catch sight of Sephiroth. He stands in the midst of the camp with his long sword. Screams begin to echo through the valley as people realise what's happening. The sunlight flashes along his sword before the sun is covered by the ever increasing clouds. A wind begins to blow. I can't seem to look away. He is surrounded by a strange greenish aura. He lifts his hand slowly and suddenly lightening sears the sky nearly blinding me. There is a thundering crack as a bolt of lightening hits the tents making them burst into flame. The earth rumbles beneath my feet and I am dragged up by the collar of my uniform.

"Get going, cadet! This is no time to be nervous."

I am hauled into a standing position and shoved roughly to the low dip in the cliffs. People are running in terror now, I can't blame them. I want to run. My hand shakes as I hold my gun.

Huge blocks of stone crash through the surface of the earth like bones. I duck as boulders the size of men come flying past my head and fall behind me with a splintering crash. Fire leaps up and surrounds the fleeing people. Sephiroth can just be made out through the flames, his sword turned orange and red. The flames cut off all escape routes. The screams are so awful I can't hide a shiver.

I lift my hand and remove my helmet. It's hot. Even though the rain has begun to fall the temperature keeps rising. I see people wreathed in flames run screaming toward us where they are gunned down. A flash of blue steel drives back the flames slightly and I see Zack stood back to back with Sephiroth, they appear to be arguing while fighting off some of the braver...or more stupid, rebels. I watch in horror as the massacre continues. I don't have the heart to raise my gun. I can't kill innocent people. I just don't have the guts. Maybe...in all this chaos no will notice.

Suddenly there is a huge, earth shattering rumble. Sephiroth is staring into the sky where clouds have begun to swirl. I hear his voice over the noise. "Zack! What are doing?"

"Giving these people an easier death! If I have to do it...then I can at least make it less painful! Don't stop me!"

I stare as a huge winged creature appears in the sky. Zack is surrounded by flickering red flashes of energy. Summoning materia. The beast descends. More screams. A gigantic dragon appears and I feel my fingers go numb and the gun falls to the floor. What was he doing? He was going to kill us all.

Then...the world tilts. The earth splits beneath my feet and I fall over grabbing a nearby rock for support.

"Zack! You are going to kill us all!" Sephiroth shouts.

"So what?" he screams back.

The dragon flaps it's wings causing an intense wind that forces everyone to the floor, except Zack and Sephiroth. It roars, deafening all those nearby. I try and cover my ears to block out the sound but it's useless. Then its jaws open. I gasp and stare up at it. A great big ball of energy appears in its mouth. I can see the fangs. People begin running in my direction but I don't stop them...what's the point? This thing is going to kill us all anyway...why fight it?

Suddenly Sephiroth raises his sword as the dragon releases the energy. Zack, suddenly distracted turns to his fellow SOLDIER. As the energy crashes toward the earth Sephiroth whips his sword through it slicing through the middle. There is an explosion as the energy crashes to earth. I am thrown onto my back with a strangled cry. I fall back...and keep falling.

Suddenly there is silence.

I feel light. Weightless. Did I die? Floating...in what? Is this...water?

There is no pain. No blood. No fear.

Am I alive?

Where am i?

_Cloud?_

Too quiet. There should be some kind of noise shouldn't there?

_Cloud? You need to get up._

Who is it? How do they know that name?

_Wake up now cloud. You're needed._

_Wake up..._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Chapter 8 is a short taster chapter! I just want to know if anyone can work out what I mean by J.S.G? If you're as big of a nerd as I am then it should be easy to work out! Anyways! Read and review! And, as always, love to u!

Chapter 8

"_My friend, do you fly away now?  
To a world that abhors you and I?  
All that awaits you is a sombre morrow  
No matter where the winds may blow_

_My friend, your desire  
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess_

_Even if the morrow is barren of promises  
Nothing shall forestall my return."_

I can hear voices but I can't respond. Someone has hold of my hand tightly.

_**Cloud...can you hear me? You have to wake up! You have to get up! They're gunna take you away! Get up! Cloud...please...**_

_**It's no good...he's comatose. Let us take him.**_

_**No! I can bring him back! I won't let you touch him you creepy bastard!**_

_**Zack! Stop it. He'll be fine. You need to look beyond his outward exterior. Look at him...REALLY look. **_

_**Sephiroth...I don't understand...?**_

_**That boy won't be waking up anytime soon, the professor wants him. Sephiroth, please, get him out of here.**_

_**I have no control over what he does. You do not order me around.**_

_**N...No...s...sorry sir...i never meant...**_

I can't move. I can't see. What happened? What's wrong with me? What was Zack talking about? Where was I going to be taken? Why can't I move?

_**Cloud...I'll come get you! I promised I would protect you! Don't you DARE hurt him! If you do...i'll...**_

_**You'll what? **_

_**Zack...do not make the situation worse than it already is. Your actions have already caused more problems than I would like...leave Professor Hojo to do his job.**_

_**Thank you Sephiroth.**_

Those hands are too cold. Too rough. I want to wake up now...That voice...I know that voice! Are they...talking about me? Am i...dead? No, surely death means that you don't feel...I can feel. Hands...such cold, freezing hands.

_Cloud...Wake up._

I open my eyes and blink a few times to ease the sting from the bright light. "Nnng..." I try to move my arms. Something digs into my wrists. My eyes widen in fear. What is going on? Why can't I remember what happened after we were sent off to surround the Corel encampment? What's wrong with me? I struggle slightly pressing against the bonds that cover my body. My heart is racing. My eyes scan my surroundings, or what I can see of them as I can't move my head. A white room. A single electric strip light hangs directly above me. I shiver. It's cold in the room. I give up trying to free myself, it's pointless.

I lay still and try to listen for any sound that may indicate where I am. I hear soft clinking as if someone is tapping slowly on some glass. But that is the only sound. I remember a trick I learnt when I was a child. Slowly I emptied my lungs and closed my eyes, I began to relax each muscle. When I was completely relaxed I focused all my concentration on one part of my body, I begin to turn my wrist in half circles. Steady. Keep everything else still and relaxed. I concentrate every particle of my being on that one wrist. I feel the sharp sting as the leather strap digs into my flesh. Ignore it. Don't tense. Keep your body relaxed. Slowly the strap loosens. I manage to contort my hand enough to slip free. I gasp as I raise it so I can see the damage. A bright red ring surrounds my wrist. I sigh and reach up to my head patting around to see what is holding it down. Two straps. One over my forehead and another across my chin, these I undo after some minutes trying to find the buckles. I lift my head up and begin un-strapping the rest of my body. Finally I am free. I sigh and take a moment to view my surroundings. A small rectangular room all painted white. The table is metal and cold against my bare flesh. I see a desk with a book on it and a pen. An odd shaped glass stands beside this with a glowing substance in it. I frown and rub my head. Other equipment lay on a small table with wheels on the bottom, I dare not look underneath the cloth that covers them.

I am wearing nothing but a plain white smock. I stand on shaking legs and make my way over toward the desk. Looking down I see it is a record. A picture of me sits in the corner kept in place by a paper clip. I run my fingers over the book as I read the writing;

_Subject is sixteen years old, short, with blond hair and blue eyes. Joined Cadets at age fifteen, has failed multiple exams to improve rank. Good healthy body. Perfect for future testing. _

_Experiment 1: Subject responded well to first dose. Will increase during next test. (Subject is comatose still. Will discover results when he wakes.)_

_Experiment 2: Subject has taken to J.S.G. So far so good. Observation will now ensue. _

_After a week's observation still no sign of recovery. Will continue to watch. When/if subject regains consciousness we will up dosage of Mako and J.S.G. _

_Experiment 3: ..._

The rest of the page was blank. I swallowed the lump in my throat. What had they been doing to me? What was J.S.G? Why were they testing me? Had they really dosed me with Mako? I had to get out of there. I had to find Zack! In a panic I turn to the door and pull on the handle, it opens and I run into the deserted hallway. The laboratory! I had been Experimented on by Hojo! I gasp and begin running as fast as I could to find Zack. I needed help.

**END NOTE: J.S.G: **So...Did u work it out? Hehe! If you did well done, if you didn't I'm sorry if it was too cryptic! I know the experiments don't actually happen until after Nibelheim but I took the idea from a scene in Final Fantasy 7: Last Order (A little anime thing of Crisis Core) at one point when Cloud is fighting Sephiroth in the Nibel reactor he looks up at Sephy and his eyes glow! So I thought it would be good to give a reason for that! More will be explained in later chapters so have no fear my little friends! XD


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Wow! I never realised how popular this would be! I love writing this...although it does hurt. I am actually drawing on a lot of my own experiences from when I was at school and stuff (The bullying...not the Hojo experimenting! Don't worry I'm not a remnant!)...so i hope that emotion comes across in my writing because it's a bit like counselling...in a painful emo-ish kinda way! Hehe. I would just like to say that I put my heart and soul into everything I write and your comments really cheer me up, thank you. XD

Chapter 9

"_Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess  
We seek it thus, and take to the sky  
Ripples form on the water's surface  
The wandering soul knows no rest."_

"_The Lifestream courses through our Planet back and forth across the borders of life and death. If that cycle is the very truth of life then history, too, will inevitably repeat itself. So go on - bring your Jenova's and your Sephiroth's. It won't matter. We'll do as life dictates and stop you every single time."_

I skidded around a corner and slammed into something solid. I fell backwards reaching out to steady myself and closing my eyes tightly in shock. A hand grabbed me.

"Cloud! You're awake!"

"Zack..." I mutter in relief. I fall forward into his arms and he catches me. I have no more strength. My head hurts.

"Cloud...Hey...Come on...I'll get you back to your room. We'll sort this out."

My hand grips his jacket tightly and I lift my head to look into his face. "They...They did things...while I was unconscious...Zack! They used me for their sick experiments...and no one stopped them! Am I really that worthless?"

Zack stares down into my eyes his own widen slightly. "What...did they do?"

"I...I'm not sure." I mutter looking away. "There was a book. A book with some details in..."

"Where? Let's go get it...if we don't know what they've done to you then we don't know how to deal with it."

"I don't wanna go back there! No! Don't make me!" I hide my face in his clothes. He pats my head gently.

"I'll be with you this time, come on."

He pulls me away from him and pushes me gently forward. We return to the small room, I stand outside with my hand clutched to my chest. My eyes are wide with fear. I don't want to know what they did. I don't want to know!

"Cloud...Hang in there." Zack says with a smile. He steps in through the door and I follow, not wanting to leave his side. He turns his head as he searches the immaculate room then he spots the table and stares down at the book his eyes scanning the writing. He picked it up and flicked back through the pages his frown deepening. "This...this is..."

"This is a privet room."

I freeze to the spot with terror. That voice. Professor Hojo is stood behind me.

"You may be first class Mr. Fair but here I am in charge!"

Zack looks up putting the book down. "You...What have you been doing here? Every single one of these people in the book died!"

Hojo stepped up beside me. I shuddered as ghostly memories flash through my mind, half formed and incoherent. I gasp and put a hand to my mouth. "What happens here is privet! You cannot just come in here and release my research materials! Get out and go back where you came from!"

I watch Zack's hands clench into fists. "Cloud is a human being!" he hisses. "How can you treat someone like that?"

"Human?" he muttered before laughing.

I feel my stomach clench tightly. What is this? My head begins throbbing again. I raise my hands to it squeezing my eyes shut. An awful noise makes my ears ring. A high pitched buzzing fills my head making me cry out. Zack runs to my side.

"Oh...This is an interesting reaction."

I open an eye and watch as he bent down and began inspecting me closely. "S...Stop...please...make it stop!"

"Hmmmm, I see...does it hurt?"

I clench my teeth.

"Don't! Don't ask questions when he's obviously in pain! Leave him alone!" Zack says angrily.

The ringing won't stop. I can't get rid of it. I fall against Zack losing the ability to hold myself upright. I groan and close my eyes again then...as suddenly as it had started it stopped. I gasp and open my eyes. Hojo's eyes widened and he took his glasses off rubbing them quickly against his shirt before putting them back on. I look up at Zack who nearly drops me. I get my feet under me and stand on my own. "The...The pain's gone." I mutter.

"Well...this is really very fascinating! Come over here and sit down...I have some more tests I want to perform..."

"No." I say suddenly. Zack looks at me with a slightly surprised expression. "I will not allow you to touch me again. Leave me the hell alone! I am leaving." I turn toward the door and step out into the corridor. I feel...strange. My body feels as if it has been seared in a fire and yet...i feel no pain. What had he done to me? Why had even Zack been afraid when he had looked me in the eyes?

Zack follows me out then takes my shoulders and turns me to face him. His eyes scan mine and he frowns. "Cloud...maybe you should take a look at yourself in a mirror...when we get back to the dorm..."

"Zack...what's wrong with me?" I ask quietly.

"I...No, it's better that you see for yourself."

I sigh heavily rubbing a hand across my eyes. "He dosed me with Mako didn't he?" I say looking back up at him.

His eyes widen again. "What...? That's really weird." He mutters. "I could have sworn your eyes were just...no. Impossible."

We begin walking back to the dorms, no one tried to stop us. I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. Obviously it had been alright for Hojo to use me with the higher ups...else I wouldn't have been there in the first place.

Finally we get back to the dorm and I slump back into the bed. Zack sits at my desk with his boots on the top of it and his hands behind his head. "You don't need to look in the mirror anymore." He muttered.

"Ok." I sit up and stare at him frowning in annoyance. "What the hell is going on? I want answers."

Zack looked at me and I saw pain in his eyes. "It's my fault." He whispered. "When we were at Corel...I summoned...Bahamut. I did it because...I couldn't let those people die painful death's...If I hadn't have done that...then they wouldn't have taken you away. You must have been hit by something...and I found you lying there covered in blood. That bastard Hojo took you to the labs as soon as we got back and i...haven't seen you for a week."

I frown. "So...I was unconscious and they thought they'd just fill me with Mako for a laugh?"

"No...Sephiroth mentioned...about your fast healing. He said that you had not died from a wound that would have killed anyone else. He...He basically gave you to them. The higher up's had you written off on sick leave and I just had to sit around and wait..."

_You...will be perfect._

His words echo in my head for a moment. I shiver slightly and wrap my arms around myself. "It...was his idea?" I mutter. "Why? Why is he so obsessed with me?"

Zack shrugs. "Also...when we were in the lab...I saw..." he pauses and looks at me. "Your eyes...they're blue normally right?"

I nod unsure what he's getting at.

"Well...they're still blue now...but earlier...earlier I could have sworn they looked just like his."

"Whose?" I already know the answer.

"They looked like Sephiroth's."

"Why? I mean...It could have been a trick of the light or..." I watch him shake his head.

"You were in pain and when you looked up they were green with the glow of Mako...and the pupils were..."

I say nothing. I know Hojo must have seen, that's why he had been so interested.

"The dose of Mako they gave you was nowhere near the dosage given to members of SOLDIER but...it probably still makes you feel sick right?" I nod slightly. "Well, get some rest. We'll get you back on the roster tomorrow which means that Hojo can't touch you again unless you are taken out in battle. That's usually the deal with these guys."

I groan and fall back into the soft, clean sheets. "What have they done to me?" I whisper.

"Just what they did to me...but they never finished. You should be thankful...hardly anyone survives it."

"But...what was that other thing? The J.S.G?"

Zack sighed and scratched his head. "No idea...maybe we should smack the information out of that Hojo guy."

I giggle slightly. "Maybe."

We spoke for a while longer before I was too exhausted to do anything. Zack left me alone and I climbed under the covers. I fell asleep...

_You are just a puppet. You have no heart and cannot feel any pain._

_You are...a remnant..._

_A puppet._

_Give yourself to me...it will be easier than fighting..._

_Come to me...Cloud._

_You belong to me._

_Cloud..._

_Wake up._

I sat up slowly staring at the end of my bed. My hands tightened on the sheets. What had that been about? Weird dream. I yawn and look around, nothing had changed. Except...

I stand up and look at my desk. A letter had been propped against the pot of pens I kept there. Next to the letter was a single black feather, so tiny it could have been the down from a black Chocobo...

I pick it up and frown at it in confusion. After a moment it disintegrated into nothing. Shrugging I pick up the letter and switch on the lamp. The writing on it was neat and fluent. Slowly I tore open the envelope and began reading.

_Meet me in training room B5 this afternoon. I have given notice to your Junior officer and he has given you the day off. Be there. (0100 hrs) Do not be late, Cloud._

_Sephiroth._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Ok, so now were in double figures! In the last chapter some mistakes were brought to my attention! I apologise! I wrote it at a stupid time in the morning and I was exhausted so...thank you AikoNamika for pointing them out! I will just note here that yes, **Privet** is a hedge. I obviously meant **Private**! And also Sephiroth will be meeting cloud in the afternoon at **1300**! Sorry again! I also must point out that I am Dyslexic (For those of you who haven't seen my profile page.) and therefore I struggle with spelling and grammar etc... so any mistakes made during any of my stories are usually down to this. Again I am sorry. Hope you enjoy it all even with the mistakes! XD Love to you all.

Chapter 10.

_What does it mean to be human?_

_What makes a human being?_

_Is it the blood that runs through the body?_

_Is it, perhaps, the brain?_

_Or is it the emotions?_

_Am I still human?_

_Was I ever really human?_

_Questions that maybe I cannot, nor will I ever, be able to answer._

_To question is to doubt and I doubt myself..._

_I doubt whether I am human,_

_I doubt whether I can achieve my goals,_

_I doubt if I will ever be able to face my friends and family ever again._

_I doubt my emotions,_

_I doubt my very soul._

_I don't need pity, I need answers._

Five minutes before one o'clock I stand outside training room B5. It is a state of the art holographic room where people can go to hone their abilities. The holograms are so good they appear solid. Sephiroth waits for me behind the door. I can feel him. My heartbeat speeds up slightly as I press the button on the door so it slides up revealing the room. I step in and look around; a huge green field is spread out before me. Tiny white flowers are scattered across the grass like so many stars in a lush green sky. I take a step further in feeling the grass beneath my boots. A clear blue sky covers the ceiling with barely a cloud in sight. I can even see, in the distance, a few yellow specks where Chocobo's grazed on the grass. I see Sephiroth sat in the grass with his huge sword beside him. I did not know where this was supposed to be.

"Welcome, Cloud. It is good to see you up and about."

I turn to see Sephiroth looking over his shoulder at me. His silver hair glistened in the sunlight and shone from his sword. It really was difficult to tell where I was, even though I knew we were in the training room, it felt as if we were outside in the fresh country air. I felt at home in a place like this. Sephiroth stood.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine, sir." I mutter. "I felt a bit sick earlier...but..." I shrug. I had been planning to ask him why he had allowed the scientists to use me. I had been planning on asking why he was so obsessed with me. I had been planning on asking so many things but now I was stood before him I couldn't bring myself to. I just couldn't ask the questions I was burning to ask.

"That man...Hojo, told me what he had done." Sephiroth said quietly. "You did well to survive."

Is that a compliment? I had no idea what to think so I kept quiet.

He took a step closer and looked at me with narrowed eyes, I saw the curiosity in his gaze. "Well, it does not seem to have affected you at all. Maybe he should have hurried it along and finished his experiments..." He mused as if speaking to himself.

Finally I draw up the courage to speak. "Why?" I ask looking him directly in the eyes. "Why would you just let them take me? Why did you tell them about me?"

I saw him smile. "Because, I wanted to know why you are so difficult to kill and yet have not passed any of the exams."

I clench my hands into fists finally becoming angry. "Why do I interest you so much?" I snap. "I just...don't understand what I have done to deserve your attention! I just want to know...I want to know everything! What did they try to do to me? Why did you take such interest in me? Why am I so weak?" I realise I'm shouting at him. He acknowledges my tone with a small smile.

"Well, well...it seems as if you have grown an attitude when you were unconscious."

"Just answer my questions! I need to know!"

"I cannot tell you...you would be better off asking Hojo what experiments he performed, I too wish to know certain things from that man. However, I can tell you that there is...something in you that I find most...attractive."

"What...what's that supposed to mean?" I feel suddenly uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

"Hmmmm, I wander." He answers with a smirk.

I feel a chill down my spine. "Why did you ask me to come here?"

"I wanted to see you." He said simply. "I wanted to know if you really are different from the others...i wanted to know if you were like me."

I frown. What was he talking about? "D...different like you? What do you mean?"

"I am...strong, stronger than everybody else."

"Yeh...of course you are! You're _The_ Sephiroth! You're a hero!"

"There must be a reason behind it." He seemed to be speaking mostly to himself. "I do not think I am entirely...what I appear."

I say nothing. What can I say? He seemed troubled, distracted. I don't know what he's talking about.

I sigh and slump down on the grass. "Why did you choose to meet me here of all places?" I mutter.

"I was training." He says simply. "Testing my strength against a computer is useless...It is meaningless."

"If you're you, yeh, it would be. I can't do it...I get hurt." I say quietly staring down at a holographic flower. I glare at the flower as if hoping I could set fire to it just by staring. I am angry. I haven't been this angry since Tifa had fallen from the cliff. Suddenly I look up and see Sephiroth staring up at the sky. "Um...Sir, I was wandering if you knew what J.S.G is?"

He turns to me and I see a flicker of emotion across his face. "Where did you hear that?" he say's sharply causing my fear to return.

"It was...written in Professor Hojo's report...they...gave me some of whatever it is...I'm sorry...but, I need to know what it is."

"I...am not entirely sure. It makes me feel like I should know what it is though...It is no use. I am going to find out." I stare at him as he stands and picks up his sword. He levels the blade at me and I stare at it for a moment.

"Wha..." I scramble to my feet and back away, my eyes never leaving the tip of his blade. "S...Sephiroth? What...what are you doing?"

I see him smile. "No, they were unable to finish working on you. You are incomplete. It is not time yet..."

"What are you talking about?" I ask in a slightly quavering voice. My eyes meet his.

"Are you afraid?"

"Who...Who wouldn't be with great big sword pointed at them?" I mutter. Suddenly my back hits something solid.

"We are connected, you and I. Can you not feel it?" The sword is lowered and he takes a step closer to me reaching out with his gloved hand. "You are..."

Pain shoots through my head making me double over and fall to my knees. That strange high pitched ringing, a continuous whine that isn't heard with my ears...behind that is the heart beat. A steady thumping. A drum beat. I cry out from the pain. My head feels as if it is about to be broken open.

I feel leather on my face and my head is lifted. I stare, unwillingly into those eyes. The cat-like pupils as thin as two black lines. I feel his hair brush my face he is so close. The pain is intense but I can't close my eyes. I have to look. Drowning. Drowning in two deep pools of bright green. I clench my hands in my hair as the pain intensifies.

"My..."

His voice seems to be getting further away.

"...Puppet."

I sigh and lose consciousness, welcoming the darkness as it surrounds me like a comforting blanket.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **I got a bit over excited...I had to get another chapter out ASAP! I wanna know what happens! It's so exciting (Is it alright for me to say that? ;) ) Ah...this is not turning out the way I originally planned...It was originally rated for language but now...well...you'll see what I mean... (It's looking a bit like my mind is going to corrupt the story! Sorry...)

Chapter 11

_"Look always to the internal flow of time which is far greater than the span of a human life."_

"_My friend, the fates are cruel  
There are no dreams, no honour remains  
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess"_

"Hey! Oy you! Cadet! Get back up! This is not time for falling over!"

I struggle to my feet at the officer's command. I am tired. Exhausted. Sleeping on the road, battling an ever increasing amount of monsters, and eating nothing but rations for weeks now. It's not good for the body. Everyone is malnourished, irritable and generally sick of fighting. We are bruised, battered and just about defenceless. Currently we are crawling through a mud drenched swamp, the rain is pouring down and we have no more ammunition. Zack and Sephiroth along with two other Second Class SOLDIERS are somewhere ahead of the rest of us scouting the area.

The second mission I have been on has turned into a disaster. Heidigger had heard of some extremely powerful materia hidden in some caves just east of Kalm. It took a long time to get here, monsters kept attacking us. We fought them off easily enough at first but they just got bigger and stronger and now, days later, we are weaker and practically unarmed. We lost radio contact with Midgar yesterday when a giant snake attacked us and ate our radio man, and now we have to find a way back after collecting the materia...without any form of transport. It was going to be long time before any of us saw Midgar again.

Sloshing through the mud and slime we see a figure in the distance. It was Zack, he waved his arms and pointed behind him. He was plastered in mud, as we all were, but he had a big grin on his face. I looked up and saw a huge mountain looming out of the perpetual mists. A cheer went up as we realised we had reached the caves the materia was supposed to be in.

As I reached the edge of the swamp I looked up to see Zack holding out his hand, I grinned and grabbed it so he could drag me from the mud. I fell forward and crashed into the floor with a gasp. I couldn't even move. I lay still gasping desperately, I wasn't embarrassed this time as I wasn't the only one. I rolled on to my back with a groan. Zack slumped down beside me with a sigh. "Why were we sent here? All this just for some materia that might not even exist?" I sigh.

"Yeh, not cool. I would have thought being First Class meant I could avoid stuff like this..." Zack says as he runs hands through his filthy hair. I look over at him. "Sephiroth went into the caves to check things out..."

"I know..." I mutter and close my eyes. My arms were spread to either side of me and I was so close to falling asleep.

"How do you know? You were too far behind to see anything."

"I..." I forced my eyes open. "I just...did..."

Zack frowned. "You know...your beginning to freak me out a little here..."

I groan and sit up, my body protesting every movement. "Look, I just guessed. That's the sort of thing he'd do." I reply, knowing perfectly well that I meant what I had said earlier. I did know where he was. I could now tell where he was the majority of the time and he was on his way back.

"Oh...ok." Zack said. I could tell he didn't believe me.

I sigh and fall back again. "Wake me up when we...have to...move on..." I whisper with a yawn.

After what felt like seconds later I felt a jab in my ribs. "Ow..." I muttered sleepily and rolled over forcing my eyes to open. I see Zack stood with his hands on his knees peering down at me. I sit up and rub my face smearing mud all over it. "Ah...yuck. I can't wait until we can get to a village...or even a river would be nice...somewhere, _anywhere_ I can wash!"

"I think we all need a bath!" Zack said with a laugh. I stand up slowly and look around. The mists have cleared enough to see that we were stood in a small grassy area with a single tree bare of leaves. "Sephiroth has discovered a nice area where we can camp in the caves. He didn't encounter any monsters but that doesn't mean there aren't any...so keep your guard up."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do? I have no weapon. That damn snake ate it."

"Yeh..." Zack stifled his giggle. "Hungry fellow wasn't he?"

"Ugh...Let's just get moving so I can sleep properly."

We entered the caves as a group, Sephiroth was waiting just inside for us. As soon as he saw us he turned and we followed him further in. I looked around to see walls that glowed faintly green, there was definitely materia here.

Great big stalagmites and stalactites hung like jagged teeth, it added to the sensation that I was actually walking into a giant mouth. I shuddered slightly and wrapped an arm around myself tightly. It was cold in the cave, when we had reached our camping spot we had to get a fire lit using the last of the kindling we had collected. The flames barely warmed us. Most of the others huddled together for warmth but I sat on the outskirts with my knees drawn up and stared into the flames as if hypnotised. Zack sat closer to the fire with his back to a wall, his head dropped down onto his chest and he began to nod. His huge sword rested at the wall by his side. Sephiroth sat further away than me, he was half hidden in shadows so that only his silver hair could be seen, the fire had turned it orange on one side and the cave walls green on the other. I watched him carefully from where I sat. I had grown accustomed to his odd glances and half smiles. It was as if he knew something that I didn't. I saw the glow from his eyes, so he was still awake? I shifted slightly and stretched my legs out before me.

His words came back to me, spinning in my mind. I couldn't stop remembering them.

_You are...my puppet._

_We are connected, you and I. Can you not feel it?_

Pointless denying it. I could feel it. Like an irresistible pull...every time his eyes were on me I knew, I could feel his gaze like a burning wire in the back of my mind. Each time he smiled it confirmed his words. I felt flustered and confused when I was around him. My feelings were all mixed up. My mind lost all sense when he was near me. I couldn't think straight! He made me want to run away from him and yet I had to be near him or I'd feel like I couldn't breathe. He hurt my head. Just thinking about him made me want to scream in frustration and yet I couldn't stop. What had he done to me? Why was I like this?

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my knees. He was watching me again. I could feel it. Faintly...that heart beat. I take a slow deep breath to stop the panic rising. I could not lose my head here. I had not had another episode since the day in the training room and I was thankful for it. It hurt.

I had to stop thinking about him. I had to put my mind somewhere else. I looked toward Zack, but he was asleep slowly falling sideways toward his sword. He would wake himself up if he knocked it over. I stood and walked toward him being careful not to stand on anyone. I crouched before my friend and looked into his sleeping face, he had a tiny smile on his lips. I smiled slightly, he was always happy. It seemed as if nothing could get him down. Gently I touched his cheek. "I...envy you..." I muttered under my breath.

"Mmmm...Aer...sss" he murmured in return.

I sighed heavily and turned to his sword. It really was huge, it looked heavy. Its long hilt was covered in red binding and it had very simple decoration. I ran my fingers gently down the hilt before grasping it tightly, I lifted it and nearly fell backward over some of my comrades. Once I had balanced myself I held it up so the eerie green light from the caves Mako infused walls glinted off of the sharp blade. It was lighter than it appeared. I gently lay it on the other side of Zack and sat down so he could lean on my shoulder. I felt his head come down and wiggled slightly until I was as comfortable as I would get before tipping own head back against the wall at my back.

"You looked good with that sword."

I look up to see Sephiroth looking at me. I shrug as best I could with Zack's head where it was. "It belongs to him." I muttered.

"I heard what you said."

I feel myself flush and I look away. "What does it matter to you?"

He laughed quietly.

"It...It's true though...If I could be like him...If I could _become_ him...maybe I would be happy." I put a hand to my head and bite back the tears that threatened. "I...I don't like the way I am...Always, always too weak. Always the one getting laughed at...I just wanted to be stronger! I just wanted people to notice me! I hate this...I hate being alone! I'm tired of it...I'm tired of always telling myself lies so I can just get through a single day...I hate feeling like I'm useless...like I'm a failure."

I hear him move and look up in time to see him crouch before me in much the same way I had with Zack. He put his hand under my chin and raised my head. I saw his smile. I let myself go. I gave into the almost painful allure of his eyes. I let out a small sigh. "Cloud..." he muttered and he moved closer. My mind tried to make my body move away as his face moved toward mine, then Zack grunted. I jumped visibly, the spell broken. I jerked backward and stood suddenly. I felt my face burning as Sephiroth stood.

"Maybe next time, boy." He whispered and walked away.

I put a hand to my lips and watched his retreating back. Zack groaned and sat up with a hand to his mouth as he yawned. I was unable to look Zack in the eyes as he looked up at me, I turned my head away and stared at the floor. "What's up? How long I been asleep for?"

"A few minutes..." I muttered.

"Ugh...Feel like I slept on a lumpy bit of rock..." He turned to the wall behind him. "Oh look...i did."

I slowly slide back down into a sitting position and bring my knees into my chest. Zack looks at me, I can see him from the corner of my eye. I feel his hand on my forehead.

"You got a temperature! Are you sick?"

I shake my head quickly.

"Oh..." Zack frowned before shrugging. "Hang in there, won't be long now before ShinRa realises they can't contact us and sends someone. Hey...Lie down; I wanna use you as a pillow."

"I'm not that comfortable." I whisper.

"You're gunna be more comfortable than the bloody floor. Come on! Please?"

I sigh and lie back with my arms behind my head so I look up into the dark crevices of the cave roof. I feel Zack lie down in my lap and after a little while his breathing slows as he falls back to sleep. I try and sleep but all I can think about was that brief, overly intimate, moment when Sephiroth's lips came so close to mine. I shiver slightly and squeeze my eyes shut. This is so very wrong! I can't stop myself from wandering what it would be like...

I haven't even kissed a girl! The only person I had been curious about was Tifa...and she was my friend.

I spent a few moments listening to the soft breathing of the others, then I felt myself drift. My body gave in to the call of sleep.

_I am almost jealous..._

_You allow him to get so close to you and yet you panic when I am near. _

_Strange child..._

His soft laughter echo's through my sleeping brain. If I could wake up I would, but I am too tired. I can't fight him like this. He's just too strong, he has too much control. I will never be able to release his hold over me. I am his...

_...Puppet. You belong to me and you always will, there is no escaping these bonds Cloud. Give in to me...why fight when you know it's pointless? You are too weak..._

I can't fight him. I know it's useless. I am too weak. If I give in will it really be that bad? If I give in what would he do to me? Why does he look at me with those eyes? I can't fight him...I'm...

_...Weak. Pathetic little remnant, I almost pity you._

_You are just half a person, not even..._

...Human. Am I human? Have they made me into something else? What am i? Who am i? Why am I so confused all the time? I feel like I'm missing something very important like I'm not quite real...not quite...

_...Whole...You cannot be whole without me. You belong to me. I will have you. Give me time and I will..._

...Take it away! I don't want to feel like this anymore! Help me! Please...I'm...

_...Drowning? You need me. I can give you what you desire, I can make you mine. In time you will become my puppet, that I can mould and train to obey my every..._

...Command. Will I give in? It seems to be the easiest way...I could just slip away...I could lose myself in those eyes and no longer have to think. I could become his and he would own me, body heart and...

_...Soul? You don't have one. Not one that is entirely yours. _

_Wake up, Cloud._

My eyes spring open and I find myself staring up at the roof of the cave. My hands hurt from where they had been crushed beneath my head. I groan and lift my arms above my head with a yawn. Zack moans and rolls off of my lap before heaving himself up onto his arms and rubbing his eyes. My head aches slightly and my mind feels as if it's stiffed with fluff, thinking is becoming difficult. I lean back and let out a small breath. I feel like I've been hit by a train. "Is there any food left?" I mutter softly.

"No..." Zack replies.

"Water?"

"Only what's in the cave but that will have to be avoided, it's probably been contaminated by the Mako."

"Yeh...I guess..." I sit up slowly before dragging myself to my feet. I feel so heavy. I see others slowly stirring, one man who is covered in emergency bandages doesn't. I kneel at his side and put my fingers to his neck. Zack looks at me questioningly. I look up and shake my head. "The wounds were poisoned and probably infected in the swamp...poor guy." I mutter. Death no longer scares me, after this journey I have seen enough of it to understand. What I fear...is being alone. I fear becoming a failure.

I put his arm over his chest and see his friend kneel by his side and lower his head, I stand and walk away. Zack puts his hand on my shoulder and looks down at me. "You look pale..." he mutters while resting his hand gently on my forehead. "And your temperature is up."

"Trust me, I'm fine. You know I can handle having a fever."

"Ordinarily I wouldn't be worried. But in this situation it's not gunna be possible to treat you, we lost any material we had to those thieves a few weeks ago. We don't have the power to heal you, please be careful."

I put on my best smile. "I will be fine Zack, I promise."

He pats my head and wanders away to check on the other injured. I stand still a moment watching the activity as people begin to get organised for the last leg of the journey before returning home. I feel suddenly sad. Many wouldn't get to see their homes again. Many would die on the return. I sigh and lower my head. What a useless waste of life. These people had so much to give...unlike me, they had friends who would, miss them and families.

"Cloud..."

I turn to see Sephiroth stood near me. I take a step back automatically. "Y...yes, sir?" I mutter. His face is neutral as if nothing had nearly happened the night before. I feel suddenly awkward as if I had dreamt it all. I look away.

"We move out in a minute, help pack away and stop standing around." He walked away leaving me to jump into action. His orders are absolute, I cannot disobey.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Another chapter in the bag! I have downloaded the FF7 original soundtrack! Ah! So nostalgic! I wanna play it again but I don't have my PS2 at uni...Oh well, I guess I have to wait till the Easter holidays! It's a pretty good album to listen to while I'm writing...it gets me in mood! I also got Crisis Core album and Advent Children! Oh, and I now have the blu-ray edition of Advent children...all I can say is...if you haven't seen it go and buy it! NOW! They added extra scenes and a little side story! And they improved the Cloud/Sephiroth fight! I can hear you all saying "Nah! It can't be improved!" But I reply "Oh...trust me it can!" Watch it! If you are a devoted fan then you will love it! (sorry about the long A/N! I just had to let you know about things!) Enjoy and review! Love ya!

Chapter 12

_"The knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients is held in the materia. Anyone with this knowledge can freely use the powers of the land and the Planet. That knowledge interacts between ourselves and the Planet, calling up magic."_

We trudge through the cave, no one speaks...we are all too tired. The only light we have to guide us comes from the glowing green walls. Suddenly Sephiroth stops, making me come to an abrupt halt to stop myself from walking into him. I peer around him and see what looks like a huge glowing lake. I stare in fascination; in the centre is a tall rock like a finger pointing at the ceiling. On top of that rock was a large ball of glowing Mako, I knew that this was the materia. This was what we had been sent here for. Sephiroth moves toward the shore of the lake and crouches down beside it. Now we have to find a way across so we can get hold of it.

"What type of materia is that?" I mutter to Zack.

"It's green...but we can't be sure if its healing or attack..." He muttered.

"It is a battle type. You can tell because of the way it shines and...they would not send us here to collect healing materia." Sephiroth said as he stood with the creak of leather. "We have to cross this lake."

"How?" Zack asks.

Sephiroth answers his question by stabbing his sword into the ground and then taking a step back, he ran and leapt into the air landing on one knee directly on the small island.

"Well, that's one way to do it I 'spose." Zack muttered.

I watch Sephiroth reach out a hand and grasp the perfect ball of pure energy. He looked at it carefully with frown. "I do not recognise it..." He muttered.

Sephiroth tightens his grip on the ball before turning back to us, he takes a running jump and lands just as perfectly back on the ground. Everyone crowds around to have a closer look. I stare into the centre of it and can see tiny flashes of colour in the very centre. "It's so pretty..." I mutter.

"But...what does it do? Do you reckon we could try it out without them knowing?" Zack asks.

"That would be suicide. What if it is a power we cannot control? No, we will fulfil this mission and take it back to headquarters for Heidigger. Now come, we must be going. We need to find somewhere we can contact ShinRa." Sephiroth said.

We began to follow him back out of the caves, all of us glad to be returning. I feel a sudden chill down my spine and spin around. The tunnel stretches behind me and I can see the distant glow of the lake.

"Cloud? What's wrong?"

I back away slowly my eyes on the huge shadow slowly plodding toward me. I could hear the thump of its feet followed by a definite dragging noise. As it came closer I saw that it was tall with a pink hide and was dragging a steel ball on a chain. It had no neck and two tiny black eyes that peered mindlessly at us. I hear Zack's sigh as he pushes me to the side, out of the things path.

"One blow and you're a goner, you pink freak!" He said.

It stopped just before him and he tore his sword from his back. The monster lifted the chain and began swinging the ball around its head forcing me to duck and back off behind Zack. Sephiroth stood still with his arms folded and his sword in the ground beside him.

He looked at me, "This is a waste of my time. I'll let him deal with it."

Zack laughed. "Cheers, I need to take my boredom out on something! Let's go!"

I sigh and sit on the floor to watch. It wouldn't last long, Zack was too strong for it.

Zack raised his sword high above his head as energy consumed his body and ran up the length of his sword. Then he brought it down with a cry. Waves of energy crashed toward the monster and hit it, it was torn to shreds in seconds...but the energy smashed into the walls. The cave began to rumble shaking everyone so they had to grab things for support. Zack turned to us, "Whoops...Looks like it was overkill..."

"Ya'think?" I mutter as I try to stand only to be thrown off balance and into a wall. We hear a sudden scream as the ceiling collapses around us. The floor begins to crack under my feet and I jump back away from them. To my right another infantry man is not so quick, the ground collapses down and I watch him slip. I dive forward and grab his wrist tightly. The ground beneath me gives way too and I fall only just managing to grab hold of the lip of the cliff with my free hand. I tighten my fingers on the man's wrist. The shaking comes to a stop. I keep myself still concentrating with all my might on keeping a hold of my burden. I will not let him fall. I see Zack's head appear over the ridge.

"Hang on Cloud!"

"I am!" I shout back angrily. "Just...help...me...up!" My arm feels as if it's going tear off. I grit my teeth with the effort of holding my own weight as well as my comrades. I feel a hand on mine and look up.

"Let go!" Zack calls. "Let go and I'll drag you both up!"

I stare at him. "Are you insane?"

"Trust me! I won't let you fall!"

I look down and see a huge drop beneath my dangling feet and far below that...a faint greenish glow. It fades in and out as I stare. "Lifestream..." I whisper finding myself mesmerised by it. Then leather clad fingers grip my own and I look up again. If I fall now...It doesn't even bare thinking about. I nod to Zack and release my hold. The man screams and we fall a little way then come to a jolting stop. Pain lances through my shoulder forcing a cry from lips but I know Zack has hold of me. My fingers slip on the man's wrist. I look up. "Zack...pull us up! Quickly...I can't hold on much...Longer!"

"Okay...Pull!" Zack cries. And I feel myself pulled slowly up the cliff. Finally manage to claw my way onto solid ground dragging the man up with me. I throw myself onto the ground and pant heavily. My whole body shaking with exertion, I look up into Zack's smiling face. He holds out his hand and I take it and let him drag me to my feet. "I'm sorry..." He mutters as he pulls me into a hug. "I went over bored and nearly got you killed."

"Don't worry about it..." I reply as I pull away. "It's fine now."

"Um...excuse me...I'd like to thank you...for saving my life."

I turn to see the infantry man stood holding his hand out looking embarrassed. I smile. "It was nothing...just a spur of the moment thing...don't worry so much about it."

"Still..." The man smiles. "Thanks anyway."

While everyone gathers to be counted by Sephiroth I walk to the edge of the cliff and kneel down so I can look down into the depths of the giant crack. I could see it. Far, far below me...swirling green energy. The rock must have been just about ready to fall apart even before Zack's misplaced attack. I had no idea that the lifestream came so close to the surface! It was fascinating to watch. The pure life blood of the very earth herself. Suddenly a large wave of it came rushing up toward me, I fall back as it erupted like a volcano. Everyone turned to stare as it fell back down again leaving behind tiny white sparkles that floated like snow to disappear into nothing. There were a few appreciative gasps and sighs from the others as I heaved myself back onto my feet. Sephiroth joined me by the lip of the cliff, he stared down at it as if hypnotised. Then he turned away abruptly and retrieved his sword.

"We need to leave before anymore collapses." He said and began leading us back through the cave.

**END NOTE: **One last tiny thing: I am currently working on a special Fic for Valentine's day for you all! I'll upload it the night before the 14th! It is my gift to you, my loyal readers! So, keep an eye out!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** OMFG! Um...Not exactly sure what happened here...I really need to give a warning for this chapter...It's not very nice. So, WARNING: a little bit of Yaoi...(I will give advanced Warning for each chapter that has dirty bits, and knowing me it will only get worse.). So, if you don't like your welcome to skip the last few paragraphs of the chapter (It happens when Cloud wakes up in the middle of the night, kay?). Ok...So I'm really sorry...I have a sick and perverted mind. Please don't let this put you off reading it! Don't hate me! And review please! I like reviews! Please enjoy.

Chapter 13

"_The infinite mystery  
The gift of the goddess is what the three men seek  
We are disquieted by our actions  
But their fates are scattered by war_

_One becomes a hero, one wanders the land  
And the last is taken prisoner_

_But the three are still bound by a solemn oath  
To seek the answer, once again"_

Once we were back outside we heard a crash. Everyone turned and peered back into the cave, the tunnel we had used to get to the Mako pool had been covered by an avalanche. I turned away and looked up at the sky. I could hear a distant sound, a noise like a helicopter. Everyone began to look up and I heard cries of joy as the helicopter landed, blowing the swamp water into the air and forcing me to cover my face with my arms. After a moment the engines were cut. The door opened and several well dressed Turks jumped out. Tseng was among them, he came over to Sephiroth holding a box.

"The materia, did you manage to retrieve it?"

"I did..." he held out his hand, the materia sat in his palm glowing faintly.

Zack interrupted suddenly. "What does it do? Why does Heidigger want it badly enough to send SOLDIER's to go get it?"

"That, is none of your concern. Just shut up and follow orders like a good dog and stop asking questions." Tseng hissed irritably.

"Calm down, don't get your pink panties in a twist. So long as I get a ride back I don't care. I'm too tired..."

"Show some respect, kid!" Another Turk said sharply. "This is the boss you're talking to!"

"Che..." Zack turned his back on the man. "Fucking Turks...useless, wimpy gits."

"What did you say?" The Turk snapped.

"You heard me!"

"You looking for fight? Bastard!"

Zack turned around, his hands clenched. "Yeh...maybe I am!"

"Zack! Control your temper." Sephiroth said sharply.

Zack turned to Sephiroth, "Why? They treat us like dogs! Why shouldn't we bite back?"

"Because I want to get back. If you prevent that from happening I will not hesitate to run you through!" I saw Sephiroth's hand tighten on his sword and I stepped forward dragging Zack back by the shoulder.

"Look, were all tired Zack. Just deal with it and if you have any complaints go through the right channels."

Zack huffed angrily but backed down. Finally we managed to get on the helicopter without any further incidents. I slumped down in a corner and leaned back. I was too tired to even feel sick as we took to the skies. I felt myself begin to fall asleep...

"Hey...When we get back to Midgar...if we have leave you wanna go out?"

Zack's voice snapped me back awake. "Mmmm...alright..." I mumble. "Where?"

"Oh...I have a place in mind." I look at him and see his grin. "Hey, you wanna use my lap?"

"Hmmm." I fall into his lap and drift off into a deep, undisturbed sleep.

When we finally returned I was fully awake, I was looking forward to a nice hot bath and then some more sleep. As we stepped out of the helicopter I stretch and yawn. Suddenly we hear an annoyingly familiar laugh...

"Gyahahaha!"

"Shit..." Zack mutters and we all line up snapping a salute as Heidigger rounds a corner.

He walked up and down the line laughing before stopping before Tseng and taking the box, he lifted the lid and peeked inside. "Excellent! Well done..." He handed the box to his secretary without looking at him and continued pacing up and down before us. "Well now...I am pleased with you all so in return for this very interesting gift I shall give you all a weekend off, with the presidents regards of course."

We salute again as one as he leaves. Then we relax and begin slowly drifting back to our respective barracks. Zack walks back with me with his arms behind his head. "So, tomorrow then...do you still wanna go?"

"Sure, why not. So long as I can shower and sleep..."

"As much as I hate that Heidigger bastard I'm kinda grateful he let us have a few days off...I am exhausted!" He yawned as if to prove a point.

"Yeh...I think we all are..." I mutter. We stop outside my room, I open the door. "Hey...Thanks for saving me back there...If you hadn't have grabbed me I wouldn't have made it. So...yeh...Thanks."

I spoke with my back to him and I feel his head suddenly rest on the top of mine. "Don't thank me. I'm your friend...that's what friends do right? You'd do the same for me..."

"Of course!" I said as I felt him lift his head and ruffle my hair.

"Good good. I know I'm in safe hands then...so, until later, kid."

I turn and watch him walk away. I smile. I feel happy. Zack is always so kind to me and I am glad I have a friend I can trust with my life...I just have to make sure I'm strong enough to repay the favour.

If ever his life is in danger I would risk my own to protect him.

I had a long shower scrubbing my body thoroughly making sure I was extra clean, it was an exquisite feeling after all that mud and filth. After my shower I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist while I picked up some letters that had been delivered to my room while I had been away. "Five letters..." I mutter inspecting the handwriting as I sat on my bed. I opened one that had been written in elegant script, tiny hearts dotted the I's of the address. "Tifa..." I whisper to the empty room smiling. I read it quickly;

_Cloud,_

_I haven't heard from you at all since you left. It's been a year. When are you going to come home? When are you going visit? I have only been able to know you're still alive from your mother...and even she's worried that you will never return! Please, Cloud...I miss you so much. Can you at least write me a letter? I know that you're probably working hard and are really busy but you have time to write a quick note just to say hi to an old friend...surely?_

_I've never forgotten the stars. I hope you haven't either._

_Please write back._

_Tifa._

I read it several times over before crumpling it in my hand. She couldn't know. Not now, not ever. I had made a promise and I had every intention of keeping it...but...

I shook my head and opened the other's. My mother had written to me but she didn't seem to expect a letter back. There had been problems in the mountains, people had been disappearing. But, that didn't unduly bother me as people disappeared there regularly. As far as I was concerned it was stupid to go through them, anything could happen. The others were much the same.

_Why won't you reply?_

_Are you still alive?_

_We miss you please come home!_

I sigh and shove them into a draw with all the other letters I had received. I threw myself back on my bed and wrapped myself in the sheets. I wanted to sleep now. I wanted to just drift away from the terrible feelings of guilt and pain.

It happened in the middle of the night. I woke up and sat up slowly in bed. My mind was full of one thought and I couldn't get rid of it. I _had_ to see him. I couldn't stop my limbs from moving. I dressed myself quickly and left my room. My feet took me down the long corridor and out into the cold air. This was ridiculous! Why was my body suddenly acting on its own? I had only a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms on and no coat, I began to shiver violently. After a few moments of walking in the dark I came upon a huge building. The Dorm's for First Class SOLDIERS. It was in much better condition than my own building. My hand reached for the key pad and I typed in a number. It worked, the door opened. How did I know the key code for this building? Why couldn't I stop myself from stepping over the threshold? It was no good. My body was doing its own thing. I walked quietly down the corridor passing rooms on both sides. Finally my feet stopped and I found myself stood outside a door with a name printed on the front.

SEPHIROTH

I shuddered as it slid open. I stepped in and the door closed behind me. The room was spacious, the walls white and immaculate. I was stood in what appeared to be a small living room including a sofa and Television. First Class had it good. I stepped toward another door to my left, my hand reached out of its own accord and I pushed it in ward. The bedroom was revealed. A small square room with a single bed and a wardrobe, a desk nestled in one corner and a chest of draws in another. I saw Sephiroth lying on his bed with his hands behind his head and his legs crossed. He watched me with a small smile.

"You came." He muttered. "I wasn't sure if it would work."

I couldn't speak. I still had no control over my body. His eyes scanned me quickly and his smile widened a tiny bit. The room was immaculate. A proper military room: Sparse, ordered and neat. Not a speck of dust was in sight. I watched as he sat up and beckoned me forward. I went to his side obediently. He moved so that his feet were on the floor and looked at me. Our faces were just about level like this and I could not tear my eyes away from his. I felt his hand grab my jaw almost painfully and drag my head toward his. I cried out in my mind. Trapped in my own body as his lips met mine. I tried desperately to regain control...to pull away, but his hold on me was too strong. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and my eyes closed. Finally he pulled away. I was slightly breathless...why was he doing this? How far would he go just to fuck with my head?

"Hmmm, you can try to fight it but it is pointless. I have told you before that you belong to me."

His hand caressed my cheek. I wanted to ask him why! I wanted to get away from him! But I was just too weak to gain control of myself.

"Ah...poor little puppet...confused and trying to fight the inevitable. You know what happens now, boy..."

NO! I felt my cheeks heat as he kissed me again. When he pulled away he was frowning. "You could at least do your master the courtesy of responding." He muttered and grabbed a handful of my hair dragging my head back painfully. I couldn't even cry out. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "This deserves punishment."

He stood and dragged me over to a wall where he released me. "Put your hands against the wall and spread your legs." He commanded. No choice but to obey. My body is no longer my own. He pulled my trousers down to my ankles, the chill air in the room made me shiver. I felt his breath on the back of my neck and shuddered. "Ah...It appears you enjoy being ordered around..." He laughed softly into my ear. I stare blankly at the wall. I'm afraid. I know what's coming but...I'm terrified. I don't want this...do i? No. I don't, it's wrong! Not only is he my hero...but he's also my superior...if word got out about this we would both lose our jobs.

I felt his hand slip around my stomach and gently take my erection. I gasped. I could make sound. But I couldn't speak. Instead I screamed in my head.

_Let me go! Let me go! I don't want to do this! Please..._

I realise, randomly, he is still wearing his gloves. His hand squeezes tighter forcing a moan from my lips. I feel his other hand in my hair and he pulls my head back violently. "N...nnng..." I moan as he speeds up. My body shudders. I can't help myself. It feels good. I close my eyes and begin thrusting into his hand. I am lost now. The pleasure sends shivers up my spine and my breathing is heavy in my ears. The heat is too intense.

_No...Please stop...I can't take it anymore! Please..._

His scent overwhelms me: Leather and blood. I feel his hair tickling my burning skin. He whispers in my ear; "Let me hear your voice..."

So I let my moans escape. Slowly I can feel a pressure building. I'm so close...

"Ha...Nnnn...S...Sephi...roth..." I mutter squeezing my eyes shut as the pleasure blanks out all thought. I came; the pleasure was so great it was almost painful.

Afterward he released me and turned me around. My t-shirt is damp and the wall is now dirty. I stare up into his eyes. "Now...look what you've done. You seem to have made a mess of my wall...Clean it up."

He forced me to my knees before the wall. What was he trying to make me do...? He pushed my face toward it. "Clean it up with your tongue."

I have to obey. It's the only thing I can do. Salty. The taste nearly makes me gag, but I can't stop until he say's so.

After a moment he drags me to my feet and turns me to face him. His lips meet mine once again. I moan against his mouth. My body begins shaking uncontrollably. After a long, intense moment he pulled away and released me. I stumble forward slightly as I suddenly regain control of myself. I gasp and fall to my knees.

"You can leave now." He muttered and I looked up into his eyes. I struggled to my feet feeling disgusted with myself. My face must be bright red as I pull up my trousers and tighten the cord. I put a hand over my eyes and wrap an arm tightly around myself. "Why?" I choke out as I feel the tears begin. I wipe them away with the heel of my hand.

"I wanted to see if I could control you completely...I want you to only think of me." He moved toward me and grabbed my hair pulling my head back so I looked up at him. "Remember Cloud...You are mine. You will always be mine." He ran his thumb over my lower lip and smiled before releasing me. "Go, I'm sure you will be needing plenty of sleep."

I stumble form his room with tears running down my cheeks. My head was in turmoil. Why had he done that? Why treat me like a slave? I felt dirty, degraded. I felt used. But most of all...I felt betrayed. He was my hero...I worshipped him. I would have done anything for him...he had only to ask.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** A bit of cheer for you! Ok, so this is a funny chapter I thought I'd write to break the depression a bit. Hope you enjoy! Keep Reviewing! And don't forget that you all rule! XD

Chapter 14

_If this is all a dream, don't wake me up._

The next day I woke at dawn. I lay still, wrapped in my duvet staring out at my semi dark room. I had had dreams again...dark dream's full of silver hair and glowing eyes. I sat up slowly and sighed. The memory of what had happened in Sephiroth's room still too vivid. I could still taste him. I shuddered and wrapped my arms around myself and lowered my head. It hurt too much to think about him. My eyes stung and I wiped the tears away stifling a sob. He had betrayed me. I was little more than a toy. He was just using me to see how far he could take things. But worse than that was the terrible feelings his actions had stirred within me. I knew I shouldn't be feeling like this but he made me consider doing things that had never even crossed my mind before. I wanted him. I wanted him to control me. I wanted him to touch me...

I shook my head quickly. I had to stop thinking like this. It was just going to make things worse if I did. After a moment I stood and rummaged through my wardrobe for some casual clothes, I had the weekend off and Zack was going to take me out. I find a plain white t-shirt that's a little too big for me and a pair of black trousers. I fold them and put them neatly on my bed before stripping and throwing my pyjamas into the wash. I can't face looking at them. Then I take a long warm shower making sure I attempt to scrub every inch of myself to get rid of the memories of his hands. Once finished I dry myself off and dress. I turn to a full length mirror in the corner of my room and stare at my reflection for a long time. I press my hand against the cold surface. It hurts...the pain is a dull throbbing in my chest. I no longer recognise the person staring back at me. I am looking into a strangers eyes. I can see the vague glow that the Mako had given them, it wasn't as much as Zack's but it was there. Blond hair falls into my eyes and I brush it away absently. I have lost weight. I am skinny, the baggy t-shirt doesn't help with that. I sigh knowing Zack would worry unnecessarily if he noticed me losing weight.

Finally I turn away and sit on the floor with my knees drawn up to my chest and my head lowered. What would Zack say if he ever found out Sephiroth could control me like he did? What would he do? I shake my head, he could never find out. This was between me and him.

A long while later I hear a knock on my door, it is opened by Zack. He leaned against the door frame with a smile. "You ready to spend the day with me?"

I look up from where I'm sat on the floor. "Yeh...just give me a moment." I stand and grab my jacket, the only one I own is my blue military one. I sling it over my shoulders and follow Zack from the room. As we walk I have to jog slightly to catch up with him. "Hey, Zack...Where are we going?"

"Sector seven." He says.

"Ugh...really? You're kidding? The slums are sleazy!"

"Hey! I know people in the slums!" he looks back at me. "No worries, I know some good places we can hang out."

I looked at him unconvinced. "Right...I 'spose I have no choice but to trust you on this." I say with a sigh.

We got the train to the Sector seven Slums. He took me to place full of shops and bright neon lights, the people were poor and destitute looking. "Where are we?" I ask as we walk past a food shop.

"It's called Wall Market." Zack replied grinning happily. "It's a bit dodgy but a good place to have fun." He grabbed my arm and dragged me through the narrow streets. We went down a dingy side ally and I heard voices draw closer. He stopped and I looked up at a building with two security guards stood outside. Zack walked up to the doors.

"Sorry, you can't come in unless accompanied by a girl." One of them said putting his arm out.

"What? I've been in here before!"

"Sorry, new management, new rules."

"Shit..." Zack turned to me and stared for a moment. "Hmmmm..." he hummed thoughtfully. "Cloud...follow me." He jumped down and dragged me away. We walked back to the main square and stopped outside a shop. I looked up at it.

"That's...a girl's clothes shop." I say feeling dread in the pit of my stomach.

Zack turned to me with an evil grin. "Your cute...You'd make a nice looking girl."

I take step back shaking my head. "No way! I am not cross dressing! No."

"Please?" He asked. "Come on! Just do this one tiny favour! For me?"

Before I could reply he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the shop.

The dress maker looked up as we entered. "Welcome." He said and stood. "What can I do for you?"

"Well...My friend here wants to buy a dress." Zack said.

My face heats up as the man looks at me. "Um...Ok...I don't normally do this kind of thing but...we'll see what we've got."

Zack waited outside the dressing room while I tried on several dresses. Somehow they fitted me. I came out and got sent back several times until Zack went to the rails himself and picked out a dark grey dress made of satin and cotton. It was pretty with a few frills here and there but I felt stupid. I was not a Barbie doll. But Zack had other ideas and I couldn't stop him. After all, he did save my life, dressing up for him was a tiny repayment for that.

I change into the dress having difficulty working out how to get it on. Finally I manage and turn to the mirror behind me. What I see scares the hell out of me. I look like a girl. With no chest and no hips but a girl none the less. I cringe slightly. Zack opens the curtain and looks me up and down, he smiles before bursting out into laughter. "You...You suite that dress!" He giggled. I shot him a filthy look.

"Well...maybe you need something else...a wig?"

"Look...do we have to do this? It's kinda degrading..." I mutter.

"But you look so cute!" Zack turns to the proprietor, "Hey, mister...you got any wigs floating around?"

"Actually I do..." the man mutters and wanders off.

He came back a while later and handed me a pair of heeled shoes and a wig that matched my natural hair colour perfectly. I sigh. "Really...this is low. I don't think I can get any lower."

"Cheer up! No one is gunna recognise you in that."

Once I'm ready I put the wig on my head; the hair curls down my shoulders in two pigtails tied with ribbons that match the dress. I look at myself in the mirror one last time. Miss Cloud stares back. Oh...god. I am never going to forgive him for this.

Once done we pay to rent the costume and leave. Zack turns to me. "You're walking like a man."

"That's because I am a man!" I hiss.

"Walk from the hips. That's how girls do it...I know these things."

I do as he asked with a frown. "Better?"

"Much...You know...If I didn't know you were a guy...i would..."

"Touch me and I will rip it off."

He laughs and makes me take his arm as we return to the club. The body guards let us through and I can feel their gazes on my back as I pass. I sigh heavily. "Zack...don't leave my side..."

"Don't worry so much...I won't go anywhere."

The club is packed and full of men and women dancing, sitting around and drinking heavily. Music plays in the background and a waiter walks up to our table. Zack orders us both drinks. I can't speak at least my voice is deep, but it would give away that I was not what I appeared. The waiter returned with our drinks and I feel his eyes on me. I look away feeling my cheeks flush. He leans over to Zack.

"Hey, cute girl...interested in sharing?"

Zack nearly chokes on his drink. "No...I really don't think that's a good idea...She's feisty."

I kick him under the table and smile sweetly at the waiter. He smiles back and leaves. "You know...this is the most embarrassing thing I've ever done."

"It can't be that bad! I mean...you did face plant the floor in front of Sephiroth, I doubt you can say that dressing as a girl is quite that embarrassing."

"I will kill you." I mutter under my breath. "When I get a chance...when you're sleeping and least suspecting it I will gut you like a fish."

"Well, I'll have to sleep with one eye open then." Zack downs his drink and I sip mine delicately, may as well stay in character.

Time passed and I felt uncomfortable with everyone staring at me. I shifted slightly and glared down at the table. "Make them stop looking at me!" I whisper. "It's making me uncomfortable."

Zack giggles and puts his arm around my shoulders pulling me to his side possessively. "Better?"

"Now they're giving you nasty looks."

"I'm used to it."

Slowly the alcohol made me relax and I became more confident. The stares no longer bothered me and I laughed and chatted with Zack...i was actually enjoying myself. Suddenly Zack stands. "Gotta go take a leak." He mutters and moves away. I reach for his shirt sleeve.

"Don't leave me here!" I say in a panicked whisper. "They'll move in like wolves! Please..."

"Well, you can't come with me dressed like that!"

"Oh...fine...but hurry!"

He grinned and left. I sat still with both hands around my glass staring into it determinedly. If I make eye contact with anyone they may take that as a come on. Suddenly I feel someone sit beside me I look up at a man in a blue suite and bright red hair in a pony tail. I stare at him with widened eyes. Shit. A Turk. I am doomed.

"Hey babes, you look lonely...want some company."

I hiss air through my teeth in panic. Then cough and put on a smile. "Oh...no, I'm um...just waiting for my friend..." I make my voice go up an octave. It hurts.

"Shame...I bet your friend doesn't make as much of an exciting date as I do...come on sweet cheeks...let me buy you a drink."

"No...no...I'm fine..." I say indicating the glass. "Thank you..."

He sighed and put his arm around my shoulders. "You're playing hard to get! I like it...names Reno, what's yours?"

Why wasn't he going away? I couldn't get rid of him! I look away feeling my face flush. "Um...My names...Cl...Claudia..." I mutter. How can I get rid of him?

"Pretty..."

I feel his hand on my face as he turns my head. His face is very close. "Ha..." I laugh nervously. "I'm sorry...but really, you're not type..."

His hand creeps up my leg shifting the dress up. "Don't say that...I can be anything you want me to be..." I lean back away from him as far as the sofa allows. Before I know it his lips are pressed to mine, I struggle desperately. Then a hand descends on his shoulder and he's yanked away. Zack stands above him. "You know...You're probably going to regret that..." He says with an evil grin, he leans down and whispers in Reno's ear. "That person you just kissed...is a guy."

"Ugh...Y...You're kidding? Surely..." He looks at me and I pull down the top of the dress revealing my chest. His eyes go wide and he covers his mouth standing quickly and running to the toilettes. I sigh and pull my dress up quickly.

"I hate you." I mutter.

"Hey...was that your first kiss?" he says with a laugh as he sat down.

I turn away unable to hide my blush. "No..." I mutter.

I feel his eyes on me. "So...you kiss that Tifa girl?"

I shake my head still not meeting his eyes. "It...It doesn't matter who it was...let's just enjoy the rest of the evening..."

"Oooh, mysterious!" He laughs. I shake my head and down my drink.

I let my eyes wander the room casually when I spot a flash of silver. I blink a few times. Was that my imagination? I see it again by the bar. I feel Zack sit up suddenly alert. He stares in the same direction as me. "Was that...Sephiroth?" he mutters.

I feel a horrible squiring sensation in my stomach. If it was, I hope he doesn't know we're here.

Suddenly the crowds part muttering. Sephiroth walks toward us with a small smile. He is wearing a white shirt and black trousers. I stare at him gaping stupidly. His long hair is tied back in a long pony tail that trails down his back. "Well, well...if it isn't Zack and..." his eyes meet mine and look away feeling mortified. "His date?"

"Sephiroth! What are you doing here? I never would have taken you for a drinker...or someone who even leaves the ShinRa building...!"

He laughs and sits beside me. I move closer to Zack on impulse. "Just because I am SOLDIER First Class and a hero...does that mean I cannot enjoy myself?"

"No...It's just strange to see you wearing...clothes that aren't leather...I guess."

"Well, I do have other clothes. I am not averse to going out once in a while...Are you not going to introduce me to your woman?"

Zack laughs, "Yeh...sorry...Um...this is..."

I take a deep breath, he doesn't recognise you...he doesn't know. I look up at him with a shy smile. "My name is Claudia." I say using the name I had invented for the Turk.

I see his smile widen. "Interesting name, Cloud."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Zack looks from me to Sephiroth with widened eyes. "You knew?"

"Of course. How could I not recognise that glow...no ordinary woman would have it. So, you enjoy dressing as a girl in your spare time?"

I shake my head quickly unable to look at him. "It...It's Zack's idea...I..."

"Oh...so Zack wanted to dress you like a girl? You have strange tastes..."

Zack flushes slightly and rubs the back of his head. "It was the only way to get in...I'm not as famous as you..."

Sephiroth laughed quietly. "Don't worry, I won't say a word to anyone. People's personal lives are their own...Well...i will leave you two alone so you may carry on with your...date."

He stood and left. I sink low in the seat. "Just...kill me. Kill me now...so I won't have to go back and face him again."

Zack Laughed again. "Don't worry...he now thinks I'm gay and kinky."

"Yeh...but..." I sigh. I wanted a hole to open and swallow me. This night was a disaster. I would never live this down.

**END NOTE:** I know the cross dressing thing happens in the game and yes, Sephy may be a little out of character there but...i thought it'd be interesting to see him wearing something other than leather for a change! And going out for a bit of R&R...he needed it after molesting Cloud! Must be tiring being Sadistic! Hehe...Hope you enjoyed! (Btw...Sephy is actually a bit more relaxed in Crisis Core...I have just watched all the cut scenes and reminded myself that he was actually a kinda alright guy till Genesis came along and told him all that crap. So yeh...I don't think he's that much out of character here.)


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Another chapter! Woo! I never realised how popular this would be, thank you all so much for your reviews! Keep them coming! Make me a very happy author! So...in this one you may get to discover the meaning to JSG! Oooh! Exciting! Enjoy...Love to you all!

Chapter 15

_"So what if I'm a puppet...?__  
__Once upon a time...__  
__...you were too!"_

After a while we left the club. Once outside I took a deep breath, it had been too hot in there. Zack took my arm and pulled me gently through the streets. We reached a children's play park. Zack climbed up onto the top of a slide, I tried to follow but I slipped and had to take my shoes off. Once I was sat beside him I lean back and look up. Above me is the plate, just a section of metal. "Shame you can't see the sky from here." I mutter softly.

"Yeh...I know someone who said that...the sky scared her." His voice was low and musing. "I couldn't understand it at first but maybe...i can now."

"What do you mean?"

"It's huge. The sky, I mean. If you look up for too long you may lose yourself in the blue...At night the stars..."

"Make you feel tiny." I whisper.

"Yeh...Exactly." he turns to me with a smile. "You know you are very cute..."

I flinch slightly and wrap my arms about myself. "Don't. I'm a guy..."

"Ha...I'm only teasing. That Turk did agree though...how was it?"

"How was what?"

"The kiss. What did it feel like to have a guy kiss you?"

I pause. My mind drifts back to Sephiroth. His lips had been soft and demanding...i feel a thrill race through my body almost making me gasp. "It was...awful." I mutter to Zack.

"Really? Hmmm, not that I'm interested in guy's mind...but some people are. I have a girl...or I hope I do..."

"You mean the flower girl?"

"Yeh...she's...strange...but She's pretty and funny." He ran a hand through his hair with a soft smile. "She's a pacifist though..." He laughed.

"Not a good match then Mr. SOLDIER First Class." I say softly. I sit up on my knees and lean closer to him. "Maybe you need a girl like me...Someone who can understand your violent nature..." I make my voice low and sweet sounding. "After all...you're not just going to make me go on a date with you and leave me hanging?" I smirk at his uncomfortable expression and crawl closer pushing him back onto the hard surface. My hands rest on either side of his head. I realise I am very drunk.

"Cloud...what are you...?" He puts a hand on my chest and gently pushes me away.

"Oh...you're so mean! You take me out, treat me and then throw me away like garbage! You womaniser, you!" I flick my hair over my shoulder and turn my back on him. "I really thought we had something there...but no...this other girl must be more important to you than me!" I make my voice as dramatic as possible. Suddenly his arms close about my waist and hold me, I can feel his head on my back.

"No...You are just as important as each other..." he says with a laugh. "You almost had me going there...was this revenge?"

"Yes. But don't think that this ends it! I will make your life hell for a while to come."

He turns me around and looks at me closely. "Your drunk." He grins.

"So are you."

He stares at me until I begin to feel uncomfortable. I shift slightly and look away. I feel his finger under my chin and he lifts my face to his. He pauses for a moment before leaning in tipping his head to the side. I try and back away but I can only go so far or fall off. His lips meet mine, gently. He pulls away slightly before pulling me close again and this time kissing me properly. I close my eyes slightly gripping his shirt tightly. His tongue is in my mouth and for a moment I forget everything. All that matters is the kiss. It is slow and passionate...nothing like Sephiroth. I feel my body heat slightly as he pushes me backward. I moan quietly and press our bodies closer. What was he doing? Was this a joke? I feel his hand on my thigh as it slides up beneath the dress. Finally I gasp and pull away. "Stop...Zack..."

He sits up suddenly with wide eyes. "Shit..." he muttered putting a hand to his head. "Sorry...for a moment there...I...forgot you were a guy..."

"You...forgot..." I sit up and glare at him. "How can you forget? Seriously! Have more self control..."

"You're a good kisser." He said lightly.

"Wha...That's beside the point!" I mutter angrily. I shift slightly, I won't be able to stand up for a while. My cheeks are bright red and I can't look my friend in the eyes. I know he was drunk...but why kiss me? What made him do that?

Was I really that feminine? This was ridiculous. I tried to turn my thoughts away from the uncomfortable bulge in my pants. I needed a distraction...anything!

"Cloud...I'm sorry..." Zack mutters with a nervous laugh. Then his face became serious. "Um...I..."

"Don't." I mutter looking down at the metal beneath me. "Let's just...go back. I don't want to talk about this...ever. What happened...I...Can't talk about it. I'm embarrassed and I just want to go back and have a cold shower."

I glance up into his eyes. I can see that he noticed my uncontrollable reaction. I sigh heavily and close my eyes. "It's not your fault...I...I have some things...that happened and...stuff...so just leave it..."

"If that's what you want..." Zack muttered. He seemed just as embarrassed as I was.

We returned late at night stumbling onto the train, I had returned the dress and now wore what I had left ShinRa in. We walked down the long carriage until we found seats, I fell into them and stared out the window at all the people passing. It was late but the station was packed. The people all looked depressed. "What's going on?" I mutter.

"Hmmm? No idea..." Zack replies following my gaze.

"They all look so...sad..." I feel the train begin to move. We speed past people greeting each other or standing alone by the empty platforms.

I look at Zack who stares intently at his phone. "She hasn't called me...in a while." He whispered.

"Who?"

"Oh...Never mind." He smiles and flips his phone shut. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder." He looked troubled but I said no more on the subject.

We arrived back at ShinRa to find a whole garrison of SOLDIER's assembling. Zack paused as we went to enter the building. "Looks like the shit's hit the fan." He muttered.

"Yeh...I wander what's going on?"

"If they want our help they'll ask." Zack said and I nodded before following him in. We walked past running infantry men and other personnel. Zack grabbed someone wearing a red second class uniform. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Sir!" the man saluted quickly, "We've been ordered to mobilise! The army's getting ready for a potential attack! The war has escalated."

"Attack?" Zack looked thoughtful. "Hmmm...Thanks...you had better go get ready."

"Sir, yes sir!" He ran off again.

"What did he mean?" I mutter watching the man's retreating back. "It's bad isn't it...?"

"Yeh...must be to be mobilising the troops this late. Oh well...If we're needed we'll be called. Let's go."

I follow him quietly until we reach the barracks. Once I reach my dorm room I open the door and turn to see Zack staring into space. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Hmm? Oh nothing, I just think I'm probably gunna be called...It's what's expected of me...I'm sure Sephiroth will be going as well..."

"Oh..." I can't hide my disappointment. If he goes then I'll be left behind. I'll be on my own...again.

"Hey, cheer up! It's not like I'd die that easily...they haven't even called me yet...there's still time."

"Ok...Thanks for tonight." I smile at him and he pats my head.

"Thats fine...we should do it again sometime..."

"Just without the dress!"

"Yeh...without the dress!" He waved and left me alone.

I entered my room and stretched yawning. I was too tired to bother getting dressed so I threw myself down onto my bed and almost immediately I was asleep.

_Nibelheim. _

_I stand outside the gates...why am I here? What does it mean? _

_The whole village is on fire._

_The screams are terrible._

_I see him. Stood amongst the flames, his sword flashing fire. I try to run toward him to find out what happened but I can't move. His eyes meet mine and his smile...his smile sends shivers through my body. The heat is too intense. He turns away and disappears through the flames as if he is impervious to them._

_The water tower burns. I had made my promise to Tifa there, under a sky full of stars._

_The reactor? Why am I here? _

_I see Tifa running toward Sephiroth only to be cut down. I gasp but I am immobile. She tumbles down the hard metal steps collapsing at the bottom. Why? Why would he do that? Why would he hurt Tifa?_

_A horrible high pitched whine. Too loud. I can't hear anything else. I can't move as Sephiroth climbs the stairs to a huge door with a single word written in huge letters above it._

_JENOVA_

_What was that? Why was I dreaming of this?_

_**...You know me...**_

_Who...?_

_**You will know me.**_

_I...I don't know...I don't know who you are!_

_**Time will tell. You who has my...**_

_The noise drowns out some of the words as it increases in pitch._

_**...Inside you...You are...a...**_

_NO! No! Enough! I don't want to hear it! Not those words!_

_**Puppet. A doll...a remnant of my true child...Half life...Your fate is decided. You will become...**_

_No...I don't know what you're talking about...please...leave me alone! I don't want to be a puppet! I don't..._

_**Remember these words: The JENOVA/SEPHIROTH GENE...The Black Materia...Project S...Remember and learn...**_

_I see him. Encased in crystal and surrounded by snow. What was this? What did it all mean? Then it all fades to be replaced by a huge meteorite falling straight to the earth...I see it in the sky...it comes closer and closer until..._

...I wake up with a scream. I clutch my pillow tightly and gasp in breaths. What was that? Who had been speaking to me? I was shivering and it took me a moment to hear the horrible squeals of the emergency siren. I jump out of bed and fling my door open, the red lights flashing desperately.

I stare around as doors all along the corridor open and people begin moving about talking to each other. Then a voice pumps through the speakers.

_Warning! Intruder alert! All SOLDIER first class to room G. Warning! Intruder alert! All SOLDIER first class to room G._

The warning was repeated for five more minutes before going quiet. Everyone listened intently for any other information. I see people running past. I back up a step.

_WARNING: INTRUDER. WARNING: INTRUDER..._

Then it went quiet. I stood still wandering what could have happened but for a long time nothing was forthcoming. Finally everyone shrugged and returned to their rooms. I sighed and closed my door, I assumed we would all know about the intruder in due time. I yawned. So tired. I fell back into bed and went back to sleep. No dreams. No strange voices.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **So...this one's depressing! Yay! However...There must be a warning for this chapter! It once again contains Yaoi...Yes...I have problems. I am sorry. Oh well...keep reading and enjoy! Review! I like hearing your opinions! (I hope that the Yaoi type stuff isn't putting anyone off! I'm so sorry if it is! I am perverted.)

Chapter 16

"_Words aren't the only thing that tell people what you're thinking."_

_There is a part of me that I am afraid of._

_A part of me that...isn't me._

_What if...this other "me" were to hurt people?_

_What if it did something unforgivable?_

_What if I lose myself completely to the other one?_

_What if...i disappear?_

The next morning I awoke to the sounds of exited talking in the hallway. I yawned and rubbed the back of my head. I had had a dream...someone had been speaking to me...I saw Nibelheim...but...i don't remember it all. I shower and dress quickly going down to the canteen and eating a hurried breakfast before anyone else can show up and start to hassle me. When I had finished I walked slowly back to my dorm, my mind drifted off on its own and I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking.

I was broken from my daydream when I walked into something solid, I stumbled back and quickly regained my balance. When I looked up I saw Sephiroth staring down at me. Something had changed in his eyes, they were almost...sad. I avoided his gaze and apologised quietly before taking a step back. "Cloud...?" He said softly. "What are you doing here?"

I look up and blink a few times before finally taking in my surroundings. "Wha...I'm...not sure..." I had somehow found my way to the laboratories. I didn't want to be back here! Not again! I take another step back preparing to run at the first chance I got. "I just...walked...and i...found myself here..."

"Hmmm? Strange..." He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Because...Cloud...I was waiting for you."

"Wha..." I looked into his eyes. Mistake. "S...Sephiroth..." I murmured. "...No..."

"You do not get a say in this. Cloud...I saw you with Zack...You were together in that park and I saw what you did."

"I...I'm...sorry..." Breathing was becoming difficult. He was so close. His hand tightened painfully on my jaw making me wince. My heart beat too quickly. His eyes swallowed me whole. I sank into them almost gratefully, it had been too long. I wanted it. I wanted him to touch me. "Please...Sephiroth..." I whisper.

"Oh...so now the little boy begs?" he laughed softly. "You will wait. You will wait until I am done here..."

"Sephiroth...what are you doing?"

He looked up and I followed his gaze. Hojo stood at the door to one of the larger labs. His eyes met mine and I saw a small smile on his lips. "This is...most interesting! Most interesting indeed."

"What is?" Sephiroth said sharply.

"Oh...nothing. I will be inside...hurry up I don't have all day."

When Hojo had gone Sephiroth leaned down and kissed me. I responded with everything I had. I was suddenly filled with overwhelming desire. I had to have him touch me. I had to have his hands on me. If I didn't I would...die. All too soon he pulled away. "No..." I moaned.

He chuckled softly and I felt his hand brush my face as he walked away. I sank down the wall and fell to the floor. My head began to hurt. It was a dull throbbing pain at first but it got worse. I curled up into a ball and covered my head with my hands. I lay there gasping as the pain reached its peak. I couldn't take this anymore. It was happening again. That awful high pitched noise that usually came with the pain. A horrible ringing that I couldn't block out. I squeezed my eyes shut panting heavily. It hurt. Why wouldn't it stop? Why did it have to hurt in the first place?

_**...obey...**_

_What?_

_**...him...Obey...Your only purpose is to obey...**_

_Who...Who are you?_

_**I am...**_

_Who?_

_**...**_

_**Wake up, Cloud.**_

I open my eyes slowly and find myself staring up at Sephiroth and Professor Hojo. I groan.

"Wake...up? What does...she mean?" I whisper. "Why...always...wake up?" I turn my head away. "It hurt...it always hurts...she never...tells me...anything..." I feel sick but I can hardly move. My vision is foggy and I can't see properly. It's too hard to breathe.

"What are you talking about?" Hojo asks. I see the note book in his hands.

"She...talks to me. In my...dreams...after the pain. She...tells me...to wake up. What...are you doing?" I reach for the book but my hand falls down to my side again. Too much effort to move.

"Hmmm...interesting. We've never had anyone hear voices before...ok, so tell me what, exactly, she says?"

I ignore Hojo but I look directly into Sephiroth's eyes. I feel a smile on my face. "She say's...Nibelheim. She says there's...something waiting...for you." I lift my hand and manage to touch Sephiroth's face gently. "She wants you to come to her."

Suddenly he jerks back with wide eyes.

I sigh and drop back onto the cold metal, my eyes feel heavy. Slowly they close. Now only darkness surrounds me.

I wake up surrounded by soft covers. I reach out and take a handful and drag them closer around me. I want to go back to sleep but something woke me. I feel a hand on my face. Leather. My eyes open and I turn to see Sephiroth above me. I feel a little dizzy and almost as if I'm drunk. I groan and sit up. "What happened?" I mutter rubbing my eyes.

"You collapsed in the hall way." Sephiroth said.

"Why?"

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Never mind." He turned away and gazed into the distance for a moment. I looked around and saw I was in his rooms. I move to the edge of the bed and attempt to stand but Sephiroth pushes me roughly back down and leans over me. I looked into his eyes.

"What...happened? You don't look like...yourself." I mutter.

"I have...a lot on my mind. The intruder...was a friend of mine...or was."

I lie back. Why do I feel so ill? My hand covers my face. "What...is happening to me?" I mutter.

"I suspect it has something to do with whatever Hojo did to you."

I feel my hand drawn away from my face and my vision is filled with Sephiroth. His cold smile, his eyes. He opens my jacket slowly. I lay still. His eyes filling me with only one purpose. Obey. I must Obey. The only thing that matters is Sephiroth. His hands slide under my black t-shirt. The leather is cold on my skin. He bows his head and runs his tongue down my chest making gasp and shudder as pleasant thrills shoot down my spine. His fingers open my trousers and pull them down slightly. I tip my head back as I feel his mouth on me. I moan and reach down gripping his hair tightly. His hands hold my hips so I can't move them. His movements are agonizingly slow. I feel as if I'm going to insane if he doesn't speed up. "Ah...Sephi...roth...Ah...Nnnn..." After a moment he looks up at me.

"No resistance? It seems you were easily trained."

I can't reply. He lifts my limp body into his lap so I sit astride him with my back to his chest. I feel his leather clad hand slide into my trousers. I shudder helplessly. My hand grips his wrist tightly as he takes my erection in his own. I moan as he moves it gently up and down. I feel his breath on my neck and he uses his other hand to turn my head to face him, he kisses me deeply. His hand increases its speed slowly and my hips begin move. His touch is like fire...it burns but I...I like it. After a moment he pulls away from the kiss and whispers in my ear.

"Your eyes...are like mine. They changed when you came around after...collapsing in the hallway..." His breathing is heavier than it should have been and I feel him tense slightly as I thrust into his hand. "What...ever Hojo did...he did it to...the both of us..."

"Ah...no...not...same..." I mutter. I am barely even aware I'm speaking. "Nnnn...I'm...your...Puppet...ah...Sephi...sephiroth...faster...Please..." I hear him gasp softly as tip my head back against his shoulder. He turns my head again so I look into his eyes. I was so close. Just seeing his face almost made me tip over the brink. I moan and grip his wrist tightly moving it faster. Finally the heat rushes through me. I Close my eyes and let it consume me. "AH!" I bite down on the side of my hand to stifle the sound.

At that moment the door opens. I have a second to see Zack stood in the doorway staring at us before Sephiroth pushes me back on to the bed and stands. I lay still shivering slightly, my t-shirt drenched. Zack looks me in the eyes, his own wide with something resembling fear then...he turned away and walked from the room.

"He should really learn how to knock." Sephiroth muttered before sighing and turning to me. I can't move. He hasn't said that I could. "Get up. It is time you returned to your Barracks."

I sit up slowly. My mind is working slowly. I wasn't even afraid of the fact that we had been caught. I was a zombie. No control over my own body. I stumble out his door and hear it close behind me. I fall into a wall with a gasp. I feel dizzy. Then a hand takes my shoulder and spins me around. Zack slams me into the wall. "Cloud...What the hell?" he says angrily. I hear the disgust in his voice. I stare back at him blankly. "What was that?"

"I..." I close my eyes and when I open them again everything rushes in on me. I had been caught. Sephiroth had done it again. My eyes widen and Zack suddenly releases me. I slide down the wall to my knees.

"You...don't control it do you?" Zack muttered. "I saw your eyes...they were...different."

"He...It...It's not...I..." I cover my face with my hands.

Zack crouches before me and puts a hand on my shoulder."It's not your fault...Cloud...we should tell someone..."

I shake my head quickly. "No. That wouldn't help! You...You don't understand! I'm...I'm not...myself...when I'm with him...I...change...like there's someone else inside me! He...he never goes any further than...that. He has never... done anything more than touch...I...I have no control! Zack...I'm sorry!"

"H...How many times?"

I glance up at him. "Twice...now...that I can remember...but maybe...there has been other times...i don't know anymore! I'm so confused!" I grip my hair desperately trying not to scream. After a moment Zack pulls me into a rough embrace and I feel myself break down. I can't take it anymore. The memory loss...the strange dreams that I can barely remember...the pain that Sephiroth caused...tired of it all. I want to sleep. I want to forget everything.

"It'll be alright Cloud...i won't leave you. I promise...we're friends right?"

I nod into his jacket. "Don't...Don't leave me...alone. Ever...please...I'm...afraid."

"I won't leave you...I swear on my honour as a SOLDIER I will not leave you. Now...let's get you back..."

He lifts me to my feet and walks with me back to my room. Once there I fall onto the bed and curl up in a ball facing away from him. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry you had to see that..."

"It's not your fault." Zack muttered. I closed my eyes tightly.

"Sephiroth...he...has control over my body...whenever I'm around him I feel like I'm drowning." My voice is low, barely above a whisper. "I can't stop thinking about him...It's...painful to be near him but..." I put a hand over my eyes.

"You...don't have to say anything. I won't judge...just...be careful around him. Things are difficult at the moment, he's changing. I sensed it but...I didn't do anything. It's got something to do with his friends...they deserted and are trying to bring down ShinRa...It's complicated."

I nod. After a moment of silence I turn around and face him. "Stay with me...tonight...please..."

He nods and I smile. "Thank you..."

I fall asleep in his arms. I dream...

"_Z-Zack." _

"_For the... both of us". _

"_Both... of us?" _

"_That's right... you're gonna..." _

"_You're gonna..." _

"_Live...You'll be... my living legacy." _

_What is all this? Why...Why is there so much blood? Is Zack...? Is he...? No. It can't be. He would never...leave me. Why is his hand so cold? The...the blood...everywhere. Zack! What's going on? Why can't I...Why can't I think straight? Please...don't leave me! You...You promised! _

"_My honour... my dreams...they're yours now." _

"_I'm... your living... legacy." _

_No...No this can't be happening! It's not true...It...My head! It hurts...I can't do this without you...Zack! Why...Why...Why...?_

I wake up with a scream and cover my head with my hands. What was that? Vaguely...i can remember blood. I can remember...a cliff...I feel hands grab me by the arms. I am shaken roughly until I look up into Mako filled eyes. I let out a heart wrenching sob and fling my arms around Zack.

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone! Please...I...I can't..." I gasp in a breath and feel Zack tighten the embrace.

"What's all this about?"

I sigh and relax slowly. Just a dream. Just a nightmare. Already the details were drifting away like smoke on a breeze. "No...I just had a nightmare. I'm ok now..."

"You scared the hell out of me! You were crying in your sleep then you sit up screaming like you're in hell! Come on...I'm here and I've already said that I won't leave you."

"Mmmm." I snuggle into his arms, the dream now only a mixture of distorted feelings. I feel myself slowly falling back to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Ah...so it is nearing its end...or is it? Well, I have an extra special long chapter for you! Hey hey! This one is pretty graphic! So be warned. Now, if I get more reviews I may write more on this...I'm not sure. XD I hope you enjoy! Oh and don't forget that I owe you all a gift for the fourteenth! Look forward to it!

Chapter 17

The next day I had to return to work, which meant training. Serious training. My squad was lined up in the courtyard in the pouring rain. We stood with hands behind our backs before the assault course while our Junior officer paced back and forth giving us instructions.

It was a long course and very hard. I had always failed this. There were three walls, a pool with a rope across and ladders. Even a zip line. I sighed inwardly; another day of disappointment and unguarded insults.

Finally the officer breaks off. "Strife!"

"Sir!" I salute avoiding eye contact.

"You first. Get going and this time I want you to actually complete it! On three..."

I stand before the white line and wait for the signal.

"One..."

I take a breath and let it out slowly. The rain was going to make this even harder than usual.

"Two..."

I tense. Waiting.

"Three..."

I run. The first obstacle is a very tall wall with a rope dangling from it. I jump and catch the rope halfway up hauling my weight up before scrambling over the top and jumping down into a pool of freezing water. Ignoring the numbness that is threatening to take over my whole body I slosh through it reaching the edge. I haul myself up onto dry land and see the next wall. Someone had broken off the rope...i jump and catch it. Quickly I drag myself up and over. Next is a thin piece of wood stretched over a thick pool of mud. I run across it and jump down on the other side. I scramble up a net and grab the zip wire. I take my feet off of the platform and whizz down to the bottom landing and running on again. Obstacle after obstacle and I find that I am barely out of breath.

Finally it finishes. I stand still and stare down at my hands. I was hardly panting. My muscles didn't ache as they used to. I frown. My comrades were silent, my junior officer had forgotten to stop the watch in his hand. I look up at him as he stares, open mouthed, at me.

"Tha...That was...amazing..." he mutters before looking down at his watch and roughly working out a time. "Record...you set a record..."

I see the others in my squad all glaring at me. I sigh and shiver slightly as the cold seeps into by bones.

I was made to run it three more times. And each time I was faster. Afterwards I went to shower, stripping off my filthy, soaking clothes I step under the stream of hot water. The showers in the training area were communal and uni-sex. Sometimes that caused some embarrassing problems. I lifted my head so the water ran over my face with a groan. I was now exhausted. But...I was pleased with myself. I had become a little bit stronger. Then a thought occurred to me. This wasn't down to my own strength...this was the Mako. I shuddered. But it wasn't that much of a problem as I hadn't been given a huge amount.

I heard a few girlish giggles and turned to see several woman watching me with blushing cheeks. I turned away quickly.

Several other people from my squadron came in talking loudly. I ignored them as best I could until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see one of them grinning at me.

"Hey, Strife...how's things? You did pretty good out there...having the hero Sephiroth as your boyfriend must be good for your stamina..." he laughed nastily.

I feel myself flush. "What are you going on about?"

"Oh come on...everyone knows Sephiroth has an unhealthy interest in you! Just admit that you're fucking him..."

I shove his hand away angrily. "No. Go away and leave me alone!"

"This is a public shower...I can go where I please."

He shoved me back into the wall and pressed his arm across my throat making me choke. He leaned in close to my ear. "I wander...if you're really that good? Maybe I should try a bit of you...then maybe I could understand what has the Hero so enamoured."

His hand reaches down and grabs my crotch. I gasp and try to pull away. He slams my head back into the wall so hard I see stars. I can hear his friends giggling and cheering him on. I grab his arm tightly and use all my strength to push him away. He slips and falls to the floor. I stand above him gasping and rubbing my throat. "Get...the fuck away from me!" I hiss.

His eyes widen as he stares up at me. I watch him scramble back and stand shakily. "You...You're not human! You...freak..." he ran from the room followed by his friends.

I stare after him. _Not...human?_ I shudder and wrap my arms around myself. Is that true? Am I not human? Had my eyes changed when I was angry? I fall back into the wall and feel the water splashing down onto my head. I slide down to the floor. I remember Hojo's words...

_Human?_

Was I no longer human? If not then that could only make me one thing...a monster.

After I had showered I went into the changing rooms. I opened my locker and turned as the door opened. I heard laughter and two men wearing suits entered. Turks. I notice that one of them was the man who had kissed me when he thought I was a girl. Reno. He turned to me when he noticed I was there.

He frowned slightly. "Hey, kid...don't I know you?"

I shake my head quickly. "No, sir."

"Ya'know...i'm pretty sure I do...Rude..." He turned to his companion. "You recognise this kid?"

"..." Rude took his glasses off and looked at me. "Tseng. He worked for Tseng a while back. On that mission with Sephiroth and the materia."

"Ah! Yeh, that's right! He's the puppy's friend!" He grinned.

"Puppy?" I ask quietly.

"Yeh, you know...that First Class git...what's his name...?"

"Zack." Reno said putting his glasses back on.

"His mentor gave him that nickname now everyone knows him by it...hey, if you see him tell him he's got business with the boss."

I nod. They went around the corner still talking. I shrugged and changed quickly.

Once done I walked back to my room. The whole place was buzzing with talk that something major was happening with the deserters. I ignored it. It didn't concern me. Finally I reached my door, I put my key in and...

_Would Squad seven please report to briefing room C. REPEAT: Would squad seven report to briefing room C. Thank you._

I sighed heavily and turned away walking toward the lifts at the end of the corridor. Squad seven was mine.

When I reached the right floor and stepped out of the elevator I saw Zack stood in the corridor. He turned and saw me. "Cloud! Hey, we can't find the rest of your squad..."

I smile, "I'll round 'em up for you."

I gather everyone together and we enter the room. Sephiroth is stood leaning against the table with his arms folded across his chest, our eyes meet and I look away quickly. Zack stands near Sephiroth while we all line up.

"We only need three people for this mission." Sephiroth says softly. He points his finger at me. "You...you and you." He points to two others. "The rest are dismissed."

When the rest had filed out Zack and Sephiroth turned to us. "We will be going to Nibelheim." Sephiroth said.

I gasp slightly. I was going home?

"The reactor there has been playing up and monsters have been on the increase, they think it is a leak. Also...people have been going missing in the surrounding area. So, when you are all ready we will meet outside where a truck will take us to our destination."

Zack nodded. "Meet up at 1400 in the car park...dismissed."

I salute along with everyone else and move toward the door. Zack grabs my arm I turn. "Cloud...be careful yeh? I got a bad feeling about this..."

I nod. "No worries...I'm originally from Nibelheim! It's my...home. How about you? "

"Me? Gongaga." Zack replies. I laugh quietly. "Hey, what's so funny about that? You know Gongaga?"

"No, but... it's such a backwater name." I say after stifling my laughter.

"Ditto Nibelheim." Zack say's crossing his arms.

"Like you've been there." I find myself a little defensive, well, it was my home even if I hadn't been back for a year.

"I haven't, but there's a reactor there, right?" Zack shrugs and I nod. "A 'Mako' reactor outside Midgar usually means..."

"Nothing else out there." We say in unison before cracking up.

Sephiroth breaks up our laughter. "When you are done socialising I would like to get going."

I salute and Zack waves his hand. "Yeh, yeh...we'll be off."

A while later I sit in the truck as it roars to life. I groan. Another long ride full of sickness.

The trip was a long and tiring one. We went to Junon and got boat from there to Costa Del Sol before getting a ride to Nibelheim. We stopped along the way to rest in hotels which was easier than camping. I managed to only throw up when we stopped, for which Zack was grateful.

Finally we reached Nibelheim. We pulled up outside the town gates and all climbed off the back of the truck. I shove my helmet on my head quickly. I did not want anyone to recognise me. Zack gave me a weird look. We stood before the gates and Sephiroth turned to me.

"How does it feel? It's your first time in your hometown in a long time right? So how does it feel? I wouldn't know because I don't have a hometown." He laughed softly.

"You...don't have a home town?" Zack asked. "What about your parents...i mean you have to have parents right?"

"My mother died when I was born but I have been told her name was Jenova...my father..." he paused. "Why am I even talking about this?" He laughed again and walked in through the gates.

I followed and paused to look back at Zack who seemed to be muttering to himself. Then he shrugged and walked on. We were given a room in a hotel but I decided it would be best to at least see my mother.

I stood outside my house looking up at it, my mind full of childhood memories...not all of them very happy. No one was around. I quickly moved to the door and knocked.

"Just coming!"

My mother's voice. I sighed and straightened. The door opened and she peered out at me. I was taken aback slightly by how much she had aged...or was it just because I hadn't seen her in such a long time? She frowned.

"Can I help you?"

I realise that I still had my helmet on, I lift my hands and remove it. I check quickly to make sure no one's around. She gasps and brings a hand to her mouth.

"I...I'm home...mother..." I mutter.

I see tears in her eyes and she pulls me into her arms. I struggle free and step into the house. "Not on the doorstep." I mutter with a frown.

"Cloud...It...It really is you! Oh, my baby!"

She hugs me again and I let her. After a long moment she releases me and steps back so she can see me properly. Her eyes are the same blue as mine, her hair is tied back in a bun at the back of her head. Her dress is simple and she wears an apron over the front of it. I can smell freshly baked bread. She smiles and I see the lines around her eyes and mouth more clearly than I had ever done before. She looked fragile, almost as if she would shatter if I touched her.

"Oh...my! Look at how much you've grown! It's been such a long time! Here...sit down...have you been eating properly? I hope you haven't been getting into trouble! Are you hungry? I can fix you something..."

I sit on the sofa. "No...Mum...I'm fine. They've been looking after me..." I stare at the floor.

I hear her sigh. "You look too pale and too thin...are you sure...?"

"Mum! I said I'm fine..." I sit back and stare at the ceiling.

She sits in the sofa opposite and looks at me, her blue eyes filled with concern. "You know...Tifa has been worrying about you...she comes around at least once a day to see if I have had any news."

I look away. "I...don't want to see her..."

"Oh...Cloud! You're sixteen now...maybe it's time you got a girlfriend? Someone who can look after you and make sure you don't get into trouble..."

"No! I don't...I don't need anyone...I'm fine."

"But Tifa's such a nice girl..."

"I said I'm fine..." I mutter closing my eyes. "Just leave it. Just don't tell her I'm here...please."

I hear her sigh and open my eyes to see her clasping her hands in her lap and looking at me. "How are they treating you at ShinRa? Are they looking after you?"

"They treat me well enough...I guess."

"Have you been getting into many fights?"

I look away. "A few..." I mutter knowing she can see the faint bruise on my neck. "But I deal with them. I don't need anyone to look after me."

"Cloud...are you sure everything's ok?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I snap. I see the hurt in her eyes and sigh. "I'm sorry...I'm just tired...it's been a long journey."

"Then...i'll set up your old bed for you. Then you can have some tea and go to sleep."

I nod my thanks.

The next day I meet Zack in the village centre. We stand in together and I see the person I least expect come running up to us. I am suddenly relieved I have my helmet on. Tifa was wearing a short skirt and cowboy hat. Her long dark hair was loose about her shoulders and she looked flushed as she walked over to us.

Zack leans down to me and nudges me in the side. "Hey...is that that Tifa girl?" I nod. "Wow...nice one! She's...well endowed." He giggles as I move to stamp on his foot but he dodges.

"'scuse me?"

Sephiroth turns to a man holding a camera. "Can I get a photo? I mean...it's not every day we get a hero in our midst!"

"So long as you're quick." Sephiroth said. Zack stood beside him with Tifa in the middle as the man takes the photo. I sigh inwardly. She had grown up. Then I wander what she was doing here.

"Tifa will be your guide through the mountains." A man said. "She knows the terrain well and can show you around. Please, look after her."

I realise its Tifa's martial arts instructor speaking. Her father stands beside him. The helmet is stifling but if I remove it...they will know. They will know I failed.

The first inspection of the reactor goes well and we returned to the village. I notice Sephiroth acting unusual. He immediately retreats to his room and doesn't come out. I sit with Zack in the hotel.

"What's wrong with Sephiroth?" I ask.

Zack looks up from where he sits on his bed. "We met someone inside the reactor...some things happened...I don't think we'll see much of Sephiroth for a while. How was your visit with your mother?"

"Ok." I mutter. "She was...overbearing as usual."

"Ha! That's parents for you! My mum and dad are constantly trying to get me to marry! Every letter I get has some reference to some girl they've met who would just be perfect for me!"

I smile. "Yeh...my mum wants me to marry Tifa..."

"Well...it's not like that'd be a bad thing! She's nice looking and tough..."

I feel my smile fade. "I just...don't think I'm ready...for that kind of thing."

"Yeh...i know what you mean. When you're young you should just let loose! Don't worry about settling down until you're old."

I laugh. "Yeh..."

I woke up in the middle of the night. The room was dark and the only sounds were Zack's soft breathing.

_Cloud...Come to me. I am in the library of the old ShinRa mansion._

I slide out of bed and pull a jacket over my shoulders. My feet take me through the square and toward the ShinRa mansion. Once inside I walk up the grand staircase and go into a room where I find something resembling a huge stone fireplace. I push on the front of it and it moves inward revealing a passage. I follow it. My mind was blissfully blank as I walked silently across the dirt covered floor. Finally I reach a large room. An old laboratory. I turn and find another room leading off to the side. Sephiroth is sat behind the desk holding a book in his hands and reading quickly, his eyes going from left to right rapidly.

He looked up to see me and smiled. The book fell from his fingers and he reached out to me. I walk into the room and let him pull me close.

"You came." He muttered. "Good..."

His fingers stroke my face gently.

"Did you know...that Jenova is the name of a two thousand year old fossil dug up from layers of earth?" I shake my head. "Yes...you see she was a monster discovered by ShinRa scientists...And she is my mother. Her cells reside within my body giving me power beyond any mere human. You see...Hojo gave you these cells as well...you are part of what is called project S! You and I are connected because we share mother's cells."

I feel his grip tighten almost painfully on my arms. His eyes are alight with an almost fanatical joy. I smile vaguely in response.

"Hojo has given you to me! He has given you the means to become strong...is that not what you wanted?"

I nod again. I feel sick. Dizzy. Just being in the same room as him makes me feel as if my mind is going to snap.

"A normal SOLDIER is infused with Mako...whereas I am created entirely from mother's cells! You...you who were human have been enhanced...even though the process is unfinished. So now...i can control you. Now...you belong to me. Now...you will be mine forever."

"For...eternity?" I mutter as he pushes me roughly down on the desk scattering books everywhere. My mind recoiled from the idea of always being controlled by him, but my body was his.

"Yes...for eternity Cloud."

He pulled down my trousers and kissed me hard. I gasped at the pain a little; he took the opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth. I closed my eyes and gave in to him. I felt his hand grip me tightly making my hips buck against him. He pulled away and I saw his smile. The same cold smile; the smile of a nightmare.

He moved down and took me into his mouth. I moaned and threw my head back. Pleasure rushed through my body. I was going to crazy. My hands slid into his hair as he lifted my legs up so my bare feet rested on the edge of the desk. Before I knew what was happening I felt his uncovered fingers in my mouth. I was vaguely surprised, this was the first time he had taken his gloves off. His tongue ran up the length of my penis and gently around the tip forcing a cry from lips. He removed his fingers from my mouth and lifted his head looking down into my eyes. I felt his fingertips against my hole. "Sephiroth...?" I whispered as he began pressing against me. "Ah...that hurts..." I grab a handful of his coat and squeeze my eyes shut. He pressed harder ignoring my discomfort. It was a sharp stinging pain and yet...after a while it became bearable. I gasped and opened my eyes. He looked down at me and began moving his fingers. I gasped. "S...Stop...please...I...Ah...it...hurts..."

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine. I shivered slightly as I became used to this new sensation. The pain soon became insignificant compared to the pleasure I began to feel. I moaned into the kiss and gripped his jacket. Finally he pulled out, I sighed and flopped back onto the desk.

"Now...Cloud, become mine. Give me your everything." I saw him unbutton his trousers. He leaned down capturing my hands above my head. I felt him press against me and squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the inevitable pain. It came. I gasped and stifled a sob. I turned my head away from his. I heard him hiss air through his teeth as he pushed deeper.

"Ah..." I cried out. It hurt.

His hand tightened on my wrists and finally he was fully inside. I was shaking slightly and breathing in little gasps of air. Finally I turned my face to his and opened my eyes. His own were glowing. "M...Move...please..." I whispered.

He smiled. When he did move it was as if I was going to be split in two. The pain was intense and yet... there was that under current of pleasure. Soon the pain slowly dulled. I felt every thrust, his breathing quickened along with the beat of his heart. He reached down and grabbed my penis in his hand so that each time he thrust he moved his hand as well. The pleasure increased tenfold. I felt as If I was on fire. The flames were surrounding me, consuming every part of me. I arched my back and clenched my fists. "Sephi...roth...harder..." I moan. "Ah...please...hurry...Nnnn...I need to..."

I hear his soft laughter between his gasps of pleasure. "You're so tight Cloud..." he muttered thrusting deeper.

"S...So...good..." I mutter. "More...please...more...Ah!" I feel myself lifted from the table and thrown roughly onto my front. He thrust into me again. My finger nails dug into the wood beneath me. "Ah..." He grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged my head back. I gasped and felt my body tense. "I...I'm...C...Coming...Ah...Sephiroth...Ha-nnn!" I came over the books underneath me but Sephiroth wasn't done. He kept going until I began to hurt again. Then suddenly He grunted. Hot liquid spilled into me making me gasp. Then he released me and pulled out. I heard him zip himself back as I collapsed against the desk. My body ached. I lay still gasping for breath. I had never felt anything like that before. I was shaking slightly from the intensity of my orgasm. Sephiroth rolled me over and looked down into my face.

"Never forget Cloud...you are _my _toy..._my_ puppet. Do you understand?"

"Y...yes..." I whisper. My mind was in turmoil. What we had done was wrong. It was wrong...i had no control. No strength to disobey those eyes. I belonged to him. He owned me utterly.

He stepped away from the table and walked away leaving me trembling on the piles of books. I heard his parting words...

_I will return. When it is time, I will rise up from my sleep and you will help me. Together we will conquer._

What was he talking about? I had no idea, but I felt him leave. I felt cold suddenly. I was afraid. Alone. Completely alone. I sat up and dressed myself. I had forgone shoes so I was forced to limp back to the hotel in bare feet. The stones cut into my flesh making me wince. Finally I reached the bedroom I shared with Zack and I looked down at him. He was sleeping peacefully. I smiled sadly.

No, I wasn't alone. He would always be by my side...he had promised to stay with me. I lay down on my bed and fell into a deep, undisturbed, sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Ok...so, I know everyone knows this story! But...I wanted to write it from Clouds P.O.V...I hope I did an ok job! I wrote the last bit to the song by Ayaka called "Why" I love that music. It is the ending theme for Crisis Core...it made me sad. Oh well! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 18

"_My soul, corrupted by vengeance  
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey  
In my own salvation  
And your eternal slumber_

_Legend shall speak  
Of sacrifice at world's end  
The wind sails over the water's surface  
Quietly, but surely."_

_Cloud, it is time. Wake up!_

My eyes open suddenly. Again, that voice. Vaguely feminine. I sit up and look around, my body aches. I hear shouts. Screaming. I stand and walk to the window. What I see makes me want to scream. Flames erupt around the water tower. People are scattered across the ground bleeding. I turn around and change as quickly as I can. I stumble from the room shoving my helmet on. Once outside I search desperately for Zack. I check a few bodies for survivors. Then I turn to my house. It is surrounded by fire. I feel sick. I run inside and kick the door down revealing a furnace. I search the whole place desperately I see a form lying on the ground. My heart jumps into my throat. I fall to my knees beside my mother's body. She had died of smoke inhalation. I gasp in a breath of scolding air and stand shakily backing from the room. I run back out into the streets and see Zack talking to Zangen. I run over and hear words I never thought to hear. I had assumed monsters had done it. I assumed...

It was Sephiroth. Sephiroth had destroyed my village. Sephiroth had killed my mother. Sephiroth...Sephiroth...

I feel a surge of fury and clench my hands into fists. Zack orders me to stay behind but I barely hear him. What does my own life matter now? What does anything matter? Sephiroth had taken everything from me. I stare down at Zangen for a moment.

"Tifa's gone after him..."

His voice takes a moment to sink into my brain. I gasp. Zack had left. I turn toward the mountains and clench my fists. I turn and run as fast as I can after Zack. I had to save her. I had to protect her. If he hurt her...My mind is numb. I can't think at all.

Finally I reach the reactor. I run through the doors and see Tifa lying on the floor. My heart stops. I can't breathe. What had he done? Why was he doing this?

I suddenly see Zack thrown down the stairs. I look up to see a pair of doors with huge letters written above them: JENOVA.

I felt sharp pain stab through my head and I gasp clutching it tightly. After a moment I make my way up the stairs. Images of the burning village running over and over through my brain. My hands shook as I stood before the open doors. Sephiroth stood before a glass tube, inside was a woman...or something that vaguely resembled a woman. "Jenova..." I whisper under my breath. Again that faint stabbing pain. As if someone is trying to tear my head apart from the inside. I see Zack's sword sticking upright in the metal floor. I walk over to it. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. I know what I have to do. I pull the sword out. Anger. Hate. Regret. Greif. I am full of such awful emotions. He had destroyed everything! I feel tears in my eyes and lift my mask to wipe them away quickly. I see Sephiroth reaching out for the monster. I gasp in a breath and run toward him.

"Mum... Tifa... my town... give it back! I had so much respect for you... I admired you!" I scream as I plunge the sword through him. The glass tube cracks and I yank the sword out watching as he collapses. He turns and I tear off my helmet dropping it to the floor. He looks up at me with a smile. "Why?"

"It had to be done." He gasped. "You..." His eyes narrowed. "You are lying...to yourself..."

I turn away quickly as I remembered Tifa, ignoring his burning gaze. I run down the stairs and fall to my knees beside her. Her eyes are closed and I see a deep wound across her stomach. I reach down and brush hair from her face, suddenly her eyes open. She looks up at me and smiles weakly. "You...came..." She whispered. I nod my head fighting the tears. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want to see anyone else die. God! I was so helpless! "You...kept your...promise...Cloud..." She sighed and fell back into my arms. I checked her pulse. Still breathing. Still alive. A noise attracts my attention and I look up to see Sephiroth walking toward the steps holding Jenova's head by the hair.

"How...dare you!" he hissed. I saw the fury and felt a stir of fear.

"Cloud...finish...Sephiroth...off..." Zack muttered from where he lay on the floor.

I nod and gently lay Tifa on the floor. I had to do this...i was the only one who could. The anger was back. "Sephiroth!" I grabbed the Buster sword from beside me and run at him jumping into the air and swinging the sword down with as much force as I could muster. Sephiroth blocked. "Too easy..." He whispered and sent me flying into Jenova's room. I screamed as I slammed into the floor. Pain rocketed up my side and I turned my head to see Sephiroth walking steadily toward me.

"Come now, Cloud...you pretend to feel grief...you cannot feel pain. Get up!" He plunges his sword into my chest making me let out a choked scream. Blood filled my mouth. Coppery salt. He lifted me up and looked at me dangling limply. I gasp in a breath...it was like swallowing fire. My whole body began to shake. The blade felt like freezing ice. I coughed slightly and more blood filled my mouth. Abject agony tore through me in waves. "Don't...test me."

I know I'm dying. He was going to kill me. I think of Tifa. I think of mother's burning corpse. I think of the towns people. I grit my teeth and grab the blade in my gloved hands. Sephiroth's eyes widened. I drag up the last of my strength and lift Sephiroth off his feet.

"No...Impossible!" He whispers.

I turn slightly. The pain is becoming too much. I throw him into the side of the reactor. There's an explosion of sparks and flames and he falls. Down into the glowing centre of the reactor. I stumble back slightly and manage to tear the huge sword from my chest. Blood spills from the wound. I stumble back toward the stairs. My vision begins to blur. I can no longer breathe. I reach the top of the steps and fall. Darkness. Sweet perfect darkness.

_Intriguing, most intriguing..._

That voice. Vaguely recognisable.

_Take him to the mansion._

I can't see. I can't move. Am I...dying? Is this death?

Unbearable pain. It hurts too much. I want it to stop. Where is Zack? What happened?

My head! My body aches. I can't see. I'm blind. Just darkness...nothing more. Floating in a world of dark pain. Excruciating. I can't take anymore.

Opening my eyes. Ah...that light...i can see...where am i? It's wet. Water? No...i can breathe. Green...why is everything green. Is that...Zack? My body won't move.

Horrible noise. High pitched whining. I feel...strange...like there are things infesting my body, taking it over...changing me. Help! Zack...I...need you...

Shattering glass. I hit the cold floor. My body won't move. Someone is dragging me up and pulling me away from this awful place. Why can't I talk? Why can't I move? Zack...?

Lying on a bed. Zack has dressed me in some clothes he found. He is speaking but I can't concentrate on his voice. Even so...i am comforted to know he is beside me. I know my eyes are open. I can see my surroundings but I can't do much more than breathe.

Moving again. Leaving the awful place full of pain and things I can't...Things I don't want to remember. But he is still at my side. He keeps his promises. He will never leave me. My vision is strange, everything is tinted and vague. Images flash past me faster than I can think. Time seems odd. It slows down for brief moments then speeds up so I can't tell what is happening. I feel sick. Constantly sick. Still my body won't move. I can't speak.

I remember...Silver hair...a sword...flames...But no! I don't want to go back there. I don't want to remember it!

A truck? Zack is beside me speaking again. He is smiling...ah, yes. He is always smiling. That's good. It means that everything is going to be alright. It means I'm going to get better and we'll...we'll go to Midgar and get jobs...we'll be together...

_...For eternity..._

No...That's not right...Eternity is too long. After all humans don't live for that long...

_Human? _

...What is this? I am...human...aren't i? I have...a human mother...no...she was killed...fire...the heat. It burned. Her dress was covered in soot...Tifa was...Tifa was covered in blood...No! Don't think! Don't remember.

Is that...a helicopter? Why have we stopped?

Zack is lifting me and sitting me down on the floor. He rubs my head roughly with a smile before standing. Bad feeling. No...you promised! You promised you wouldn't leave me! I reach out with my hand and watch his retreating back. Wait! Take me with you! Please! I don't want to be alone! Don't...don't leave me Zack!

Noisy! So noisy. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what that gun fire and screaming might mean. Zack...come back. Come back and keep your promise...

_Boy oh boy! The price of freedom is steep!_

Zack?

I blink rapidly. I can move...I fall forward and begin crawling past the rocks. The gun fire has gone. The noises have stopped. It's raining. I don't like the rain, it makes me feel sad. It's like...the sky is crying. Still difficult to move but I can...i know he's just around the corner...waiting for me with that smile. It's muddy. I have to use all my effort to drag myself around. I lift my head and see...

No.

Zack is lying in the mud. Blood pooled around him. His chest is a mess of bullet holes. Blood runs down the side of his face. He promised! He said he wouldn't leave me! Don't go! Zack...please...don't leave me behind! I can't go on without you!

I stop and kneel at his side. Is this...a dream? It must be...surly?

"Z-Zack." I look down into his eyes and see his own turn to me.

He winced, obviously in pain. "For the... both of us."

"Both... of us?" I whisper. I can't think. My mind is still foggy. I am only vaguely aware that my friend is injured.

"That's right... you're gonna..."

"You're gonna..."

He grabs the back of my head and drags me down to his chest. His blood is warm. His touch comforts me slightly. What is this pain? "Live...You'll be... my living legacy."

What is all this? Why...Why is there so much blood? Is Zack...? Is he...? No. It can't be. He would never...leave me. The...the blood...everywhere. Zack! What's going on? Why can't I...Why can't I think straight? Please...don't leave me! You...You promised! I can't say any of this...as much as I want too. He is leaving me. I know it deep down in my heart. No one could survive with those wounds. He reaches over and drags up his buster sword. Is he...giving me this? I take it...my movements sluggish.

"My honour... my dreams...they're yours now."

"I'm... your living... legacy."

I watch in horror as his eyes close. This...this is so wrong. No...No this can't be happening! It's not true...It...My head! It hurts...I can't do this without you...Zack! Why...Why...Why...?

I tip my head back and stare up at the sky. The pain. The horrible sick feeling. The awful emptiness...he's gone. He's gone and will never come back. My hands tighten on the hilt of the Buster sword. I can't fight the scream that slips past my throat. The rain has stopped. The clouds drift away so sunlight streams down soaking everything in its warm glow.

I can see Zack's hand stretched toward me. How many times had he extended that hand for me? How many times had he helped me out of situations? He was there for me. He was...my best friend.

I remember everything. Memories of him flash through my head. Then I hear him. His voice...

_Embrace your dreams...If you wanna be a hero you have to have dreams..._

"Thank you...I won't forget." I stand and look down. This emptiness...will ever go away? "Good night..." I mutter looking down at my friend. "Zack." I turn and walk away stumbling slightly. I drag the buster sword behind me. I would go to Midgar I would work...I would...Live...

X

_This is not the end! Don't worry! I have one more chapter before I end it and then...maybe a kind of sequel? I love writing this! I can't stop now...just a few last things to do before the beginning of FF7!_


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **And I'm back! Yay! I have stolen lines...yes, I know I'm a bad person. I thought that I'd fill in the gaps a little from the game. I will be continuing this because I enjoy it so much! Don't worry, I'm gunna copy all the missions and text. So, until next time! Please review!

Chapter 19

"_Though the prisoner escapes, he is gravely wounded  
His life is saved, however  
By a woman of the opposing nation_

_He begins a life of seclusion with her  
Which seems to hold the promise of eternal bliss_

_But as happiness grows, so does guilt  
Of not fulfilling the oath to his friends."_

I walk. I walk slowly toward the huge glowing city of Midgar. The buster sword is heavy and I keep falling over. The pain in my head is terrible. I can't stop the tears.

My mind is full of strange distorted thoughts. I can't think straight.

I fall to my knees in the rocky wasteland. I gasp as the pain intensifies and the sword falls from my fingers. My hands tremble uncontrollably as I bring them to my hair and grip it tightly squeezing my eyes shut.

_Zack..._

_Who is that?_

_I...don't remember..._

_I was...in Nibeilheim...I fought...Sephiroth..._

_He fell..._

_I...saw Tifa...helped her..._

_I..._

_Who...?_

_Who am i?_

_Why is remembering becoming so difficult?_

_The promise...Under the stars, yes...I swore that i...would become...strong..._

_I swore that i...would...become..._

I stand and keep walking. My body hurt. But I knew i had to get to Midgar. I couldn't remember exactly why...

Suddenly I collapse again. Moving is becoming too difficult. What happened to me?

_...SOLDIER First Class..._

_Ah...yes, that was it._

_That was what I was...wasn't it?_

_I had...stuff to do...something important to remember...but, what?_

_What...was my name? Who...am I?_

_**Cloud.**_

_Yes, that's right...Cloud Strife. Cloud Strife, SOLDIER First Class...I...was on a mission with...Sephiroth...and...he turned against us...we were...we? Was there more than two of us? No..I don't think so. _

Nagging feeling...I'm forgetting something important! But what was it?

_**Sephiroth will wait for you.**_

_Sephiroth was...dead. I killed him. He...took away everything..._

_**Don't forget...**_

_Forget...? Forget what?_

I stand again. Have to keep going. Have to keep walking. Midgar. Yes, I had to go to Midgar.

"_Hang in there. Hey, you okay?__"_

I look up at the sky blinking slowly. What was that? That...voice was so familiar...

"_If you see Aeris...tell her I said hi."_

"Who...are you?" I mutter softly at the sky. As I look up I can see a single white feather fall from the clouds. I watch its slow descent as if hypnotised. I reach for it and it lands in my open palm blowing slightly. The tears come again. A horrible sense of loss and pain. The wind picks up and blows the feather away...

"_Embrace your..."_

I wipe the tears away.

"_Embrace your dreams..."_

Keep walking. If I stop I'll fall over and never get back up again.

"_...If you wanna be a hero..."_

So...hard. My mind is going to split in two...

"_...You have to have dreams..."_

It hurts. The pain is unbearable. I feel sick. I lift my free hand to my mouth and fall to my knees throwing up into the dirt. My body shook. It ached. Flash of greenish blue cats eyes. I shudder violently. Sephiroth...Sephiroth...why? I throw up again until nothing is left except the awful taste of bile. I sit still gasping in a lung full of air. I hear his soft laughter in my head. How long...has it been? I have no idea how much time has passed since that day...

"_We're friends...right?"_

Friends? With who...? Why are these voices in my head? Are these...memories? I have to get moving. I stand slowly and look up toward the city. The ShinRa tower looms up into the grey sky, I can see the lights and the green flash as the huge building draws Mako from the earth.

"_Did you know that the planet is alive?"_

That was...Sephiroth's voice. I sigh and keep moving. I care only about one thing. I must return to Midgar. I have to...what? Become a...mercenary? A soldier for hire? Where did that come from?

**...Cloud...**

**...**

**He will awaken. You will wake him from his slumber.**

**Obey.**

**That is your only option.**

**You are...**

**...A...**

**...Puppet.**

I fall to my knees with a cry as my head splits. I can feel an awful pull in my heart. What was wrong with me? Why was I in so much pain? What were these voices? Help! I need...

_Living...legacy..._

Where did that come from? Those words...i should know the meaning behind them.

Finally I reach the outskirts of the city. I stumble on. I should get a train somewhere...It would be easier than walking. I get on a train and fall into the seats. My head still aches and I still feel ill. My mind feels as if it's about to break. The train speeds through the city blurring the view from the window. The city is lit brightly, so pretty in the darkening evening. Finally the train slows and stops. I climb to my feet and fall off onto the platform. I can't move anymore. It's too hard. So much easier to just...lie here...

_Soft rain on my face...a pair of bright Mako enhanced eyes...dark hair...a smile that seems so happy. Comforting hands..._

"_Live..."_

_Yes...I'll live. I'll live out both our lives...I am..._

_Cloud Strife, SOLDIER First Class..._

Strange whining noise...ugh...it hurts. I open my eyes and stare up into a face. I know that face...who...?

_**Tifa.**_

That's right. "T...Tifa?" I mutter as I sit up with a hand to my face. "What...happened?" I whisper under my breath. I'm not exactly sure how I got here but it doesn't matter.

"Cloud...?" Tifa asks.

"Yes...how...long has it been?"

_**Five years.**_

"Five years!" Tifa says. I see her smile and feel myself return it. "It's been such a long time."

"Yeh, I can't believe we would be meeting up like this. You doing alright?"

I watch her face as she frowns slightly. "Yes, I'm fine...I'm more concerned about you...Are you...feeling ok?"

"I'm fine! Better than ever!" I say with a smile as I stand. "We should catch up...wanna go for a drink?"

She stands and looks at me closely. Her deep brown eyes filled with worry. "Cloud...what are you doing here?"

"Me? Oh...I..."

Flash of intense pain.

_**Mercenary...**_

"I'm a mercenary now, soldier for hire and all that."

"Right...if that's true...then why don't you come with me? I think I have a job for you...the pay's good."

"Hmmm? Yeh, sure why the hell not." I laugh and rub the back of my head. "You know, it's weird us meeting in a place like this...to be honest I never thought I'd see you again."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well...the last time we were together was..."

_**Five years ago...in Nibeilheim.**_

"Five years ago in Nibeilheim...remember?"

Her frown deepens. "How...can I forget..." She said. "Anyway...come and meet the gang. I got a bar in the slums! It's a bit shabby but the atmosphere is good. I'm sure you'll be welcomed. After all...we have known each other for a long time."

"Um...yeh...sure..."

I let her drag me through the streets. Finally we arrive at a bar. The houses looked as if they had been made from scrap metal, which they probably had. The neon sign above the door said; Seventh Heaven.

I smiled, just like her to make light of a drab place. She guides me inside and I see simple tables and chairs scattered around and a jukebox in the corner. No one seemed to be there. She sat me down and went behind the bar and got me a drink. Once done she sat down beside me and took a breath.

"Cloud...I..."

"Hmmm?" I hum as I sip the drink and look sideways at her. She looked upset about something. "What's up?"

"I...No, never mind. It's nothing...I'm just glad that your alright." She smiled at me.

"Yeh, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well...i..." she shook her head and laughed softly. "It really doesn't matter."

I put my drink down and frown into it turning the glass between my hands.

"What have you been up to all this time?" Tifa asked.

_...so, you wanna be in SOLDIER? Hang in there..._

_...We're friends, right?_

_...Hey, you ok? Hang in there..._

_...Embrace your dreams, you have to have dreams if you wanna be a hero..._

Pain like lightening shatters my skull and I clutch my temples with a gasp. Then I feel Tifa's hand on my shoulder, I turn to her and she looks into my eyes carefully. "Your eyes..." She whispers. "They were never like that...before..."

"Mako..." I whisper. "It happens to all of us. SOLDIER, that is."

Her frown deepens and she turns away shaking her head. I turn away frowning myself, she was acting strange and it was confusing me. She knew I was in SOLDIER...she was there on that day five years ago. Why was she so interested in my eyes all of a sudden?

"Anyway...about this job..." She says after a while. "I am part of a group of...shall we say...Freedom Fighters? Or something similar, called AVALANCHE...We go around sabotaging Mako reactors. They are sucking the life blood from the earth and we have to stop them!"

"Revenge?" I look at her and see her flush. I smile and laugh. "I can relate. You hate ShinRa...i understand that! I mean...after what they did..."

"Yes...i suppose I do hate ShinRa...but it's not just about me anymore. It's about the whole planet...we have another job coming up soon, help us."

I think for a moment. "Money? How much will I be getting?"

She looks at me. "Money? You mean you don't want to do it for the planet?"

I shrug and rub the back of my head again. "I'm not interested in the planet. I don't really care...I need to eat though and survive. That's what living is. Surviving. That's all I care about."

She tenses slightly, obviously offended. "Fine...if that's what it takes. We'll pay you plenty."

"Good, then you have your guy." I hold out my gloved hand and she shakes it.

The mission went well, I met the other members of AVALANCHE. Barrett, a big man with a gun attached to the end of his arm, Wedge, a bit of a wuss but very clever when it came to mechanics and engineering, Biggs, also an engineer, and their friend Jesse. Barrett spent his time trying to lecture me on the importance of saving the planet but to be honest...i couldn't care less.

When we reached the centre of the reactor Barrett asked me to set the bomb while he kept look out. I was a little annoyed at having to do it myself but I stepped toward the metal pipe anyway.

That annoying high pitched buzzing sound! My head...

_Be careful._

I put a hand to my hair wincing at the pain.

_This isn't a normal reactor._

"Hey, Cloud...What's wrong?"

Barrett's voice brought me back to my senses. "Huh?"

"C'mon! Hurry up and get it done!"

"Oh...Yeh...sorry." I kneel down and begin programming the bomb. It was simple enough.

We got out after having to battle some annoying scorpion shaped robot, but we managed it. Together we destroyed the reactor, at least temporarily. Escaping the exploding reactor had been exhilarating! I hadn't felt so alive since...

_**Five years ago...in the old ShinRa mansion. **_

_**In the library with Sephiroth...**_

Well, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like that. I had helped Jessie out of a tight spot which seemed to have impressed her.

We were forced to split up and go in different directions back to sector eight station. I walked alone through the streets of Midgar. My mind wandered as I walked, I made my way slowly through the streets avoiding contact with ShinRa forces. Suddenly I see a girl. She had long, light brown hair and a pink dress, in her hands she clutched a basket of flowers.

_...Something about a flower girl...something important...not supposed to forget..._

"_**If you see..."**_

_What is this nagging feeling?_

"_**...Say Hi, for me."**_

"Excuse me?" I stop and look at her. "What happened?" she indicated the men running around like headless chickens.

I pause a moment. "Nothing...hey listen..."

"What is it?"

"No...never mind..." What was wrong with me...there was something I was supposed to do...if I met a flower girl in the slums...wasn't there? But why?

"What? Tell me!" She shakes her head with a small smile then lifts her basket toward me. "Uh...would you like to buy some flowers? They're only one Gil."

"Yeh...sure why not." I say with grin. She hands me one and I hand her the money. Hey, it was only change.

"Thank you." She says with a small bow of her head before wandering off. I look after her for a moment. Something...something I'm missing...I shake my head. Can't be that important.

I walk into an open area and hear someone shout, spinning around I see blue clad infantry men running toward me. I feel a smile on my lips as I run in the opposite direction. Insistent bastards! Before I knew it I was surrounded. The only way of escape lay behind me...the railway tracks. I smile and glance back over my shoulder. I could hear the train. "I don't have time to be messin' around with you guys..." The train whizzes through the tunnel making the ground shake slightly and I turn and jump onto it. I feel myself laugh as I crouch low on the top so I'm not going to get blown off. This was exciting. Thrilling. The idea of being so close to danger is as good as...

_**Sephiroth.**_

...Being in a huge battle. Death is so close but if you slip right through his fingers it leaves you feeling more alive than ever before. It's addictive.

I run along the length of the train finding a cargo hold. I lean down and, while gripping a piece of metal with my legs, slide back the compartment door. Quickly I pull my legs over and swing myself through the door landing neatly on one knee. I look up to see myself staring at Barrett. Everyone seems very surprised to see me.

"Looks like I'm a little late." I mutter with a grin.

"You damn right you late!" Barrett shouts. "Come waltzing in here makin' a big scene!"

"It's no big deal...just what I always do." I reply running my fingers through my hair. Why were they acting so surprised? I was in SOLDIER at one point, what the hell did they expect?

"Shit!" Barrett curses. "Havin' everyone worried like that you don't give a damn 'bout no one but yourself!"

It was almost laughable. Worried? Why should they be worried? "Hmmm? You were worried about me!"

"Wha'?" Barrett waves his arms around. "I'm takin' it outta your money hot stuff!"

That was uncalled for. Bastard. After a moment, in which I glare at Barrett, he makes everyone move off back down the train. Jessie stops and closes the door before turning to me and lowering her head a little, I see her cheeks flush slightly.

"Oh...Cloud, your face is pitch black!" She takes a handkerchief from her pocket and rubs my face with it. "There we go..." I watch her turn and walk a little way up the train. She turned back to me again. "Say, thanks for helping me back there at the reactor." She smiles at me and moves to the next compartment.

We ride the train to its last stop; sector 7 the train graveyard.

We return to 7th Heaven I stand outside the door a moment while everyone else goes in, I bring the flower from my pocket looking down at its yellow petals curiously. It was a beautiful thing, bright yellow on the outside of the petals, gradually fading into white toward the centre and the leaves a perfect green. I liked it. It was something so fragile, so pretty and it had been found in the centre of an entirely metal city. I looked up and entered the bar. The rest of AVALANCHE were waiting for me. Wedge was sat eating while Biggs sat beside him. Tifa was stood behind the bar washing glasses with the help of a small child. Barrett was speaking to Jessie who looked up when I entered and gave me a smile. She was pretty cute. I walked over to the bar and leaned on it while Tifa turned to face me I smiled and held out the flower. She looked at it and her face lit up.

"For me?" I nodded. She took it gently and brought it to her nose and inhaling the scent. "Cloud...thank you. It's lovely." I took it from her fingers and slid it behind her ear gently. Her cheeks flushed slightly and she smiled. "How do I look?"

"Radiant." I mutter with a smile.

"Hey, did you get into a fight with Barrett?"

I sigh and rub the back of my head. "We argued."

Tifa shakes her head with a small smile. "When you were little you were always getting into fights...maybe you have grown up a bit."

I laugh.

She giggled and turned away. After a while we were called down into a secret meeting place where we discussed the next mission. Barrett hated me. That was obvious, he certainly made his distrust of me clear enough. It was almost laughable. Why would I betray them when they were paying me? Idiots. I quit SOLDIER...I was never going to go back.

Once we were down on the lower levels of the bar Barrett called me over. "Yo, Cloud there's somthin' I wanna ask you." I fold my arms across my chest and nod. "Was there anyone from SOLDIER fightin' us today?"

I shake my head. "None, I'm positive."

"You sound pretty sure."

I nod my head. "If there was anyone from SOLDIER you wouldn't be standing here now."

"Don't go thinking you so bad jus' coz you were in SOLDIER!"

I walked away a little and turned my back on him. I was only telling him the truth. SOLDIER were the elite, the best of the best. He wouldn't have stood a chance against them. But I say none of this, it would have just caused problems.

"yeh, you're strong..." Barrett say's after throwing a punch at Wedge. "Probably all them guy's from SOLDIER are. But don't forget that your skinny ass is workin' for AVALANCHE now! Don't get no idea's about hanging on to ShinRa now!"

I feel a flash of anger and turn to him. "Stayin' with ShinRa? You asked me a question and I answered it...that's all." I make and impatient noise and walk up to him. He was taller than me and much more heavily built but I had an advantage; I was stronger, faster and more agile. I stand on tippy toe and look him in the eyes. "I'm going upstairs...I want to talk about my money." I hiss. I am angry. What made him better than me? Just because I used to be SOLDIER did not mean I wanted to return!

Barrett meets my eyes and the tension rises. Everyone else looks from me to Barrett and back again. "Shucks...Money..."

I turn away and see Tifa running toward me. "Cloud...wait."

"Tifa, let him go!" Barrett say's angrily. "Looks like he still misses ShinRa."

I am so angry it almost hurt. I grit my teeth and clench my hands into fists. I needed to control my temper or I will end up hitting him. I spin around. "Shut up." I keep my voice low, a warning. "I don't care about ShinRa or SOLDIER! But..." I walk away from them all so my back is to the jukebox. "Don't get me wrong. I don't care about AVALANCHE or the planet for that matter!" I get the lift back up to the bar. I am furious. My hands shake at my sides. Bastard! Why did he go and have to push all my buttons? Why did he wind me up so badly? I walk toward the door, I needed some air. I needed to calm down. Suddenly I hear the lift go and someone grabs my arm, I turn to see Tifa looking worried.

"Listen, Cloud...I'm asking you, please join us."

I walk away with a shake of my head. How did she expect me to work for a bunch of people who didn't trust me? "Sorry Tifa..." I take a step away but she takes my arm again. I can hear the desperation in her voice.

"The planet is dying. Slowly but surely it's dying. Someone has to do something."

I sigh and turn to her. "So let Barrett and his buddies do something about it. It's got nothin' to do with me." I turn away again walking to the exit.

"So...You're really leaving?" Tifa asks, her voice is tight and I can hear the sadness in it. "You're just going to walk right out ignoring your childhood friend?"

I turn around again. "What...?" I sigh and rub my head. "...Sorry." I mutter in apology. I hadn't meant to hurt her.

She smiled at me slightly, "...you forgot the promise, too."

"Promise?" I frown in confusion.

She looked at the floor. I had upset her...again. "So...you really did forget. Remember, Cloud...it was seven years ago..."

I sigh and close my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and tipping my head back. Was there...something I was forgetting?

A beautiful sea of stars. The well in centre of Nibelheim. Tifa sat beside me...

"The well...do you remember?" Tifa muttered.

"Yeh..." I say slowly. It was all coming back to me. "Back then...I thought you'd never come and I was getting a little cold." I giggle slightly. "You were...wearing a blue dress..." I hear her soft laugh.

"_Sorry I'm late...You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"_

"_Come this spring I'm leaving this town for Midgar."_

"_All the boy's are leaving the town..."_

"_But I'm different from all of them...I'm not just going to find a job. I want to join SOLDIER. I'm going to be the best there is just like Sephiroth!"_

"_Sephiroth...the great Sephiroth...Isn't it hard to join SOLDIER?"_

"_I probably won't be able to come back to this town for a while."_

I smile. "You laughed...I remember you laughing...I thought you were taking the piss..."

"_...Huh?"_

"_Will you be in the news papers if you do well?"_

"_I'll try."_

"_Hey, why don't we make a promise? Umm, if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... You come save me, all right?" _

"_What?"_

"_Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once."_

"_What?"_

"_Come on! Promise me!"_

"_All right... I promise."_

"You remember now don't you...?" Tifa said quietly.

I nod and open my eyes. It had been a long time ago...but the memory was foggy...strange. I look down at my feet. "I'm...not a hero and I'm not famous...I...can't keep that promise."

"But you got your child hood dream didn't you? You joined SOLDIER." She looked away for a moment, her voice told me she was unsure about something.

She stepped away with a smile. "So, come on...you've got to keep your promise."

I returned her smile. Suddenly Barrett jumps up from below.

"Wait a sec, big time SOLDIER." He digs in his pocket. "A promise is a promise...here."

He throws me a small purse of Gil. I open it. 1500. I frown and look back up. "This is my pay? Don't make me laugh!"

Tifa smiled brilliantly. "What...? Then you'll...?"

"You got the next mission lined up? I'll do it for 3000."

"What?" Barrett shouts.

Tifa moves to his side to calm him down. I smirk slightly. This was fun. They begin whispering to each other while I stand by and fold my arms across my chest watching the exchange.

Barrett finally looks up at me. "2000."

Tifa walks over to me. "Thanks Cloud."

I would stay. I would fight. They were paying me weren't they?


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **I know the words and stuff have been ripped directly from the game but I have added my own stuff! I hope people are still reading this! Maybe I've taken it a bit too far? I dunno...I'll skip a lot of the game as quickly as I can and only include the important bits! So, if it's a bit jumpy thats why. I mean, if your reading this your gunna know the story so there's no need for me to put in most of the dialogue. Please review! What do you think of this chapter?

WARNING: Sephiroth is at it again! Haha...he's a pervert!

Chapter 20

Inside reactor 5. We made it with little trouble, although it was a close one on the train. I see the long metal walkway to the pipe and we walk up to it.

Ugh...That horrible ringing noise! What is that? My head feels like it's going to explode. I grip my hair tightly gasping in air. The pain is incredible. I fall to my knees before collapsing completely.

_That insistent heart beat. _

_This...isn't the reactor I was just in...where am i? Is that...Tifa?_

"_Papa...? Sephiroth!" She's crying... "Sephiroth did this to you didn't he?"_

_What's...going on? Why am I seeing this?_

"_Sephiroth...ShinRa...Mako reactors...everything! I hate them all!"_

_The pain! My head...! What is happening to me?_

"Damn man! Get a hold of yourself!"

I open my eyes and blink a few times. What had just happened? Why was I on the floor? I see Tifa walk over to me. The heartbeat fades and I sit up on my knees.

"You alright?" Tifa asks.

"T...Tifa?" I look up at her.

"Mmmm?" She looks at me with a frown.

I put a hand to my head slowly. "Nnn...No...Forget...come on...let's hurry." I stand up and ignore the strange looks the other two are giving me. I walk over to the pipe and set the bomb. Escape is fairly easy, we run through the reactor without problems. When we reach an intersection of walkways we are suddenly surrounded by red garbed men.

Barrett backs off. "ShinRa soldiers?" He exclaims. "Shit! What the hell's going on?"

"...A trap..." I mutter quietly.

We turn as we hear footsteps. A man wearing a red suite walks toward us. Barrett moves forward slightly. "Pre...President ShinRa!"

Tifa moves so that she stands slightly behind me. "Why is the president here?"

"Hmmm...So you must all be that...What was it?"

I hear Barrett's growl of anger. "AVALANCHE! And don't ya forget it! And you're president ShinRa, huh?"

I walk forward and face the man. "Long time no see, president."

He frowns at me. "Long time no see? Oh...you. You're the one who quit SOLDIER and joined AVALANCHE. I knew you'd been exposed to Mako from the look in your eyes..." He smiles nastily. "Tell me, traitor...what was your name again?"

"Cloud." I reply. Why didn't he remember me? Odd.

"Forgive me for asking but I can't be expected to remember each person's name. Unless you become another Sephiroth. Yes, Sephiroth...he was brilliant, perhaps too brilliant."

I step back. What was this pain in my chest? Why was it getting so hard to breathe? "Sephiroth...?"

Barrett interrupts but I'm hardly listening. My hand grips the front of my top just above my heart. It hurts. Half formed images flicker through my mind. What...what was this? I feel sick. Suddenly I am dragged from my thoughts by the snap of fingers. I look around to see Tifa looking to her left. A strange mechanical buzzing fills the hall.

"The hell is this?" Barrett said suddenly as the machine appeared and got between us. I was separated from them but that was fine.

"Meet "Airbuster" A techno soldier. Our weapon development department created him." ShinRa said with a laugh. "I'm sure the data he'll extract from your dead bodies will be of great use to us in future experiments."

Experiments? I feel sick again. I look at the machine. "...Techno-soldier?"

A helicopter arrives making me turn around. I see the president move toward it. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

I run toward him. "Wait! President!" I watch as he flies away. What was I going to ask him? Why did I try and stop him?

"Yo! Cloud we gotta do something about him!"

I stare up at the departing helicopter a moment longer. Tifa screams.

"Help, Cloud!"

I run toward them as the machine advances. "This is from SOLDIER?" Tifa asks.

I shake my head. "No way! It's just a machine!"

With the help of Barrett and Tifa we destroyed the machine. Electricity. Always their weakness.

Suddenly it begins to shake. I fall sideways into the railing and see Tifa and Barrett holding on to things. Then it explodes taking the walkway with it. I am thrown into the air and fall toward the gap only just managing to hold onto the edge. I look up.

_A face...blurry...distorted...holding out a hand..._

I suffer from a strong sense of de ja vu...Barrett tries to get Tifa to leave. They should go. The place was about to go up in flames.

Barrett asks me if I'm going to be alright. What can I say? "You worry about yourselves! I'm alright, but take care of Tifa..."

"Alright...I'm sorry about all this..."

I turn my head to see Barrett looking regretful. I smile, a strained smile, but a smile none the less. "Stop talkin' like this is the end!"

"Alright then...later!"

I feel the rumble. The place explodes and shakes me free of my tentative grasp. I feel my fingers slip and let go, pointless to hold on anyway. I hear Tifa's scream.

Darkness. Pitch dark.

_...you alright?_

_Can you hear me?_

"_Yeh..."_

_Back then...you could just get by with skinned knees..._

_..."What do you mean by back then?"_

_What about now? Can you get up?_

"_What do you mean by "That time"...What about now?"_

_...Don't worry about me just worry about yourself._

"_I'll...give it a try."_

"Oh! It moved!"

_How about that?_

_Take it slow now...little by little..._

"Hello? Hello?"

"_...I know...Hey, who are you?"_

"Hello? Hello?"

I opened my eyes slowly and found myself looking up into a blue sky. I blinked slowly. Sitting up I shook my head to clear it. What was that? Strange voices in my head...

"You ok?" I turn to see a pretty girl stood behind me. "This is a church in the sector five slums." She answered my unasked question. "You suddenly fell through the roof! It really gave me a scare!"

"...I came crashing down?"

"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall, you must be really lucky."

I lift a hand to my head still feeling a bit dazed. "Flower bed...is this yours?" I stand and turn to face her properly. "I'm sorry about that." The flowers at my feet were bruised.

"That's all right. The flowers here are resilient because this is a sacred place." I watch as the girl walks to the other side of the bed. "They say you can't grow flowers and grass in Midgar. But for some reason the flowers have no trouble growing here." She paused and turned her back. After a brief moment she turns back to me. "I love it here." She smiles and bends down to tend to her flowers. After a moment she looks up. "...So, we meet again." I frown in confusion. Did I know her? "You don't remember me?"

Then it hits me. "Yeh...i remember ...You were the flower girl."

"Yes! That's right." She laughed and looked at me closely. "Say, do you have any materia?"

"Yeh...some. Nowadays you can find Materia anywhere."

"But mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing!" She laughed. It was a pretty laugh that made me smile.

"...Good for nothing? You probably just don't know how to use it."

She shook her head. "No, I do...it just doesn't do anything. I feel safe just having it, it was my mother's." She smiles sweetly. "Say, I feel like talking. Do you feel up to it? After all, here we are meeting again, right?"

"I don't mind." I smile at her.

"Wait here, I've got to check on my flowers. It'll be just a minute."

I watch her walk around straitening the flowers that I had inadvertently flattened. Then I walk over and she stands. "Oh! Now that you mention it, we don't know each other's names do we? My name is Aeris, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."

I nod, "The names Cloud. Me...? I do a little bit of everything."

"Oh! A jack of all trades."

"Yeh, I do whatever's needed." She began to laugh. "What's so funny? What are you laughing at?"

She stifles her giggles and shakes her head. "Sorry...I just..."

I see a man in the door way. Dark suit and long red hair. I walk toward him.

"Cloud...don't let it get to you!"

I turn and shrug. I was only going to see what that guy wanted. I return to her side and I see her eyes look over my shoulder to the man. "Say, Cloud...have you ever been a body guard? You do _do_ everything right?"

I rub my hair, flattening the spikes. "...yeh...that's right."

"Then, get me out of here. Take me home."

"Ok, I'll do it...but it'll cost you."

She smiled and took my arm. "Well, then...let's see...How about if I go out with you once?"

I smile. "I'll hold you to that." I walk to the man in the suit and put a hand on my hip. "I don't know who you are but...You don't know me?"

_...I know you._

"Oh yeh...I know you. That uniform..."

The man turns to Aeris as infantry men run up behind him. "Hey, sis, this one's a little weird."

"Shut up, you ShinRa spy!" I spit angrily. Turks, they always annoyed me.

The Infantry men begin to laugh, "Reno, want him taken out?"

Reno...that name...do I know this guy? So familiar!

The Turk turned to the soldiers. "I haven't decided yet."

Aeris cries out, "Don't fight here you'll ruin the flowers!" She runs toward the back of the church and I follow. "The exit is back there."

Together we flee the Turk and his men. We run through the ruined church jumping over obstacles until we reach the outside. We sit on the roof looking around. The place is full of rubble.

Aeris laughs, "They're looking for me again."

I frown slightly. "You mean this isn't the first time they've been after you?"

She sighed and brought her legs up under her chin. "No." She said in a small voice.

I lean back putting my hands behind me. "They're the Turks."

"Hmmm..." She hummed in agreement.

"The Turks are an organization of ShinRa...they scout for possible candidates for SOLDIER."

She looks at me as I stand. "This violently? I thought they were kidnapping someone!"

I run my fingers through my hair absently as my eyes search the area. "They're also involved in a lot of dirty stuff on the side." I pause and look down at her. "Spying, murder...you know..."

"They look like it."

"But, why are they after you? There must be a reason right?"

She looks away, "No, not really. I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER."

"Maybe you do...you want to join?"

"I don't know, but I don't want to get caught by those people!"

I smile. "Then, let's go." I hold out my hand and she takes it.

We make our way through the rubble. It's hard going. Jumping from one pile of junk to another, after a while she falls behind, finally though we reach her house. It's small but sunlight streams down highlighting large flower beds. I take a moment to admire the scene. Then she takes my arm, and guides me inside.

"I'm home, mother." She said as a woman walks out from the kitchen wiping damp hands on her apron. She smiles at me. "This is Cloud, my bodyguard."

"Bodyguard? You mean you were followed again? Are you alright? You're not hurt are you?"

Aeris nods. "I'm alright, I had Cloud with me."

Her mother turns to me with a small smile. "Thank you Cloud."

Aeris turns to me. "So, what are you going to do now?"

I think about it. "...Is sector seven far from here? I want to go to Tifa's bar."

I see Aeris frown slightly. "Is...Tifa a girl?"

"Yeah..." I say with a nod. What was she getting at?

"A girl...friend?" She asks with a small smile.

I lower my head. "Girlfriend?" I mutter. What do I say to that? Why was she interested? Did she...like me? I smile, maybe I should test her. "Yeah, she is."

Her face fell slightly, "Oh...how...nice." After a brief pause she smiles. "Let's see...sector seven? I'll show you the way."

I shake my head. "You gotta be kidding? You wanna put yourself in danger again?"

"I'm used to it." She said.

"Used to it?" I frown at her. "Well, I dunno...getting help from a girl..."

"A girl! What do you mean by that? You expect me to just sit by and listen after hearing you say something like that?" She shakes her head. "Mother! I'm taking Cloud to Sector seven! Be back in a while."

Her mother returns from upstairs. "But dear...I give up! You never listen once you've made up your mind. But if you must go, why don't you go tomorrow, it's getting late now."

"Yeh, your right mum."

"Aeris, please go make the bed."

Once Aeris was upstairs her mother turns to me. "That glow in your eyes...you're from SOLDIER aren't you?"

I nod. "Yeah...rather, I used to be."

She sighed. "I don't know how to say this but...Would you please leave here tonight without telling Aeris?"

I nod. It was going to be dangerous out on the streets. She would be better off staying here. I met Aeris upstairs and, after wishing me goodnight, she went into her own room. I went into the spare bedroom and lay down with my arm behind my head. She was strange. She seemed to have this mysterious aura surrounding her as if...as if she weren't entirely who she was pretending to be. I yawned. I was tired. Slowly my eyes began to close.

_...seem pretty tired..._

"_..."_

_...I haven't slept in a bed like this in a long time..._

"_...Oh, yeah."_

_Ever since that time..._

_Huh? Is this my old house? That's my mother...what's going on?_

"_Oh...my! Look at how much you've grown! It's been such a long time! Here...sit down...have you been eating properly? I hope you haven't been getting into trouble! Are you hungry? I can fix you something..."_

_I sit on the sofa. "No...Mum...I'm fine. They've been looking after me..." I stare at the floor._

_I hear her sigh. "You look too pale and too thin...are you sure...?"_

"_Mum! I said I'm fine..." I sit back and stare at the ceiling._

_She sits in the sofa opposite and looks at me, her blue eyes filled with concern. "You know...Tifa has been worrying about you...she comes around at least once a day to see if I have had any news."_

_I look away. "I...don't want to see her..."_

"_Oh...Cloud! You're sixteen now...maybe it's time you got a girlfriend? Someone who can look after you and make sure you don't get into trouble..."_

"_No! I don't...I don't need anyone...I'm fine."_

_..._

_Memories? Am I dreaming?_

I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling. "I must've fallen asleep..." I mutter to myself. I stand up and creep silently from the bedroom. Slowly I walk down the stairs and out the house. Yeah, I should be alright on my own. Once outside I stretch. Weird girl. Oh well, I'll probably never see her again...although she did owe me a date.

But I did meet her again, she caught me trying to escape. She came with me as far as the park outside Wall Market. We sat on the slide together and talked quietly.

She sighs and I see a small smile on her face as if she were remembering something happy. She tucked her legs beneath her. "What rank were you?" She asked after a minute.

"Rank?"

"You know, in SOLDIER?"

"Oh, I was..." I tip my head back looking up at the huge plate. Again, slight pain like a small electrical shock right through my head. "First Class."

She turns away and I see a deep sadness in her face. "Just the same as him."

"The same as who?"

She smiled shyly. "My first boyfriend."

I watch her from the corner of my eye. "You were...serious?"

She shakes her head. "No, but I liked him for a while."

"I probably knew him. What was his name?"

"It doesn't really matter."

I thought it best to let the subject go. We sit in silence for a moment until the doors to Sector seven opened. I turned and saw Tifa stood in the back of a Chocobo drawn cart. She was wearing what would possibly be the sluttiest dress I had ever seen. I was surprised. Aeris ran after her and I followed.

Tifa was being taken to a mansion, to a man by the name of Don Corneo. A rich man with...a weakness for pretty girls. Aeris had a harebrained scheme to dress me as a girl so we could get inside and find Tifa. We got in after running up and down Wall Market searching for just the right outfit and wig for me. While wearing the dress I felt that strange sense of de ja vu again as if I had done it before. I stared at myself in the full length mirror. More feminine than a lot of girls I had seen. I touch the glass gently with my finger tips. The memory of lips...i frown. What was going on? Were these memories? I lift my fingers to my lips slowly. I shake my head slightly. I was going insane.

Once we had infiltrated the mansion we were met by the Don himself. We lined up and were inspected. I kept my eyes down demurely and my hands clasped before me. He was a fat man and when he stopped before me I found it very difficult not to punch him. His finger gently lifted my face so that I was forced to meet his eyes. Eventually he chose me.

I was taken to his room, an elaborate playboy mansion style thing with grotesque decor. A man with absolutely no taste. He sat on the bed and stared at me. "Ahhh, we're finally alone. Alright pussycat, come to daddy!"

Enough to make me want to vomit. Fat, ugly and no taste. Great. Stuck in a stuffy room with a man who thinks he's god's gift. I hate my life sometimes. I walk over to the bed and he leans over to get a better look. "You're so cute, I never get tired of looking at you." I'm a man! I'm a man! I'm a man...Damn it! There is nothing cute about me! "Do you...like me too?"

I have to think about my answer. I mean...obviously I don't! Yuck. But I don't wanna piss him off before he can give me information. I sigh inwardly and put on the most seductive smile I can muster. "Of course." I mutter softly.

"You sure do know how to make a guy feel good!" He exclaimed happily. "Then...what do you want to do?"

Again, another question I have to consider carefully. I giggle girlishly, "Whatever you want to...daddy." What am I doing? Saying weird stuff! Acting like a girl! I feel like I've done this before...

"Oh man...I can't stand it! All right...then..." he jumps toward me and leans close. I can smell his breath and it takes every inch of my self control not to punch him so hard I break his face. "Give me a kiss! A kiss!"

Worse and worse. What am I supposed to do now? I give up. Play along. "All right..." I lean forward.

"Just a minute!"

We both turn to the door. Oh thank every God and goddess in existence! I am saved! Tifa, Aeris...I love you guys! Tifa turns to me with an odd expression. "Cloud...were you really...?"

I shake my head quickly. No. I would have gotten out of it somehow! I jump over to the girls and pull the dress off. I am wearing a t-shirt and my trousers underneath. That's better. I am a guy!

"A man? What's going on?" Corneo asks in a shocked tone of voice. I can't help but smirk. Fool.

We question him threatening his crown jewels. He wimps out and spills everything. Heidigger was planning on blowing the plate to crush AVALANCHE! That would involve killing hundreds of innocent people. We couldn't let that happen.

When it came time for us to leave we were dumped into the sewers. Luckily we managed to fight our way free.

The plate...the plate was destroyed. We couldn't stop it. Aeris was taken by the Turks. People died. Wedge, Biggs and Jessie. All crushed. Hundreds of death's all because I...failed. A failure. I failed. Useless! Useless pathetic...

**Puppet.**

...waste of space. But, I can't give up. I have to get Aeris back. No one knows what ShinRa would do to her if they had her in their grasp for too long.

We went back to Aeris's house to see her mother. Something had stirred my curiosity. One word that I may have heard before: Ancient.

I wanted to find out more.

I hear a voice in my head and fall to my knees as if I had been clubbed. A voice I had not heard in five years.

_In my veins courses the blood of the ancients._

"Sephiroth...?"

It had been his voice but whether it was memory or not, I had no idea.

After finding out what I wished to know from Aeris's mother we went to ShinRa HQ. We managed to find her. She was being held in the Laboratories. I followed Hojo all the way to floor 67. Once in his lab we hide behind some boxes next to a big metal tank. I watch him closely. A lab assistant walks up to him as he inspects a strange red coloured creature that looked a bit like a wolf with a flaming tail.

"Is that today's specimen?" The man asks.

Hojo turned to him clasping his hands behind his back. "Yes, we're starting right away. Raise it to the upper level."

Once he had gone we all came out of our hiding places. I watched as Tifa examined the creature in the glass container for a moment until I felt all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I turn around slowly and stare at the metal thing behind me. Something makes me move closer, curiosity? No...more like...i'm being called. I read the words printed on the door. "Jenova..."

I can't look away. I lean in close to the little glass window and see it. An awful headless monster. I take a few steps back. My hearts beating too fast. That creature...I know I've seen it somewhere before! I know...

That awful ringing noise again, coupled with that heart beat. I put my hands to my head to try and block it out. What was happening? I gasp and fall to my knees before collapsing completely. After a moment I sit up as Tifa runs to my side. I take a shuddering breath. "Jenova...Sephiroth's...so, they've brought it here."

"Cloud, be strong." Tifa whispers.

I can't tear my eyes away from it. "Did you see it?" I gasp.

"See what?" Barrett asks.

I swallow nervously. That thing is...awful. I can't stop myself from shaking. "It's moving...still alive?"

Barrett takes a look at it. "Where's its fucking head?" He exclaims loudly. "This whole things stupid. Let's keep going."

After a second I shake my head to clear it and stand slowly. Yes, we had others to think about. I couldn't dwell on that...thing. Before we leave I take one last glance at it. It draws me like a magnet but I have to think of Aeris...that's what's important.

Once we had managed to rescue Aeris after battling one of Hojo's awful experiments we make our escape along with a new companion, the red wolf creature who we called Red XIII. We make it to the lifts and as I turn to press the down button someone else enters after me. I turn to see a man in a blue suit. "H...hey! What is it?" I ask running my fingers through my hair.

The Turk points up. "Would you press up please?"

I feel myself laugh softly at the stupidity of it all. "Turks? Must be a trap."

Another Turk enters the lift. Tseng. The man who had stolen Aeris. "It must have been a real thrill for you...did you enjoy it?"

"Ggh..." What else can I say? I look away knowing we were caught.

We were arrested and dragged up to the President's office. Once we had lined up before the man's huge desk I turn to either side of me. "You all got caught too?" I can't help but put on a bitter smile. I turn to the President, "Where's Aeris?"

The man leans forward and puts his elbows before him, resting his chin on his hands. "In a safe place. She's the last surviving Ancient." He stands and walks around his desk. He begins giving a lecture on what the Ancients were but I find my mind running ahead of me. I had to get us all safe away from this place...how could I find a way to escape? I wiggle my hands in the cuffs at my wrists to see how tight they were but no hope there. After he was done giving his speech we were escorted to some cells that had been built in the lab. I was put in a cell with Tifa. I paced up and down restlessly for a moment, while Tifa lay on the bed with her hands behind her head.

The others are in cells either side of me. I comfort Tifa telling her that I'd find a way out...even though I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. Finally after we spoke for a while I slump down onto the floor. I come so close to losing any hope of ever escaping. We were being held captive in the lab's...there was no telling what kind of sick things they were going to do to us. The thought made me feel sick. I couldn't allow my friends to go through that...we had to escape! Eventually I begin hearing everyone's soft breathing and feel my eyes drift close.

I am dragged from sleep by the feeling of hands on my chest and face. I moan softly and open my eyes. I find myself staring up into a pair of cat's eyes. I let out a gasp of horror. Sephiroth. He smiled down at me, "Long time no see Cloud."

His voice sends shivers through my body. It can't be real. Impossible! I killed him! I saw him fall! I feel his leather clad fingers run down the side of my face and I try and move away. Something clanks loudly and I turn to see my wrist handcuffed to the radiator. I shake it again before staring back at him. "Why?" I whisper.

"Because I knew you would try and escape. I cannot have my little puppet running away from me while I have my fun." His hands run through my hair. "You've grown up." He muttered.

"It's been five years...what do you expect?" I hiss angrily. "Let me go!"

"Hush! Keep your voice down! Do you want to wake your new little friends?" he laughs softly as he slowly lifts my shirt. "Ah...did you miss me?" He muttered as his tongue slid across my chest.

"Nnnn..." I wince slightly as his teeth close around my nipple. "Stop...what're you...doing?" I try and push him away from me with my free hand but he grabs my wrist and squeezes it so tightly it cracks. I muffle my cry of pain in my shoulder before gasping and turning back to him. He looks deep into my eyes...and I fall. My body relaxes and I see his triumphant smile. I feel my body heat at his touch. I was his. I had no escape. Just give in to him...give in to the promise of pleasure. Give in to the feeling of being whole. Why was he doing this? When had he been able to control everything right down to my very own desires?

"Don't worry, Cloud...If you don't make any noise no one will hear you and wake up." His lips meet mine in a demanding kiss. I gasp in a breath as he moved down my neck leaving a small bite mark on my pale skin. "You really have changed haven't you?" He muttered looking into my eyes. He smiled slightly. "But of course...you wouldn't know would you? Ah, poor little Cloud...hearing voices lately?"

"Ah...Sephi...roth..." I gasp as he moved lower slowly spreading my legs and unbuttoning my trousers. I reach down and grab his wrist as he slides his hand into my trousers. "Stop...please...don't..."

I try and wiggle away from his touch but I can't. How did he know I had been hearing voices? What was happening to me? I look into his face and see that cold smile. The handcuff clangs against the radiator at my side. I bite my lower lip against the moans of pleasure that try and escape. I'm hot. Too hot. I'm burning...

"Cloud...you belong to me. You are mine." I feel his breath against my neck as he whispers softly into my ear.

Sensible thought was becoming difficult as his hand stroked my penis. I gasped and tipped my head back against the wall. It was too much. Suddenly he ceased his ministrations and forced me up onto my knees so I faced the wall. My hands gripped the heater tightly as he pulled my trousers down. I feel him pressed against me and gasp. My eyes widen as he pushes inside me. I can't hold back the cry of pain. I feel his gloved hand cover my mouth and his tongue on my ear. My eyes sting with unwanted tears. It hurts. But...the pain seemed familiar...almost comforting. I knew this sting. I knew these hands. I knew this sensation, as if hot lava were flowing through me.

"Shhh, Cloud...you don't want the others to wake up and see this do you? How embarrassing would that be for you?" He chuckled softly. I let out a muffled moan as he thrust deeper. He was moving so slowly. Too slowly. My body began to tremble. I was unable to stop the sobs that were wrenched from me with each movement. And yet...it still felt right. I felt complete. As if I had spent my whole life searching for this one moment. As if this was what was meant to be. His other hand gripped my hip and I could feel it tighten with each slow, painful thrust. I whimpered. I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to go away. But I also wanted him to continue, I didn't want to lose this feeling that I had found the missing part of myself. My hands tightened almost painfully on the radiator as he increased his pace. I could hear his heavy breathing. My knees hurt from holding the same position for too long. Finally he removed his hand from my mouth as the pain began to retreat. I gasped softly as his hand slid down my exposed back and took my erection, gripping it tightly. He pushed deeper forcing a moan from me as pleasure ripped through my body.

"Oh? You're making some interesting...noises..." He whispered. "Are you feeling good?"

"Ah...yes...Sephi...roth...more...please..." I realise vaguely that I'm begging but I don't care. At that moment the only thing that mattered was the ever increasing pleasure. Wave after wave of heat washed through me, the only sounds in the room were the others quiet breathing and my own moans coupled with Sephiroth's heavy panting. I reached up and planted a hand on the wall above me lowering my head. His hand tightened unexpectedly on my erection making me cry out loudly. I felt his grip tighten on my hip and he gasped quietly. Hot liquid spilled into me sending me over the edge.

All thought ceased. "Sephiroth..." I moaned as he suddenly pushed deeper one last time. My orgasm was intense. My vision blurred slightly and my mind went blank. I felt whole. I was a complete person. Nothing else mattered except that the moment last forever. All too soon it was over. He pulled out and left me to sink to the floor gasping helplessly. He did himself back up and crouched before me lifting my face up to his.

"Why are you crying?" He muttered. I shook my head slightly unable to speak. The tears streamed down my cheeks, I had no energy to wipe them away. I felt lost, and cold...completely alone and vulnerable. I tried to cling onto the last feeling of being with him. Of being one with Sephiroth but it was already fading. I felt his finger wipe away the tears from my eyes and he stood again. "We will meet again. Until then, Cloud..." He faded. He did not walk away. He faded. I blinked a few times and felt the handcuff on my wrist spring open. I brought my slightly numb arm close to my body and slowly began pulling my trousers up and sorting myself out. The door was open. He was going to let us escape. I wiped my face dry and stood shakily. I felt uncomfortable but I ignored it. I had no time to wash, we had to get out of here.

"Cloud...are you alright?"

I jump slightly at the voice, it was soft and sleepy sounding. It was Aeris from the next cell. I try to regain my composure. "Y..yeah...I'm fine..." I mutter. I turn to the door and walk through it trying to hide my limp. It hurt to walk. I could feel the wetness in my pants but I had to ignore it for now. I'd get a chance to sort myself out later, for now we had to get out and fast. The smell of blood was everywhere.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: **So, we near the end of disk two! Mwahahaha! My favourite scene in the whole game will be rewritten in the next chapter! I added bits to this one and skimmed the boring bits, hope you like! XD (I'm sorry for all those Cait Sith lovers out there but...i hate him. I want to kill him. Why can't Reeve just join 'em himself? Why send a giant stuffed cat? Grrrr!)

Chapter 21

Fighting. Battle after battle. Meeting new friends...joining together, working as a team...I quickly grew to like them. All of them, including Barrett...even though we argued more often than not. Things got hard.

We escaped ShinRa. We fled, out into the world and I began my diligent search for the one man I hated most. The man who had stolen everything from me. The man who had destroyed my home, my family...

Sephiroth. This craving...i can't get rid of it. I had to see him. I wanted to kill him but at the same time I wanted him to take me again. My mind was in turmoil...what was I supposed to do with all these mixed up feelings? Why was it that every time I thought about him I felt my heart speed up, my palms became sweaty and I couldn't control the intense desire that welled up within me. His eyes, his hair, his smile...all of him. I wanted him. I hated him. I needed him. Why? Why? Why?

I told everyone about my past. I told them my story and they took it well, but Tifa acted strange. She seemed unsure about something, I asked her what was wrong but she just said it didn't matter. So, I left it. Maybe I should have pressed her? Maybe I should have forced her to explain her strange mood? Maybe if I had...things could have gone differently?

We met new friends and encountered new enemies. Monsters and ShinRa troops. Still my mind was troubled. Something was wrong, very wrong, with me. I had strange blackouts, heard voices in my head. I was secretly terrified that I was going to go insane. I was going to hurt someone. I knew in my heart that something awful was going to happen.

Even through all this we managed to get some respite. We stayed at the gold saucer, an amusement park. I was dragged out on a date with Aeris. We took part in a play, which was odd. I found myself actually having fun. I hadn't felt so content in a long time. We laughed and talked.

Aeris made me go onto the Gondola ride, we both looked out of the window at the scenery. We passed the attractions, bright lights, Chocobo races and finally saw fireworks. I leaned over the seat to get a better look but my sudden movement made the ride rock and Aeris fell forward. I caught her and she looked up into my face. She was very close. I felt my heart speed up slightly as she stared at me with a blush on her cheeks. I leaned toward her face lifting my hand and touching her cheek gently, after a brief pause I pushed my hand into her hair and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her tense suddenly and I pulled away. "I'm...sorry..." I muttered. "I...didn't mean..."

She shook her head unable to look me in the eyes. "No...It's my fault. I..." The fireworks highlighted her face changing her pale skin to multiple colours. I wanted to kiss her again.

"Aeris..." I mutter and pull her into my arms again. I had never kissed a girl...that I could remember. She was delicate and soft, completely the opposite of Sephiroth. At the thought of him I feel goose bumps erupt all over my body. I push my hands in to her hair gently and pull her into my lap. Suddenly she pulled away with bright red cheeks. Strands of her hair fell into her face as she looked down at me. She pulled away completely as the ride slowed and came to a stop. I sat still for an awkward moment. I had done something wrong. I knew I should've kept my hands to myself.

She seemed slightly out of breath but she smiled at me. "Come on...we had better be getting back before the others notice we're missing."

It was as if it had never happened. We carried on with our journey, fighting ShinRa forces for the keystone, which we lost. The temple of the ancients...a strange and confusing place full of puzzles and bizarre creatures. Who would have thought that he would have been there? His heart beat...his intense eyes...enough to make me go insane...enough to make me lose my mind.

Sephiroth...black materia...Jenova...destruction...meteor...the ancients...

Aeris.

He has so much control over everything I do. I thought...I thought...that maybe I could resist. Maybe I could stop myself from drowning. Impossible. I should have known better. The pain...the horrible pain in my head. Every time he is near me...it hurts. Every time...

We meet him in the temple. He tells us about the murals on the walls. More answers that just seem to create more questions! His plan...to become one with the planet...would mean the destruction of everything we know. It was happening as we spoke. He was going to bring Meteor down on us and kill everyone. His hatred of humanity had surpassed the very height of insanity. How could he want to do something so...awful?

Horrible, awful ringing noise. It hurts! It hurts so much! I can't make it stop. The pain is more intense than anything I had ever experienced before. Bright white light fills my head.

_Wake up._

Finally. My mind goes blank. I lose control of my body again...

I run after Sephiroth as he disappears, Aeris chases after me. I stop before the huge mural of Meteor. Laughter escapes my lips...

"Black materia..." I can't stop laughing. "Call...meteor..." What was happening to me? I'm...afraid. I'm afraid of...myself. Aeris's voice brings back some control, she calls a name. My name. "Yes...I'm...Cloud...!" That noise! Why can't anyone else hear it? I grip my hair in my hands. "How should I?...I remember! I remember my way!" I gasp and shake my head. I turn to see Aeris looking at me in concern. "Mm, What's wrong? Is something wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

After a while the room begins to shake. I look around. "Sephiroth?"

_I hear his laughter. "It's not me..."_

We are plunged into a battle with a huge dragon. We manage to kill it after a seemingly endless amount of time. Then Cait Sith arrives and exchanges the life of his remote controlled body for the black materia.

We flee the temple as it shrinks down to a ball the size of my palm. So, the temple was the black materia? An interesting way of hiding it.

I lean over the edge of the deep pit that used to be the temple. I could see it sat at the bottom glinting innocently. I slide down the steep embankment to the very bottom. When I reach it I pick it up carefully. "As long as we have this Sephiroth won't be able to use meteor." I turn to see that Aeris has climbed down with me. "Mmm? Can you guys use it?" I ask.

"Nope, we can't use it right now. You need great spiritual power to use it." Aeris answers. I see her eyes on the ball in my palm.

"You mean lots of spiritual energy?"

"That's right. One person's power alone won't do it. Somewhere special. Where there's plenty of the planets energy. Oh yeah!" She exclaimed in surprise. "The promised land!"

"The promised land!" I repeat still staring intently at the ball. So much power all condensed into one tiny little object. "No, but..."

"Sephiroth is different, he's not an ancient."

"He shouldn't be able to find the promised land." Suddenly I feel a jolt, like a tug in the back of my mind. I look up. Sephiroth.

"...Ah, but I have." He hovers over us. And I can't tear my eyes away. I Begin to shake. That power...I'm going to lose it. I'm going to lose my mind. "I'm far superior to the ancients. I have become a traveller of the lifestream and have obtained the knowledge and wisdom of the ancients. I also gained the Knowledge and wisdom of those after the extinction of the ancients." His laughter sent chills through my body. "And soon...I will create the future."

Aeris frowns angrily. "I won't let you do it! The future is not only yours!"

He laughs again. "I wonder."

Bright white light. Insistent ringing noise.

"_Wake up."_

I fall to my knees as Sephiroth walks toward me. It hurts. I'm in so much pain. I gasp, clutching my hair desperately. "Shu...Shut up!" I cry.

He kneels before me and looks into my eyes. "There, Cloud...good boy." His hand touches my face and I groan.

"_No..." _ I can't help it. I lift my hand slowly, my eyes never leaving his. I have lost control. I drown in his eyes. I can't stop myself. My fingers open from around the Materia, so hard to look away. Give up. There's no chance of escape. This is his will, I cannot refuse. His hand leaves my face and reaches for the materia. Yes, give him the materia. He needs it. He wants it. I release my grip on it. My body begins shaking uncontrollably. Sephiroth stands and runs his hand through my hair as I look up at him.

"...Well done." He whispers softly. He smiles and disappears. I feel the emptiness. What...have I done? I stare up at the sky.

"Cloud, are you alright?" Aeris asks. Her voice low. Why doesn't she blame me? We risked everything for this and...I just handed it over to the enemy! Why isn't she angry?

"I...gave the black materia...to Sephiroth?" I whisper, my eyes fall down to stare at my hands. I turn to her with wide eyes and grab the front of her dress. "Wha...what did I do...tell me Aeris?" I am on the verge of screaming. My breathing is erratic.

She puts a hand on my head gently. "Cloud...be strong...ok?"

I scream, I can't hold back any longer. I bow my head and put my hands in my hair and scream. I am terrified. My body wasn't my own anymore. What was going on? Why would I do something so...stupid? I have just given the enemy his most powerful weapon. I was useless. A failure. How could I even claim to want to protect my friends when I couldn't even look after myself? Useless. Failure! "What have I done?"

"Cloud...you haven't done anything." Aeris says softly. So sweet...her voice should calm me but no...she's wrong. I lost control! It's my fault! My fault!

I feel sick as I stand. I push her violently away from me, not really thinking about what I'm doing. She falls back with a gasp. "I...I'm..."

_I'm lost. _

_Help..._

_Please! Don't make me do this! Not this...I...no! Don't make me hurt her!_

I hit her. I hurt her. I had no more sense left. I felt as if my soul was shattering into tiny pieces. I had snapped. All those long nights dreaming of him, wanting him. All that time hearing voices...whispers in my head. That noise! That awful ringing noise...enough. I give up.

I hear her scream. It cuts through me like a knife.

"_Everything is white...what did I do? I don't remember anything...My memory...since when...? If this is a dream, don't wake me."_

_Surrounded by a strange unfamiliar forest...where...where am i?_

"_Cloud, can you hear me?"_

"_Yeah, I hear you. Sorry for what happened."_

"_Don't worry about that." _

"_...I can't help it..."_

"_Oh...Then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? And let me handle Sephiroth."_

_Ah...her sweet laughter._

"_And Cloud, you take care of yourself. So you don't have a breakdown ok?"_

"_What is this place?"_

"_This forest leads to the city of the Ancients and is called the sleeping forest. It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses meteor. That's why I'm going to protect it, only a survivor of the cetra, like me, can do it. The secret is just up here. At least it should be...i feel it. It feels like I'm being led by something. Then, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."_

"_Aeris?"_

_She shouldn't be going! I...have a bad feeling! Please...Aeris...wait!_

"_Hmm...she's thinking of interfering? She will be a difficult one, don't you think?"_

_Was that...Sephiroth? He...is in my head now? _

"_We must stop that girl soon."_

_Ah...why was he in my dreams? Taunting me, trying break me...Sephiroth...Come back..._

I open my eyes. I was lying on a soft bed in a small room, stood beside me were Tifa and Barrett.

"You look like you was havin' a nightmare." Barrett said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

I smile tiredly and put a hand to my head. "I seem to be ok..."

"That's good. Man, I didn't know what was gonna happen!"

Tifa looks down at me sadly, "You know, Cloud, Aeris is gone."

"Everyone's out lookin' for her." Barrett said.

I sit up and lower my head. I can hardly look my friends in the eyes. I betrayed them...and yet they were all acting like everything was ok. I shake my head slowly staring down at the covers of the bed, my fingers plucking at them absently. "...city of the Ancients...Aeris is headed there."

"By herself? Why did she go by herself?" Barrett shouted. "Hey, we're going too!"

I felt the guilt sitting heavily in my chest like a rock. "Only the ancients, only Aeris can save us from meteor." I mutter. I still couldn't face them. I couldn't bear to look at them and see the condemnation in their eyes. It would destroy me.

Tifa sighs and crosses her arms across her chest. "Then we must go. What'll we do if something happens to Aeris? If Sephiroth finds her she's in trouble."

I pull my knees closer to my chest and bury my face in them. My fault. "Sephiroth...already knows." My voice is barely above a whisper.

Barrett makes an angry noise. "Hey, why are you still sittin' around?"

"Let's go Cloud." Tifa puts her hand gently on my shoulder but I push her away angrily.

"No!" I raise my voice slightly. "I might lose it again! If Sephiroth comes near me I might..." I stop and pull myself into a tighter ball. I might kill her...

"Yeah, Goddamn it! It's cuz of you that Sephiroth got the black materia in the first place! It's all you damn fault!" Barrett said furiously.

"My fault?" I whisper.

"I know you got problems...hell, we all do! But you don't even understand yourself! But, you gotta understand that there aint no gettin' offa this train we on till it gets to the end of the line."

I feel pain in my chest...why did they even care?

"Cloud, we came this far...aren't you going to settle this with Sephiroth?" Tifa asked.

I peer at them over the top of my arms and shake my head. "No!" I shout again. I can't do it. If I go near him...I'll ... "If this keeps up, I may go crazy!" I cover my head with my hands shaking my head back and forth. I can't. No. I don't want to lose myself again. "I'm afraid!" I feel tears sting my eyes.

"Just a damn jackass, that's what you are. Yo, jes think about it...how many people in this world do ya think really understand themselves? People get depressed in life because they don't know what's up. But they go on living. They don't run away...isn't that how it is?" Barrett storms out angrily leaving Tifa with me.

"Cloud...You'll come with us, right? I believe in you." After a moment she, too, leaves.

I sit alone, still curled tightly in a ball. I feel sick. I feel confused. My head feels as if it's going to snap. "What...am I supposed to do?" I mutter. "Pull out...To where?" I shake my head again. I close my eyes and feel the tears slide down my face. What was happening to me? Why couldn't I control myself when around him? Why did I have to dream about him every night? "I'm...afraid to find out the truth...? But...why?" I sigh and stand up wiping my face on my sleeve. I should get some air...I need to think this through.

I meet Tifa and Barrett outside. Barrett asked me what my decision was going to be.

"Even if you do go nuts when you see Sephiroth again...if it happens, it happens. I'll go upside your spiky white head and bring you back to normal."

I can't help but smile a little.

"Cloud, it'll be alright. We're all with you." Tifa said with a wide, happy smile. She was always so cheerful, I envied her.

My smile falls. "But..."

"If it happens, it happens! Don't worry about it." Barrett repeats.

I pause and tip my head back to look up at the blue sky. Barely a cloud was in sight. "You're...right. I turn to Tifa, second guessing myself. "He's right, isn't he?"

Tifa smiles and nods. "Come on, let's go find Aeris."

We turn toward the exit of the village we had been staying in but as we near it I stop. "Where...are we?"

Tifa turns to me. "Gongaga."

I spin on my heel. Why did I feel like I knew the name of this place? Why did...wait...something...i'm supposed to remember? Have I been here before? I frown at the small hut like houses, the lush vegetation and the small graveyard. I can hear bright laughter in my head...

"_Me? Gongaga..."_

"_Hey, what's so funny about that? You know Gongaga?_

"No...but...it's such...a back...water name..." I say the words slowly, as if tasting each of them carefully. That name...Gongaga...it had some special importance that I couldn't figure out. Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm and jump slightly; I spin back around to find Tifa looking at me strangely.

"Cloud? Are you alright?" She asks.

I look into her brown eyes and smile. "Yeah, just wandering where I've heard the name of this village before...must have been mentioned to me in passing at some point. Don't worry about it." I take one last look back at the village before turning back to the exit. "Let's get goin' shall we?"

The others nod and we leave.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Ok! I have rewritten and twisted parts of the game for my own purposes (Bit like what Hojo does in his experiments!)! Do not hate me! I think things should have gone this way...because wings are pretty. (You'll understand what I mean when you read.) I do love the original game but...i felt I had to change bits...Ok, so, keep reading and reviewing! You are all wonderful, awesome people and I love you all! XD

Chapter 22

"_...Those remnants will join the Life stream and girdle the planet. Choking it... corroding it. What I want, Cloud, is to sail the darkness of the cosmos with this planet as my vessel, just as my mother did long ago. Then one day we'll find a new planet. And on its soil, we'll create a shining future."_

_So much pain and anguish...war, pollution, death..._

_Why does humanity keep going?_

_Why does the planet allow such tiny parasites to continue growing upon her surface?_

_It's hard not to hate humanity for its crimes...and yet, sometimes there are truly good people who will go out of their way to help those who are suffering._

_I have found those people. _

_I have found my place in the world._

_I have found my light._

We get the Tiny Bronco to Bone village. We walked through the forest, strange almost crystalline trees reached up to the sky. No leaves covered their branches. The place had a strange, almost creepy feel to it. We eventually found ourselves in a large village like area. Strange seashell houses were dotted around. We spend a long time searching for her. We couldn't find her. It wasn't long until we were too exhausted to go on and we collapsed into some beds that were in one of the houses.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I could feel Sephiroth...he wasn't far away. It was as if he was taunting me with his presence...staying out of sight but making sure I knew he was there. It was torture. I wanted to see him! I wanted to...but no! We had to stop him from getting to Aeris.

I follow her voice. We find ourselves in a strange temple like area. A great big lake surrounds the bottom of a tall shell structure. I run inside. She was waiting for me...i had to stop him!

I find myself in an area filled with water, several tall pillars wind up to a platform. I jump onto the first one and look up. "Aeris?" I stop the others from following me. I was going in alone. When I finally reach the platform I see Aeris sat on her knees with her head bowed and her hands clasped before her. Her eyes were closed. The light streamed down onto her head and I took a step forward. That horrible noise again...pain in my head...what was he...trying to make me do?

My body moves of its own accord. My mind is blank as I reach around to the sword strapped across my back. I lift it slowly. I lift it slowly above my head...No...No...I can't! Don't make me...please...I'm begging you! Don't make me do this! Sephiroth! I bring the sword down...

"Cloud!"

"What are you doing?"

My friend's voices snap me back to my senses. The blade stops inches from Aeris's delicate neck. I back away nearly falling over my own feet, the sword falls from my fingers and I shake my head.

"Ugh...What are you making me do?" I mutter putting a hand to my face. Then Aeris opens her eyes and looks at me, I watch her smile. Suddenly...Sephiroth appears jumping down from the roof and plunging toward her. I watch in horrified fascination as the blade pierces her chest. Blood splatters the floor all around her. I feel numb. Sephiroth looked me in the eyes and...smiled. He tore the blade from her and she fell forward, the pink ribbon in her hair falling out so her hair came unbound. I run forward as she falls and catch her. I stare down into her face and swallow the tight lump in my throat. "A...Aeris?" I shake her slightly. "This can't be real!"

"Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of this planets energy. All that is left is to go North...the promised land awaits beyond snowy fields. There I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As will this gir..."

"Shut up!" I shout. I close my eyes tightly and bow my head. "The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing! Aeris is gone. Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry...or get angry..." I pull her closer to my body. "What about us...what are WE supposed to do?" I relax my grip a bit and look down into her face lifting my hand and tenderly brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "What about my pain?" I mutter. "My fingers are tingling...my mouth is dry...My eyes are burning..." I let out a strangled sob and lifted my hand to my face.

Sephiroth plunged his sword into the ground and approached me, I heard his boots. He crouched down beside me and raised my face to his with a finger under my chin. I saw him smile. "What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?" He chuckled softly and wiped away the tears.

I pull away from him. "Of course! Who do you think I am?"

He began to laugh harder as I stood and backed away a pace. "Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either..." he took a step closer to me and took my face in his gloved hand. I watched in horror as a huge black wing suddenly burst through his coat. "Because Cloud..." It spread wide, sending feathers scattering around me. "You are...A..." He whispered against my lips...then, before I knew it, he was lifted up into the air. He spread his arms wide as if inviting me to come into his arms...and I so desperately wanted to. Only the knowledge that Aeris had died made me stay put. He smiled at me before flying up and out of the temple.

**Because, you are...a puppet.**

_I'm...a puppet? _

I close my eyes and turn back to Aeris's body. I sit her up against the barrier of the platform and everyone came to say their farewells. I stood back and watched their grief. I leaned against the barrier with one leg resting on it and my arms folded across my chest. I felt...numb. I was empty. My brief tears earlier had long since dried up and I watched everyone with no expression. Once they were finished saying farewell I picked her up and slowly carried her outside the shell like temple, I waded into the pool at its base. I stopped and stared down into her peaceful face. The pain was sharp but brief. I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead gently before stepping back and letting her fall to the bottom. I stood in the water and tipped my head back staring up into the sky. She was gone. I felt the sharp stabbing pain of grief and clutched my chest. I closed my eyes tightly against the tears. The others looked on from the shore; I could hear Tifa crying softly and Barrett's comforting words. I heard Nanaki howl his anguish at the sky.

I look back down into the water and see ripples in the clear glass like surface. My own tears mingled with the water of the lake. I wiped a hand across my eyes. I was finding it hard to think, but I knew what I had to do next. I had to follow him. I had to find him and make him taste the bitter edge of my sword. "Aeris...forgive me." I whispered. I wasn't strong enough to protect her. I wasn't able to get there in time...if I had...maybe she would still be smiling...still be laughing... "Forgive...me..." I choked back my tears and took a shuddering breath before returning to the shore. I look up at my companions and see Vincent holding out his hand, I take it and let him drag me ashore. "Thanks..." I mutter half heartedly. I bend and pick up the Buster sword, sliding it into the holster at my back. I sigh and close my eyes briefly while everyone waited in silence. Then I turned back to them. "Everyone...listen to me...I'm Cloud, ex-SOLDIER, born in Nebeilheim. I came to..." I pause and smile bitterly. "I came to settle things with Sephiroth. I came here by my own free will...or so I thought. However...To tell the truth..." I look up again. "I'm...afraid of myself. There is a part of me that I don't understand...The part that made me give the Black Materia to Sephiroth." I look back at them and lower my eyes. "If you hadn't've stopped me Aeris would have been..." I sigh and close my eyes wrapping an arm around myself in a protective gesture. "There's something inside of me...a person who is not really me." I look up making eye contact with everyone there. "That's why I should quit this journey. Before i...do something terrible." I see the looks of horror on my companion's faces. I frown and clench my fists. "But I'm going. He destroyed my hometown five years ago; he killed Aeris, and is now trying to destroy the planet. I'll...Never forgive...Sephiroth." I see Tifa's eyes widen at the anger in my voice. Vincent nods his head as if he knew that I would I go on. Barrett shrugged and Nanaki growled agreement. Cid lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall of the temple. Yuffie nodded her head vigorously, her eyes red rimmed from crying. "I...must go on." I look up into their faces, my eyes lingering on Tifa. "I have a...favour to ask of you. Will you come with me? To...save me from doing something terrible..."

"...All right, Cloud." Nanaki said, bowing his head.

Tifa smiled and took my hand in her own. "Of course...we will stay by your side. What are friends for?"

"Yeah...we can't have you getting yourself killed!" Cid said with a grin.

"Sure, I'll help out...after all, you still have my materia!" Yuffie said brightly.

Vincent nodded his head, "I will follow you..." He said quietly.

Barrett clapped me on the shoulder with his hand almost driving me to my knees. "Well, you're gunna need a leader! That means I'll have to come along for the ride."

"You're gunna need someone to tell you what ShinRa are up to too!" Cait Sith said bouncing up and down.

I feel myself smile slightly. "If i...do lose myself again...I..." I look down at Tifa and look away. "I want someone to kill me." I whisper. "If I lose myself...the only way you're gunna be able to stop me will be to take my life..."

Tifa gripped my hand tightly. "Cloud...no...that's too much!"

I shake my head. "No...because the next time I lose myself may be the time when I kill you all. Please...promise me this!"

"We can't!" Tifa said angrily. "No! We won't kill you! We won't do it...because...you will always come back! No matter what...you always return! Even...even if the world is destroyed...you will always return to us!"

I look at her for a moment amazed at the certainty in her voice. "I..."

"She's right, Cloud..." Vincent said. "We cannot hurt a fellow comrade. None here would touch you with malicious intent..."

"Instead...how 'bout we jus' knock you out?" Barrett said with a grin.

I feel my smile widen slightly and I nod. "I...guess that would be alright." I smile at everyone. They would stay by my side. I knew they would. No matter what...i had people I could depend on, and that...was a good feeling. We made our way back to the main village and found somewhere to rest. When everyone was settled I sat on the bed. "I don't know how Aeris tried to save the planet from meteor...and I guess now we'll never know. But, we still have a chance! We must get the black materia before Sephiroth gets a chance to use it! We'll leave in the morning."

We all settle down to sleep. I dream...

"_So, you think you can save the planet by taking the black materia back from me? Don't be so foolish...my little doll." _

_Sephiroth stands before me with his arms folded across his chest. He smiled at me and pulled me into his arms, I feel his lips pressed to mine and I reach up to entangle my fingers in his long hair. He pulled away and gripped the tops of my arms tightly. _

"_Do not even consider disobedience, boy. I can take everything you cherish and tear it from you until you are nothing but a shell..."_

_I see a vision of Tifa lying in the snow covered in blood. Slowly it fades into each of my friends. I scream and struggle desperately in his grip, but he is too strong. "NO! Please...Don't...don't hurt them! I'm...begging you!"_

"_Oh no...you misunderstand! I would never lay a finger on them. __**You**__ would be the one to wield the blade, Cloud." _

_I feel tears in my eyes as he shows me visions of the buster sword cleaving through Tifa...Vincent...Yuffie...Cid...Nanaki...all of my friends...even Marlene...their blood soaking the blade. I could feel the blood on my hands. "No! No more! Stop! Stop it! I don't want to see anymore! No more deaths! No more...Sephiroth..."_

_I feel his hand on my face as he tips my head back, so I am forced to look into his eyes. I moan slightly. "Good boy, I like that look on your face...have you decided what to do?"_

"_I...I will...follow. I will...come to you. I will obey..."My voice is barely above a whisper but he must have heard as he kissed me deeply._

"_That's it..." He whispered in my ear. I fell back slightly as he released me and caught me around the waist. "You belong to me, Cloud. You have done since the day you were reborn...You cannot be whole without me; I am your only means of survival...your only reason for living!"_

_Yes, this was what I wanted. I wanted him. I needed him. "Make me whole...Sephiroth..." I whisper as I reach toward him._

_He laugh's quietly. "In time...my little puppet, have patience. Our reunion..."_

"_Reunion?" _

"_Yes, when we will join. You shall understand soon enough, child. Now, sleep."_

_I feel my eyes grow heavy and I fall into darkness with the memory of his lips on mine. _

We make our way to Icicle Inn. The snow and freezing conditions make getting anywhere hard, but we all struggle onward. When we reach the town we discover the Turks waiting for us, Elena blames us for stabbing Tseng and when we deny it she throws a punch. I move to the side smoothly and she slips, I stick my foot out tripping her down the hill. Two of her men follow. I laugh slightly and turn away, that should deal with them for now. We find a way down the Glacier by snowboarding. Once at the bottom we begin searching for a way through the snow and ice but we get lost, a man helps us recover and tells us we need to get up a cliff to reach the Great North Cave. We manage it slowly but surely having to stop on ledges every now and again and Jump around to warm up. Eventually we made it to the cave.

As we walked through the rocky place we began encountering strange black clad beings who were throwing themselves off of cliffs or killing themselves in other ways. One collapses before me and I kneel beside it reaching out a hand and flicking the cloak back. I stare into the face of what was once a man. I recoil in horror and cover the face back over. Its eyes had been a perfect reflection of Sephiroth's and its face was covered in horrendous scars and black marks that oozed slightly. Many kept repeating Sephiroth's name or talking about a reunion. We move on.

Eventually we meet him. Sephiroth is stood before some of the black clad figures and he slices them in half with his sword mercilessly. "Sephiroth!" I shout over the howling wind. "This is the end!"

He keeps his back to me but I can hear the smile in voice. "You're right, this is the end of this bodies usefulness."

Everything goes dark and I run forward reaching out with my hand, I just miss grabbing his leather jacket as he disappears. "He...disappeared." I mutter searching the area quickly.

"He might still be nearby..." Tifa said.

_Our purpose is to deliver the black materia to our master._

I stop in my tracks and look up. What was...this voice? "Our...?" I mutter. I feel strange suddenly, my head aches slightly and I lift my hand to it.

"Hey! Hey! What's goin' on?" Cid shouted from a bit further back.

"Nnng..." I moan and close my eyes tightly.

_Those who carry Jenova's cells..._

"Master...?" I am beginning to find it very difficult to concentrate. Why was I here? Shouldn't i...be somewhere else? What...was I doing?

_Of course...Sephiroth._

I hear laughter, ringing in my head. Suddenly I look up to see Sephiroth above us; he laughs and dives down smashing his sword into the ground. We are all blown off our feet. I come around and shake my head slightly to clear it, I struggle to my feet. Behind me, lying on the floor is the black materia.

"Jenova's...cells..." I mutter. My head feels foggy. "Hmmm...so that's what this is all about. The Jenova reunion..." the others all stand behind me, I can feel their uncertainty.

Tifa turns to me. "Not Sephiroth? You mean, all this time it's not Sephiroth who we've been after?"

"I'll explain later. Right now the only thing I'm thinking of is beating Sephiroth." I reach behind me and secure my sword almost absently as I stare down at the black orb.

"But Sephiroth is..." Tifa said slowly.

"He's here. The real Sephiroth is just beyond this point." I said with certainty. "It's both incredibly wicked and cruel, but it's releasing a powerfully strong will from deep within this planets wound." I walk over to the black materia and pick it up. I turn with a smile. "The black materia is back in our hands! Now all we have to do is defeat Sephiroth and that'll be the end of it."

"We'd better not take the Black materia any further. Why don't you give it to someone else to hold on to?"

I nod my head and turn to Nanaki, he seemed the best option...he was smart and level headed. I hand him the materia. I warn him not to give it to anyone and head off deeper into the cave.

As we reach the end of a long and dangerous walkway of rock we are plunged into bright white light. Tifa panicked. "Calm down, Tifa." I mutter. "Sephiroth is near, anything can happen." I was so sure of myself, so confident about what I was doing...

The white light fades and we find ourselves in Niebeilheim. I frown in confusion. What was going on now? I tell the others that there's nothing to be afraid of, that it's just an illusion. I try to convince myself of the same thing...my hands are sweaty beneath my gloves. My breathing is heavy. No...No...this is bad...i don't want to know...I don't want to be shown this!

Sephiroth walks in through the gates followed by two blue clad infantry men and...a black haired guy. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. What is this? I'm not here? No...this is illusion! Nothing to worry about...it's fine. I see Tifa's face...It makes my stomach churn. She stared wide eyed at the apparition as if she...recognised him. She saw me looking at her and tried to reassure me...

The scene fades to be replaced by burning houses. I can feel the heat from the flames. I feel a sweat break out across my skin and yet I'm shivering. He shows that black haired SOLDIER again running through the streets and talking to Zangan. No...that was me! I did that! Where...where am i? I try and convince the others that it's not bothering me; I try to convince myself that I know what really happened on that day...five years ago. I know...I was there...wasn't i?

Tifa tries to stop me from watching the scenes as they play out but I can't stop looking. I am frozen to the spot. Another bright white flash and we are stood in the centre of the burning village.

I take a deep breath and step forward raising my voice over the roar of the flames. "Sephiroth! I know you're listening! I know what you want to say!" I shake my head trying to smile through my terror. "That I wasn't in Nibelheim five years ago! That's it isn't it?"

Sephiroth appeared before us, he was smiling. "I see you finally understand."

I take a step forward, the flames making me sweat...or was it...my fear of finding something out I won't like? "I know, you're just trying to confuse me...aren't you! But, even making me see those things won't affect me. I remember it all...the heat of the fire, the pain in my body...in my heart."

"Oh, is that so?" Sephiroth said with a small chuckle. "You are just a puppet, you have no heart and cannot feel any pain. How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being? What I have shown you is reality, what you remember, that, is the illusion."

I put a hand to my head slowly. Is he...right?

"Do you understand?" He said and moved toward me taking my face in his hands.

"I...I don't want to understand. But...i want to ask you one thing..." I pull away from him making sure I hide the pain in my eyes from everyone. "Why...Why are you doing this?"

He chuckled. "I want to take you back to your real self. The one who gave me the black materia that day!" he opened his arms wide and smiled at me. "Who would ever have thought a failed experiment would prove useful? Hojo would die if he knew."

I feel a sharp stabbing pain my head and wince. Failed...? "What does Hojo have to do with me?" I spit angrily.

_Cold hands...Metal table...glass tubes...pain...changing, slowly...things infesting my body...a voice...a feminine voice..._

Sephiroth moved close again still smiling. His hand touches my hair and he suddenly grabs a handful of it dragging my head back. "Five years ago you were...constructed by Hojo piece by piece after Nibeilheim was burnt. A puppet made up of vibrant Jenova cells, her knowledge and Mako. An incomplete Sephiroth clone, not even given a number...That, is your reality." He releases me.

I run a shaking hand through my hair and turn to Tifa who is stood beside me. She would know...she had memories of me. She met my gaze and shook her head. "Cloud...don't listen to him. Close your ears, close your eyes."

"What's wrong Tifa...I'm not affected by it!" I said quickly. The panic was reaching its crescendo...i had to know! I had to know the truth! But I...didn't want to. If I knew...It would destroy me. "I wasn't paying any attention to him."

"_Intriguing...very intriguing...take this one to the mansion..."_

Tifa nodded. "All that stuff about Hojo constructing you is a lie! Don't we have our memories together? Being kids together? Starlit nights..."

Sephiroth turned to Tifa with a laugh. "Tifa, why are you so worried and scared by those words? Hmm...shall I show everyone here what's in your heart?" Tifa turned away from me. I was filled with ice. No. No...it can't be true... "You look like you're not feeling well."

I reach out to her but withdraw my hand quickly. "Tifa...? Is...Sephiroth right?"

_Green liquid...blurred faces...glass tubes...so much pain...!_

"Cloud..." Tifa mutters.

What is this dread, sick feeling? I don't like it...

"Why are you so scared? Don't worry about me. I'm alright." Liar. I know I'm lying. I'm lying to myself and her... "No matter how confused I am I'll never believe a word Sephiroth says!" I lower my head. "It's true...that sometimes I can't figure out who I am. There's a lot of things muddled up in my memories...But Tifa...But...you said... "Long time no see, Cloud" right? Those words will always support me. I am the one you grew up with, I am Cloud of Nebeilheim. No matter how much I lose faith in myself that is the truth. That's why you shouldn't be so scared. No matter what anyone else says to me it's your attitude that counts." I turn away.

"No, that's not true, Cloud." Her voice sends chills down my spine.

"What's not? Aren't I the same Cloud you grew up with?" I say turning back to her terrified face.

"That's not what I mean...I don't know how to say it...Cloud, I need some time...just give me a little time." I could hear the desperate pleading in her voice.

I swallow hard. This is not going the way I had hoped it would...Sephiroth reappeared before us.

"Cloud, don't blame Tifa...The ability to change one's looks, voice and words is the power of Jenova. Inside of you Jenova has merged with Tifa's memories, creating you out of Tifa's memory. A boy named Cloud might just have been a part of them." He smiled and vanished again.

"Cloud, please...don't think right now." Tifa pleaded. I looked sideways at her and saw the fear in her eyes.

Sephiroth appeared behind me and wrapped an arm around my chest drawing me close to him. I stared straight ahead. I couldn't think of anything. He laughed softly into my ear. "Think, Cloud...Cloud? Oh excuse me you never had a name." He turned my face to his. I could see the relish on his face when he looked into my eyes, he was enjoying my pain and confusion.

_The voices...the nightmares...only half remembered as I wake up in a cold sweat...a hand reaching out to me...a bright smiling face... "I envy you"..._

I tear myself from his grip and stumble slightly. "Shut up...Sephiroth..."

"You still don't understand then..." He said shaking his head slowly. "Do you remember the picture we took before we headed to mt. Nibel?" He turned to Tifa. "Tifa...you remember it, right? But there's no way he would know..." he said as he looked at me. He began searching his pockets and the ground. "Now, what happened to that picture...?" He strolled over to the man lying on the floor and picked something up. "Now, is this it? Do you want to see it? It turned out pretty good."

Tifa grabbed my arm suddenly. "Cloud...Don't..."

I shake her off. "I...should be in the picture...Even if I'm not in there, no worry. This is just an illusory world that Sephiroth made up." I nod after seeing the picture, the black haired guy stood where I should have been. "Just as I thought...This picture is a fake, the truth is in my memory. Five years ago I returned to Nibelheim to inspect the reactor. I was sixteen." These words seemed right. They felt...true. I had been sixteen years old when Sephiroth had destroyed my town. "The town hadn't changed at all...What did I do...? Oh yeah! I went to see my mother..." Again, this felt true...it sat right in my soul. "I spent the night then went to the reactor in Mt. Nibel..." This, too, felt right. "I was...excited...because that was my first mission after becoming first class SOLDIER." That felt wrong...why did it feel wrong? It was what I remembered...I shook my head ignoring the stab of pain in my head. "...First Class SOLDIER...? SOLDIER...when did I enter SOLDIER? How...did I join SOLDIER...?" The pain increased until it was nearly unbearable. I shoved my hands in my hair. It was so hard to think...but memories of when I was sixteen were blurry...some indecipherable. I fell to my knees. "Why? Why can't I remember?" I stand slowly my whole body shaking. "I'm...I'm...That's right...I don't have to worry about it, because I was..." I feel a smile on my lips as I put my hand to my head. It was true...

"Cloud...?" Tifa asked.

"Let's go Tifa...I'm...I'm alright." Yes, I was going to be ok. The truth was painful...but I realised that it didn't matter. Nothing did. I was a puppet. The only reason for my existence was Sephiroth...my master. Yes, nothing else mattered. I had to get the black materia...i had to give it to him because that's what he wants.

_That's a good boy, Cloud. Now, come to me..._

We appeared in a place made almost entirely of Materia. The cavern walls were high and right above us a tree like structure had grown over the roof stretching out star like tentacles to the walls. Tifa and I weren't the only one's here, ShinRa were there. They had also come to witness the reunion.

Scarlet's voice echoes through the cavern, so noisy! "Hey! Where did you come from?"

"...Don't know..." I answer looking up. I turn slowly to face them all. "This place is going to get rough. Better leave things to me and get out of here while you still can."

Rufus sweeps his hair back from his face, "Leave things to you? Hmf...I don't know what you mean."

"This is where the reunion is happening...this is where everything begins...and ends." I smile slightly. Yes, I was nothing but Sephiroth's toy, created solely for his command. Is...someone calling me? I can hear...a distant voice...

"I'm here! I'm here to help you Cloud!"

I look up as Nanaki runs over to me. I walk over to him and stretch out my hand. "Thank you Nanaki, Where's the black materia?"

"It's safe, I'm holding on to it."

"I'll take it from here...give me the black materia."

"Are you...alright Cloud?" Nanaki asks. I smile slightly and nod. Yes, everything was going to be fine. "Then, here you go...I was a little apprehensive holding on to this thing."

I take it and grip it tightly. "Thanks...leave everything to me."

_Come on. The black materia..._

"_Please wait! Just...a little longer..."_

I shake my head. "Everyone...thanks for everything...and..." I look up at the sky. "I'm sorry..." I whisper. My eyes meet Tifa's. "Especially you Tifa...I'm sorry...You've been so good to me...I don't know what to say...I never lived up to being "Cloud". Tifa...maybe one day you'll meet the real Cloud."

She falls to her knees with tears streaming down her face. I never meant to hurt her...I just...had to do this...

Hojo steps up to me and takes my chin in his hand so I look into his eyes, he pushes his glasses up his nose and squints at me before laughing. "This is perfect! It means my experiment was a complete success! What number were you? Huh? Where's you tattoo...?"

"Professor Hojo...I don't have a number...You didn't give me one because you said...I a failed experiment." Ah, a failure...always a failure...

"What the...? You mean only a failure made it here?" Hojo said as he released me.

I watch his back a moment before reaching out and grasping his coat in my hand. "Professor? Please...give me a number..." Surely if I was the only one to make it here that means...i wasn't a failure?

He slapped my hand away impatiently. "Shut up! Miserable failure..."

It hurts. Those harsh words are worse than knife blades. The pain suddenly becomes unbearable and I fall to my knees. Why did I hurt so much? I feel as if I'm on fire! My body trembles violently and I gasp in air. Hojo watches me in fascination. Everyone is quiet. I cry out and squeeze my eyes shut tightly. What was happening now? Why did it feel like I was...changing...?

"Fascinating!" Hojo mutters, his voice seems so far away.

"What is happening to him?" Rufus asks.

"I do believe that he is mutating...this happened quite often...but never this late in the process. Maybe it has something to with his state of mind? This is just conjecture but maybe he was so convinced of his humanity he forcefully subdued the cells inside of him until now...when it has come to the reunion." He laughed and grabbed my hair pulling my face up to his. "Ah, yes...if you look at his eyes...a perfect imitation of Sephiroth's."

When he released me I screamed. I was in so much pain! I clutched desperately at my hair. Then...the pain stops. I look up. There was a brief sharp pain in my back and an awful tearing sensation. A single wing tore itself free of my skin and clothes. I fell forward gasping slightly. It was smaller than Sephiroth's and less impressive...

"What the...?"

I can hear the mutterings of the watching crowed. I sit up on my knees and look around at everyone. I look down at my hands as Black feathers float gently down to the light snow covering the floor. My eyes meet Hojo's and I see the shock on his face. I see Tifa's horror. I can't look at her anymore...I stand slowly flexing the wing slightly. "Forgive me." I whisper and look up at the root like structure in the roof. I lift myself into the air and hover for a second before ascending toward my last destination. I can hear the voices of the others.

"Who was that?" Rufus asks.

"That was a Sephiroth clone I created after the real Sephiroth died five years ago." Hojo replied. "Jenova cells and Mako, with my knowledge and skills, have been combined with science and nature to bring him to life. I'm not wild about the failure part, but the Jenova reunion theory has been proven. You see, even if Jenova's body is dismembered, it will eventually become one again. That's what is meant by Jenova's reunion. I have been waiting for the reunion to start these past five years, and now the clones have begun to return. I thought the clones would begin to gather at Midgar where Jenova is stored, but my predictions were not entirely correct. Jenova its self began to move away from the ShinRa building. But, being the genius that I am, I soon figured it out. You see it was all Sephiroth's doing. Sephiroth is not just content to diffuse into the lifestream; he wants to manipulate the clones himself."

I sit in the branches of the tree thing listening to them talk and swinging my legs back and forth slightly. My newly acquired wing settled behind me, shedding feathers. "Yes, that was how it got started." I muse quietly.

"I wandered where the clones were going but I was never able to figure it out." Hojo's voice drifted up to me on my perch.

I smile slightly and look down at them. "I couldn't figure it out either."

"The one thing I did know was that Sephiroth was at their final destination."

I laugh softly. "I wasn't pursuing Sephiroth...I was being summoned." I lift one knee up and wrap my arm around it. "All that anger and hatred I felt toward him made it impossible to forget him. That...and what he gave me." I sigh and close my eyes briefly before standing. I turn around toward the central cluster of branches. "Sephiroth...I'm here...and I brought you the black materia." I wanted him to answer. "Show yourself to me...Where are you?" I walk a little way along the branch and see a huge crystalline egg. Inside was Sephiroth, his eyes closed as if sleeping. My wing extended slightly as I looked at him. I wanted to touch him...I wanted to feel his long silky hair in my fingers. "Sephiroth..." I murmur reaching out and pressing my fingers against the crystal. "So, we finally meet again." Inside was his real body. Inside was the man that had called me here...inside was destiny.

The crystal falls slightly and I jump free from the root structure so that I hover before Sephiroth. He was so beautiful...A part of me just wanted to stare at him until the end of time but the other part wanted to wake him. I had to do it now...Here you go Sephiroth...I will fulfil my orders.

I can vaguely hear the others far below me but they don't matter anymore. I look down at the black orb in my hand and lift it reaching through the crystal and releasing it. My wing beats a few times as I move back slightly. I watch as it enters his body. The whole place begins to rumble and shake. The roof begins to collapse and I feel myself fall...then something catches me. I look up into a pair of bright green cat's eyes and see the smile...


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **A short chapter! This one is a good one though...I enjopyed picturing Cloud with a wing so much I drew it! Hehe, it's only a little wing but it looks cute! I thought it seemed appropriate considering he is actually the only proper Sephiroth "clone". I mean...he isn't like Kadaj and the others who need Jenova's cells! Anyways...Enough of the rants! On with the story! This one has...yes, you guessed it...more SephyXCloud! Yay! We love it! I am getting a little worried that I've put some of you off with all the sex stuff...or maybe it's the repeating the game story? I'm sorry if I have! I just thought I's change bots here and there...forgive this poor, unworthy Author and keep reviewing!

Chapter 23

"_Even if the morrow is barren of promises  
Nothing shall forestall my return..."_

"I see you are having difficulty getting used to that form." Sephiroth pulls me up onto a small stable platform of rock as the entire cavern collapses around us. Bright white light shoots up toward the sky and horrible roars shake the air as the planet finally releases its weapons. I am held close to Sephiroth as I look down into a black abyss. Far down in the centre of it I can see the bright green strands of Lifestream twisting and writhing as it tries to repair the damage. I look up into Sephiroth's face and see him look down into mine. "You did well, boy." He ruffled my hair making me smile. "At one point I was worried you wouldn't do what I asked, even after the threat to your companions. But, no matter...I eventually broke you and that is why you were easily bent to my will. Now, Meteor will crash to the planet creating a wound so large that it will be unable to heal its self! And then I will merge with the planet and travel the stars searching for my own Promised land! Just as mother did before me..."

I look up at him. I was with him. I would always be with him...for eternity. Nothing mattered except that he never let me go.

He stroked the top of my head gently and we were surrounded by bright light. I buried my face in his coat against the glare and only looked up when we were surrounded by darkness. I looked about us hearing strange, unearthly cries. "What is that?" I mutter.

"That, is the sound of the Planet crying...she is in pain. We are deep inside the core; she will be unable to expel us. Weapons have been released and they will be running rampant causing beautiful chaos! A part of me wishes I could be there to see it...!" he laughed and sat down dragging me with him.

"It sounds...sad..." I mutter.

Sephiroth takes my face and drags me close, kissing me deeply. A moan escapes me and is captured by his mouth. When he pulled away I sighed softly. His fingers run gently down my neck and begin to fiddle with the zipper on my top. I take a handful of his hair and begin running my fingers through it gently. I feel his hand move and he takes my wing in his hand stretching it out. "Hmmm..." He hummed curiously as he inspected it. "You really are a clone..." He muttered. "Although...it is a bit small...But then, you were small. You used to be short...well...shorter..."

I looked up at him and cocked my head to the side. "What...do you mean?"

He looked at me and smiled. "Of course...you don't remember do you?" He laughed.

I sat up on my knees between his legs and looked down at him. "Remember...what? What is there to remember except that I was created five years ago...?"

He shifted slightly and pulled me down to him so that my face was close to his. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore..." His hand trailed through my hair sending pleasant tingles down my spine. I wanted him...I needed him...

I pressed myself closer and tipped my head to the side slightly. I pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. I feel his hands slide underneath my top so that I can feel his bare skin on my back. Yes, yes, yes! This was why I was created! For him...For him alone.

He pulled away and looked at me. "Remove your clothing." He said.

I did as commanded, with great difficulty as I was hampered by the wing sticking from my back. Eventually I managed to get undressed and I knelt before him naked and feeling slightly vulnerable. His eyes devoured my body hungrily before he took me in his arms and pulled me into his lap so I sat astride him. He ran his tongue slowly down my neck and to my chest, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. "Cloud..." he whispered making me look back at him. He had pulled down his own trousers and he manoeuvred me over his erect penis. He took my shoulder and forced me down onto him. I gasped at the sudden pain and cried out. My fingers dug into his bare shoulders and I pressed my forehead to his chest gasping. I shivered slightly and felt him lift my head up to his. We kissed for a moment. "Move..." He whispered in my ear. I did as ordered. I began to move my hips, slowly at first...gritting my teeth against the pain. Then I began to quicken my pace as the pain faded. I could hear Sephiroth's breathing in my ear, his hands gripped my hips and began to move me faster. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and closed my eyes. My whole world was filled with the sensations; the feel of Sephiroth moving inside of me, his skin against mine, his tongue as he licked gently at my neck when I tipped my head back. His harsh, ragged breathing, his hand as it tightened around my erection moving in time with my hips. Faster...i needed to go faster. Suddenly he pulled away from me and forced me on to my back. He plunged into me again moving faster and faster. I arched my back and clenched my hands into fists. "Sephiroth..." I moaned. "Ah...Nnnn...yes...more...Please, harder..." I lifted my hips to meet his with each thrust. He leaned down and kissed me, his tongue finding mine. Again I arched into him as I came. I could feel my own semen cover my chest. Sephiroth groaned as my muscles tightened around him and soon had his own orgasm. I fell back panting heavily. I stared up into the darkness shaking slightly. Sephiroth kissed the side of my mouth before pulling out making me groan. I wanted more. I couldn't get enough...I needed him!

I heard his laughter and the rustle of clothing as he re-dressed himself. "No more...for now. That was a reward for bringing me the Materia...however; I must repay you for that time..." I looked up at him and saw him indicate a large scar on his abdomen. I frowned...how could such an awful mark besmirch his perfect skin? I sat up slowly and crawled toward him running my fingers across the faint mark before kissing it softly and running my tongue along it. I felt him grab my hair and force my head up. "You think that just because you cannot remember something that it never happened?" He muttered. I had no idea what he was talking about! I felt the confusion show its self on my face. "It is time I punished you for your insubordination..." He slapped me across the face and I fell sideways feeling stunned. What was this sudden anger after that precious moment? Why was he accusing me of causing that scar?

I looked up at him and wiped a tiny drop of blood from my lip where I had bitten my tongue. "Sephiroth...I...don't understand! Please...tell me what I've done wrong! I was made for you! I am yours!"

"Exactly, that is why I can do with you whatever I wish." He pushes me down on my front and I feel his boot on my back, he pinned me like a butterfly in a case. I felt him slowly extend my wing out and I turned my head enough to see the flash of his sword. I gasped but was unable to move. I felt pain tear across my shoulders and screamed desperately. My fingers dug into the rock beneath me and I closed my eyes tightly as tears slipped past my lids. Suddenly he released me and dragged me up to my knees. I looked up to see him holding my wing in his hand and his bloody sword in the other. I could feel the searing pain in my shoulder and the hot blood as it trickled over my skin. My eyes widened slightly. He had cut it off...he had just removed my wing...why? I didn't understand.

He tossed it aside and knelt before me inspecting my back where there was sure to be a tattered little stump. "I have grounded the poor angel." He whispered and took my jaw in his hand. "You will be unable to fly away now, little bird." His smile widened and he kissed me. I felt warmth spread through my body from the remnants of my wing, he was healing it! By the time he was finished there was nothing left but a vivid scar. His fingers traced it gently. "Ah, you look beautiful...covered in your own blood and other...bodily fluids..." he chuckled softly. "Now, you can stay with me for a while."

I tipped my head back and stared up at the sky as Sephiroth's tongue explored my body. I felt slightly disorientated after all that pain and now this sudden, unexpected pleasure. My skin flushed from hot to cold and I moaned quietly leaning back on one hand while the other entangled it's self into his hair. He ran his tongue slowly up the shaft of my rapidly hardening penis and I shivered pleasantly. He took me whole into his mouth making me gasp. His hands ran over my chest lightly sending ripples of pleasure through my body. My mind was full of random, disjointed thoughts. I tightened my grip on his hair and looked down at him; his eyes met mine and I saw his smile. I couldn't get enough. I was his entirely. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the physical sensations. "Ah..." I tightened my grip on his hair and automatically began moving my hips.

He stopped suddenly making me open my eyes and look down panting slightly. He smiled. "Is it good?" he whispered taking my erection in his hand and moving it slowly up and down.

"Nnnn...Yes, good..." I mutter. He laughed again and lapped slightly at the tip of my penis before once again taking me in his mouth. I groaned and began moving my hips urging him to go faster. My breathing quickened. "Sephi...Sephiroth...I'm...Ah...I'm..." I felt heat flood my body and came into his mouth. He looked up at me after swallowing it and wiped his mouth slowly with his hand. I fell back onto the ground gasping slightly and feeling tired. He leaned over me and kissed me...I could taste myself on his tongue. I sighed when he pulled away.

"Well, I suppose you are well rewarded for your help..." he muttered as he pulled me up. "Put your clothes back on."

I nod and silently replace my clothing before sitting still and looking at him. I could feel the blood that covered my body dry along with the semen, but I ignored it. There was nowhere to bathe anyway. I watched him lie back with his hands behind his head and after a while I began to fidget. I could hear the sounds of the planet, it was slowly getting louder. I turned to the edge of the cliff we were on and leaned over the edge. The glowing Lifestream captured my attention, it was so close...I watched, hypnotised by the constant flow of intertwining ribbons of green. Every now and again it would flow upward nearly to the edge of the cliff before falling away like the swell of the sea...My hand reached out and some smaller ribbons separated from the rest and surrounded my hand. I winced slightly as it tingled. It was...familiar...somehow. It was as if I knew this presence. It surrounded my hand before fading away. I sighed and returned my eyes to the main mass of pulsing energy. It was fascinating. I feel Sephiroth stood behind me and turn slightly to look up at him, I felt a small smile on my lips and his hand on my back. He pulled me to my feet by the scruff of my top and I saw his smile. I felt a jolt as he put his hand against my chest and pushed. I stumbled backward and felt my boot heel slip on the edge. My eyes open in horror. Sephiroth's smile never left his face as I struggled to regain my balance. He leaned forward so his lips were close to my ear: "You have completed your task, now...add your strength to the lifestream...Add your strength to enhance my own...Farewell, Cloud."

"N...No!" I scream as I finally lose my balance and slip right off the edge. I fell backward, the last thing I see is his smiling face before I am surrounded by green.

Floating.

Where am i? Is this...water? No...It's too light...I'm not wet.

_Geez...you're a bit of an idiot._

"_Who...Who are you?"_

_Haha! You should know me, Cloud...Oh, that's right...you don't remember do you? Even though I kept my promise...I never left you, we're friends right? And friends keep their promises. _

"_I...Should know you?"_

_Yeah...You should. But, hey, don't force yourself. It'll come back to you I'm sure. Now then...We really should think about getting you out of here...Haha! Fancy you falling prey to Sephiroth's sweet talk! Man, you really are stupid sometimes. Seriously though...we should get you back! They'll be waiting for you..._

"_Wait! I...don't understand...why did he push me? After...everything I did for him...why did he...?"_

_You were...manipulated by him because of what Hojo did to us five years ago. Cloud, you're not a failure...You were a more successful experiment than even I was. The cells they...they merged with you completely creating a copy of Sephiroth's powers but keeping most of your own traits. That's why you don't have his silver hair...Look, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you return to your friends. I'm gunna have to say goodbye again..._

"_Goodbye...again?" _

_Yeah...Cloud, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything... __You worked harder than anyone I've ever known, and you're smart too. Be confident, and do your best. Aim higher than me. The world isn't full of bad people like you think it is, and you'll have good things happen to you just by living your life._

"_What...? Who...are you?"_

_It really doesn't matter right now. In time, you'll get your head on straight and everything will make sense. Now, I've gotta go. I guess...i'll be seeing you, be good Cloud and...don't lose hope and remember...Embrace your dreams. _

"_Mmmm...Good night...Za..."_

**END NOTE: **Well, I hoped you enjoyed that! I know I did! I am putting the chapters out really quickly coz I'm bored...I'm in the middle of a ten week Uni project that I can probably finish in about a week...but my exhibitions at the end of it so I've gotta stretch it out a bit! I'm gunna paint flowers and insects...in metallic colours! Pretty! XD I hope you'll review! Thank you!


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N**: Ah, I love Zack! He's a great character so I couldn't let it end there! Well, I hope you're all enjoying this! (If you weren't I'd cry!) Anyway, read and review as always...And all my love to you guys for sticking with it! XD

Chapter 24

"_My friend, do you fly away now?  
To a world that abhors you and I?  
All that awaits you is a sombre morrow  
No matter where the winds may blow..."_

"_Oh! Look over there!"_

"_What? Where?"_

"_There you bloody idiot! Over by the edge of the pool!"_

"_Is that a...person?"_

"_What, are you blind? 'Course it's a person! It's wearin' clothes."_

"_Oh yeah...now we're closer...he's a kid. Did he...wash up here?"_

"_I hope not! If he did it means he might be dead..."_

"_...No. He's breathin'. Let's get him to the hospital..."_

"_Yeah..."_

_Hmmm? Where am i? Whose voices are these?_

"_Oy! Doc, we got someone here who needs your help!"_

"_Oh...My! Where did you find him?"_

"_We found him out by the Mako Lake! He looked as if he'd been washed up on shore..."_

"_You mean...he may have fallen into it? Poor boy, I doubt he'll ever really wake up again...Well, it's a miracle he's still alive!"_

"_Doc, can you look after him?"_

"_Yes, we'll put him in the spare room..."_

_I can't move. I can't speak...but my eyes are open. I can see. And...I can remember. He pushed me. He tried to kill me...I thought that...I hoped...that maybe I could be with him. But...he abandoned me._

"_Oh...He's crying?" _

"_Poor child. Must be having some bad dreams..."_

_Bad dreams? If only that was true...I could cope with dreams...But no, the reality is what's painful. The reality is that Sephiroth tried to kill me by pushing me into the lifestream...I shouldn't have survived. I wish I had...died. I don't want to exist anymore, not now that my sole reason for living has been taken from me. Kill me. Someone...please...I can't go on..._

"_His vital signs are fading! Doctor! The patients critical!"_

"_Damn it! He's not going to die now, not after he managed to survive the Mako Lake!"_

_No! Let me! Please...I want to die! I'm useless! I...have no purpose! Please..._

"_He's crying again...at least his eyes are open, even if he isn't responsive. That was a close call, we were lucky to get him back."_

"_I wander...Doctor, I wander who he is? He's really cute..."_

"_Don't say that about a patient! Now, go back to the desk and keep an eye out. Someone may be missing him."_

"_Yes, Doctor."_

_It's no use. I can't even die properly. I can't move, I can't communicate...what is the point of existing like this? He doesn't want me! He doesn't need me anymore! I am...useless. A failed experiment that had only a few uses...A whore and a slave. Please! I'm begging you...anyone! Let me die. Let it all end! Living without him is just...too hard. _

_**Oh, so you're giving up?**_

_Who...?_

_**You don't need to know just yet. You have people waiting for you...Well, I guess I'm no longer the person who can pull you up from this cliff.**_

_I could feel someone stood behind me, I was surrounded by white...His laughter is...so familiar..._

_**Yeah...being dead has its disadvantages. I guess you've gotta find the one person who can pull you back from the brink. I'm sorry, man...but you can't die yet. You have great things ahead of you, or so I'm told. You gotta keep walking! Stand up and put one foot in front of the other...Ah, well...guess it's impossible. It has to be someone else...just hold on, yeah? Until they come, hold on and keep breathing.**_

_This emptiness...can I live with this? Can I live knowing that no one wants me? That no one needs me? I'm so confused! I have...memories...of myself as a child...The fights I used to get into, my mother bandaging my cuts and bruises...the scent of her perfume...the well and Tifa...these are false? He told me they were...but...they feel right! They feel like they should have happened. They feel like...they really did happen. It's the events of five years ago that feel wrong...maybe it's all wrong. I'm a monster...a freak...a nothing. A...Failure. Yes, that's all true...I failed my friends, I failed the planet...Oh...yeah...the planet will be destroyed. So...I won't have to deal with this for much longer! It'll all end soon! Just wait and then I can finally rest. It hurts...my whole body aches...I feel sick but I can't move. _

_**Ya'know...I always thought you put yourself down too much. In fact, it pissed me off sometimes! Do you really want to give in to him? Do you really want to live out the rest of your life as a puppet? Cloud, fight him. Stand up and fight him! I know you can do it...I have faith in you.**_

_Faith? Why?_

_**Because...you're stronger than you think. **_

_I...don't understand. I don't know you...why are you talking as if you know me? _

_**I know you, you know me...But, this isn't the time for that.**_

_I can feel a hand on my head ruffling my hair. It feels...familiar. I know this feeling, this warmth. I like this feeling...the feeling of being loved and protected...safe in the knowledge that I'm not alone. Ah...but wait! I am alone...this is probably all my imagination...a dream concocted by the massive amount of Mako running through my body. I can feel it...It hurts...My head is throbbing but I can't do anything. This feeling is...recognizable...like I have been in this condition before. _

_**Bear with it for a while longer. Just a little longer, Cloud. They're on their way. Just hold on...and trust in yourself, trust in them and trust in me. **_

_But it's so painful! My body is wracked with pain making me want to scream but I can't...i can only make noises as I sit here in this wheelchair. The doctors voice keeps me distracted a little, he is worried about me...Will I recover? Who knows...I can't find the energy to care. So, I'll retreat now. I'll just disappear deep inside myself so that maybe I can escape this pain..._

It's dark in here. Surrounded by the darkness curled up in a ball on my side, I am safe here. No pain. No suffering...but I'm alone. I'm too hot but it doesn't matter. Painful. Can't think...

My hands lie limply before my face; they are the only things I can see. I have no idea how long I have been here. I close my eyes and think of Aeris...her laughter echoes through my mind as if she's stood beside me. The thought is comforting. I imagine her cool hand on my forehead and smile slightly. Idiot, she's dead. Why would she come back just to make you feel better? Sighing I open my eyes again and stare at my slightly curled fingers. I was abandoned. I am nothing more than a puppet without strings...I roll over onto my back and stare up into the darkness. I wasn't even sure of who I was anymore. I was sinking deeper into oblivion. My memories blurring into meaningless colours. I knew I was losing myself but the feeling was almost liberating.

An awful noise...i'm surrounded by green light again! What is happening? I put my hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. The noise...it sounds like the planet is screaming! Horrible...awful! Make it stop! I can't take it anymore...

_CLOUD! Help me! Where are you? Please...I don't know where I am! Help me! Come back Cloud! Please...remember! Remember and come rescue me! I can't find my way back! Help me! Come back!_

I knew that voice. My hands come away from my ears and I open my eyes. Someone was calling...I slowly raise myself into a sitting position. My eyes scan the darkness. Who was calling for help? They sounded so scared! I had to help them...I stood and saw a light. I reached out for it and it expanded until it covered everything. I see a figure on the floor.

_Cloud? That was...my name? Yes...i remember...I...never did make it into SOLDIER...I was nothing more than a grunt. I...had a friend..._

I shake my head and reach down to the girl on her knees, she looks up at me. Deep brown eyes filled with sudden relief and joy.

_...his name was Zack. He helped me...a lot. I was a quiet boy, bullied quite badly by the others and lacking any self confidence. I wasn't purely an experiment by Hojo...I had been human once. I had been a normal child. My mother had raised me in Nibelheim and I had known Tifa...we had made a promise to each other. I had decided to try and join SOLDIER because I wanted to be stronger, I wanted to..._

"...I wanted to protect you." I watch her face light up.

"I...always knew! I knew you would come back to me!"

"I made a promise." I smile at her. "Whenever you're in a pinch, I will come save you. Isn't that it?"

She laughed with tears in her eyes and took my hand so I dragged her to her feet. "You came for me..."

"That's twice now."

"Twice?"

I nodded. "Yeah, the first time was Nebeilheim...five years ago. I was...one of the infantry men. I never did make it into SOLDIER...I failed, so I was afraid to reveal myself to you. I kept my helmet on...I wasn't created entirely by Hojo...I was born a human being."

"You..." She frowned at me thoughtfully then covered up half my face with her hand, I smiled. "You were there! I remember...vaguely...you held me after Sephiroth had...after he had hurt me!"

Suddenly she laughed and threw her arms around me. "Tifa...?"

"You came back to me...thank you, Cloud."

"I heard you calling me...in the dark. I heard you and...it all came back to me. I am Cloud Strife...ex-ShinRa infantry and failed Sephiroth clone..." I felt her arms tighten on my waist and she looked up at me.

"So...it was true? About the experiments?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry...I never meant to...do that." I could still see the smile on Sephiroth's face as he had pushed me. I look away from Tifa a moment. "I'm...sorry...Please, forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive...you weren't in control. Sephiroth made you do all those awful things!"

"But...I let him do it. I let him control me..." I sighed heavily.

Tifa pulled away from me and looked around. "Where are we?"

I looked up and searched the area. We were stood in what appeared to be the old ShinRa building in Nebeilheim. "I think...we're inside the lifestream..." I mutter. "It seems to be reflecting my memories."

"Is this...the ShinRa mansion?"

I nod and turn around in a circle. The tubes were there, stood in the corner, big enough to hold two fully grown men. A table lay in the centre with straps attached to its surface. Behind that was a small hallway that led into the library. I walked slowly toward the book filled room, Tifa followed quietly. When I entered I saw Sephiroth there holding a book in his hand, I turn as I hear a noise behind me. The sound of bare feet on wooden flooring. I see my sixteen year old self walking toward the desk. My eyes are bright green with Sephiroth's cat slit pupils...and they are completely blank. I know what's coming. My sixteen year old counterpart walks straight through us and toward Sephiroth who looks up and drops the book he's holding, he reaches out for me. I feel my own hand rise in response before shaking my head and letting it drop back to my side. Tifa watches in horrified fascination as Sephiroth begins speaking and then pushes me against the table. I turn to her and pull her head to my chest. She mustn't see. She can't know what he did to me. She would be disgusted.

"C...Cloud...?" She can hear the moans...the screams of pleasure. I squeeze my eyes shut and cover her ears. She must be able to feel me shaking.

"Don't look. Don't listen." I mutter. "You don't need to know...you don't need to see...these are my memories...and they are going to stay locked away. No one can know."

She struggles slightly but I tighten my grip on her. I can feel the remembered sensations of Sephiroth...i can feel his touch like fire on my skin. I can feel his lips on mine. I shiver slightly and close my eyes. I was still craving him, but I knew that this time I wouldn't give in to my desires. He would never control me again. Finally the world melted around us and we found ourselves inside my old barracks. I release Tifa and step away refusing to make eye contact with her. I saw myself sat at my desk writing a letter and I smiled, I had tried to write a letter to Tifa...but I had never sent it. Then the door burst open.

Tifa stared at the man stood in the doorway holding a box of food. I smiled at her then turned my eyes to my old friend. "Zack..." I whispered as he walked through me. I turned and reached out my hand to his back before dropping it down to my side. "I remember...I remember you...Zack..." Tifa nodded her head.

"Yes...this was the man who came with Sephiroth. This is the man who was in the photograph..."

"He was...my best friend. The only one I had at ShinRa..." I smiled sadly as the room blurred again. This time we stood on a cliff overlooking the wasteland that surrounded Midgar. I see myself crawling toward my dying friend. Tifa gasps and steps away slightly as if all the blood could touch her. This was a memory...the colour's were more vibrant than the others. This seemed almost too real...as if I was reliving it. I heard Zack's words...the last one's he would ever speak to me alive...

_You'll be... my living legacy._

_My honour...my dreams...they're yours now..._

I lift a hand to my face and turn away wincing at my own scream. So...that was what he had meant when he had said he was sorry. I had taken his parting words and in my confused brain concocted my own meaning to them. "I tried to live out both our lives..." I mutter. "I tried to become you..."

Tifa's hand gripped my arm and I turned to her. She had tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry...I had no idea..."

I shake my head and look up at the sky. It seemed to be snowing...no...they were white feathers. I reach out to them and feel them brush my face. "Zack..." I mutter. I hear his soft laughter and close my eyes imagining his hand ruffling my hair.

_**Well done, you remembered. I knew you could do it! Now, you know what you have to do now...go defeat him, Cloud! Go kick Sephiroth's ass and make him never forget who the real boss is!**_

I laugh; it starts off quietly before getting louder until I'm bent double. He was always overly dramatic...how could I have forgotten him? Tifa looks at me strangely. After a while I calm down. "Thank you, Zack..." I mutter at the sky.

_**Hey...would you say that I became a... hero?**_

"Yes, you did. You saved me...Countless times. You are my hero..."

_**Woah! Back up there...don't get all mushy on me! **_

"Yeah, got it."

_**Now, I think it's time you guy's got going! I'll see ya around.**_

I nod and grab Tifa's arm. The world swirled mixing the colours like paint in water. Then I opened my eyes.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: **Sorry...It's such a short chapter but I'm exhausted! My neighbours think it's a good idea to have blazing rows at god knows what time in the morning...Ugh...i have no energy anymore...I will update as soon as I'm refreshed! I promise! Please forgive me...I'm gunna go crash now...

Chapter 25

I find myself staring up into a blue sky. I am lying on a pile of rubble, wood and other sharp objects dig into my back making me groan. Slowly I sit up and put a hand to my head. Twice now, twice I had been dropped into the lifestream and in such a short space of time. I look to my left and see Tifa lying still, I crawl over to her, I can't stand yet, I still don't have the strength. I put a hand on her shoulder and shake her gently. Her eyes flicker open and she rolls over and looks up at me. Her face breaks out into a smile and she sits up pulling me into an embrace. After a moment I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me. The warmth, the feeling of her heart beat against mine...all real. Not my imagination. I smile into her hair and close my eyes. I feel her pull away gently and reach up to my face with her hand; her fingers brush my cheek gently.

"Thank you..." She murmured. "Thank you for coming back to me."

I feel a slight throbbing through my body, the after affects of the massive dose of Mako. "Nnn..." I fall back from Tifa a moment and gasp slightly.

"Cloud?" She moves to my side and kneels beside me.

"...'M fine..." I mutter and look up at the sky with a wince. "Just...hurts...too much...Mako..."

"Well...why aren't I in pain?"

I looked at her through a haze of pain. "I...don't know...I'm sorry..." I groan again as the pain intensifies. My body was on fire. My head hurt. I had definitely overdosed... "I shouldn't...be alive...my body...is on fire!" I double over and make a strangled noise. I fall back onto the boards gasping helplessly.

"Cloud? Cloud...please...be strong!"

I look at her and see her face crumpled with worry. "'m fine...Don't worry, Tifa...It'll...get better soon. I've been...like this before...AH!" I tip my head back while my hands grasp my stomach.

I hear voices as the others arrive beside the glowing pool. They crowd around talking; their voices all mingle into one. I lay still staring up at the sky, I can see the huge red ball...meteor. It acts like another sun. I pant slightly and feel consciousness flee.

I wake up lying in a bed. I can feel the roar of engines beneath me and I sit up slowly, I look to my side and see Tifa lying in the other bed, she must have passed out again not long after I had. I stretch and stand up. My limbs felt like lead but I knew that would fade eventually.

Once Tifa was awake I stood in the conference room of the great big airship, Shera. I had my back to the others and I stared at the map blindly. I was afraid. I didn't want to turn around and see their expressions of distrust. Finally I take a deep breath and turn; everyone is watching me in silence. Their eyes and faces full of sympathy, I was taken aback by it. Why would they have sympathy for the person who had brought the destruction of the planet one step closer? After a moment of silence I lower my head so my hair covers my eyes. "Everyone...I'm...sorry! I'm sorry...I brought this on...It's all my fault."

"Get a grip!" Barrett said loudly. "We know it wasn't your fault entirely...stop bein' so depressed! You were being controlled!"

I look up at him and blink. "Huh?"

"Don't "Huh" Me! We all saw what happened! No one's gunna blame ya."

"He's right, Cloud. We can't blame you entirely...Please, stop trying to shoulder the blame onto yourself." Tifa said with a smile.

I rubbed the back of my head and sighed. "Sorry..." I mutter. Someone slaps me across the back of my head and I look up to see Barrett staring at me furiously. "What the hell?" I shout.

"That's for bein' pathetic. You want another one then go right ahead with your apologies! We don't have time to be wastin'! That huge rock's gunna hit us soon and we ain't got no idea how to stop it! So, get your spiky blond ass in gear and do what you're 'sposed to! Get us out of this situation and then kill that silver haired bastard!"

I felt a smile creep onto my face and start to giggle, I cover my mouth with my hand and burst into hysterics. It felt good to laugh, even though the back of my head ached slightly. Barrett had certainly kept his promise of smacking me upside the head. I hear Tifa's giggles joining mine and soon everyone is laughing.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Ah! Nearing the completion of the game! So sad...I don't wanna kill Sephiroth! Wahhhh! Anyways...hope you enjoy this chapter! (I skipped the gory details of the Tifa/Cloud sex thing because I can't write hetro sex for some reason...oh well.) I wrote this on the assumption they actually do do the dirty...but really does anyone know for sure? Enjoy, Review and much love.

Chapter 26

_To be able to gain happiness why must one suffer?_

Time passed, we began to run out of options. There was only one hope left; Holy. The white materia. The thing Aeris had prayed for, the one that could stop meteor. Unfortunately we soon learned that it had fallen from her when she was killed. It was now somewhere deep in the lifestream where no one could touch it. That gave us only one choice: destroy Sephiroth and hope that holy would activate its self. ShinRa tried to destroy Sephiroth themselves by obtaining huge materia and loading it into the gun that had been attached to Junon harbour; they failed, however, they did manage to break down the barrier of the cave. We eventually returned to the North Cave, the last chance to defeat Sephiroth was upon us. Get him before he could complete his plan. Get him while he was still sleeping...

We all stood before the huge window on the air ship. After the shock of seeing the ShinRa tower blown to pieces everyone is silent a moment.

"ShinRa's...Finished." Cait Sith said.

I walk slowly to the front and stare out at the landscape far below as it speeds under us. "Meteor's gunna fall in about..." I turn around to look at Nanaki who shakes his head.

"In about seven days. That's what grandfather said."

"Nanaki..." I begin as I look at him. "You want to see everyone in Cosmo canyon again?"

He turned his back on me and lowered his large head. "...Yes."

I nod and turn to Barrett, "You want to see Marlene, right?"

"Don't ask me that." Barrett say's as he turns around.

"We'll beat Sephiroth..." I say with conviction. "Then, if we don't release the power of Holy in seven days...there won't be a planet to protect." I sigh. "If we don't beat Sephiroth...It's as good as death for us. We'll just go a few day's sooner than the rest who'll die from Meteor."

Barrett stares at me. "Don't be thinkin' you're gunna lose before you even fight!"

"No!" I reply quickly with a small smile. "What I meant was..." I walk to the front again and lean against a barrier that stood before the glass window. I fold my arms across my chest and eye everyone. "What are we all fighting for? I want us all to understand that. Save the planet for the future of the planet...sure, that's all fine. But...is that really how it is?" I turn my head away slightly looking down again. "For me, this is a personal feud. I want to beat Sephiroth and settle my past...saving the planet just happens to be a part of that. I've been thinking...I think we are all fighting for ourselves. For ourselves and that someone...something that is important to us. That's what we're fighting for. That's why we keep up this battle for the planet."

"You're right..." Barrett said with a nod. "It sounds cool sayin' it's to save the planet. But I was the one who blew up that Mako reactor...lookin' back now I can see that that wasn't the way to do things. I made a lot of friends and innocent bystanders suffer. At first it was revenge against ShinRa for attackin' my hometown...but now...Yeah, I'm fightin' for Marlene, for Marlene and Marlene's future. Yeah I guess I want to save the planet for Marlene's sake."

I nod my head. "Go see her. Make sure you're right and come back." I turn to the others. "All of you, get off of the ship and go find out your reasons for yourselves. I want you to make sure and I want you to come back."

Cid grinned. "Maybe aint none of us'll come back? Meteor's gunna kill us all anyway, let's just forget any useless struggling."

"I know why I'm fighting." I repeat. "I'm fighting to save the planet and that's it. But besides that there's something personal too...a very personal memory that I have. What about you all? I want you all to find that something within yourselves. If you don't find it then that's ok too, you can't fight without a reason, right? So, I won't hold it against you if you don't come back."

Everyone looks away for a moment before agreeing. I had given them something to think about. Everyone left. I was alone with Tifa. "What are you going to do Tifa?"

She turned to me with a small, sad smile. "Did you forget? I'm...all alone. I don't have anywhere to go."

We decided to leave the ship, it was hot and stuffy. Once on the ground again I looked up at the sky and saw how dark it was. Tifa turns her back.

"Everyone's gone." She muttered.

"Yeah, we don't have anywhere or anyone to return home to." I reply sitting down heavily on a nearby rock.

"Your right...but I'm sure someday...they'll come back, don't you think?"

I put my hand in my hair, "Hmmm...I wander...? Everyone has an irreplaceable something they're holding on to. But this time...our opponent..." I falter and shake my head leaning forward and putting my elbows on my knees so my hands dangle limply.

"Hmmm, but that's alright...even if no one comes back. As long as I'm with you...as long as you're by my side...I won't give up even if I'm afraid."

I lift my head slowly, I can only see her profile against the setting sun but I can see the small smile on her lips. Realisation had begun to seep into my brain. "...Tifa..."

She sighed and put her hands behind her back staring up at the sunset. "No matter how close we are...we were far apart...before this. But when we were in the lifestream surrounded by all those screams of anguish, I heard your voice. You probably don't remember this but deep in my heart I thought I heard you call my name."

I looked away slightly. "I see...I think...I think I heard you too. You...called to me..."

"Cloud...do you think the stars can hear us? Do you think they can see how hard we're fighting for them?"

I look up at the sky as the first stars began to appear over the horizon. "I dunno...Whether they are or not...we still have to do what we can and believe in ourselves. I'll find the answer someday...as long as I keep trying."

"Yeah...that's right." Tifa said with soft laughter.

There was an awkward silence for a long time. I fidgeted with my gloves for a moment before looking over at her. "We've got a big battle tomorrow...we had better get some sleep."

"Umm...Yes, I guess your right..." Tifa sighed.

Later we lay down beside each other in a patch of grass...

Tifa lay beside me and crept closer so that she lay on my arm. I wrapped it around her waist and pulled her close, I could feel her breathing softly against my chest. I reached down and brushed hair from her face gently. Her eyes met mine for long moment before I leaned down and kissed her. Earlier I had come to a sudden realisation, and now as I kissed Tifa, it confirmed my suspicions. She was in love with me. We had been childhood friends and we had spent so much time together since she had found me at the train station, we had fought side by side, we had been together and I hadn't even noticed. I made a decision, I could give her what she wanted. I was unsure of my own feelings...Sephiroth still held sway over my emotions, even as I began slipping Tifa's top over her head, my thoughts were with him. But, maybe she could help me forget...maybe she could help heal the internal wounds that had been left by Sephiroth...

When I awoke it was nearly dawn, I could feel Tifa's head on my shoulder and I smiled. It was a shame to have to wake her. "...It's almost dawn..." I mutter into her ear.

"H...Huh?" She said sleepily.

"Morning Tifa...It's almost dawn."

She yawned and snuggled closer to me. "Good morning, Cloud...mmm...just a little longer...This day will never come again so just let me have this moment..."

I look at her and lie back again closing my eyes. Eventually I fell back to sleep. I woke again when the sun had fully risen; Tifa was sat beside me looking up at the air ship. The atmosphere was slightly awkward, we had shared our feelings with each other in the night and now I was worried that she would regret it. I stand and brush soil from my clothes. "We'd better go..." I mutter without meeting her eyes.

Tifa turned suddenly, "But...I still..."

"It's alright Tifa, you said so yourself last night...At least we don't have to go on alone."

"Yes, that's right..."

I smile. "Let's go."

We returned to the airship finding it deserted. We made our way to the control room. We found, to our great surprise, that everyone had returned. I was filled with joy, I had been so convinced no one would come back. Now I had another reason to fight, I would fight to protect this small group of people. I would fight for those I cherished. Nothing could take that away from me. Tifa, Barrett, Cid, Nanaki, Yuffie, Vincent and even Cait Sith, all of them my treasured friends.

I stood before them with a smile, "Thanks...everyone." I muttered.

Barrett turned to me. "We didn't come back for your spiky ass! We came back for Marlene...Guess it's jes' my feelings...or somethin'."

I giggle. This was a nice feeling...friends are good. I am...happy. Maybe everything was going to be ok, maybe, together, we could do this. Together we could save the planet and stop Sephiroth.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** And so, welcome to the end! Thanks so much for sticking with this! I really hoped you all enjoyed reading it coz I enjoyed writing it! (If you don't already know I have written a sequel called Ningyo! Check it out!)

Chapter 27

"_And then it came; the chosen day. In the end, the planet itself had to make the battle stop for good. The planet used the lifestream as a weapon and when it burst out of the earth, all the fighting, all the greed and sadness, everything was washed away. Sadness was the price to see it end."_

We made it into the northern Cave battling monsters all the way. Finally though we made it to the centre. We stood together, perhaps for the last time. I turned and looked around at everyone. Their eyes were hard, only one purpose in their minds. A greenish glow emanated from the drop behind me. The very lifestream it's self was only feet away. It was time to go.

"Alright everyone lets mosey." I said.

Every stared at me for a moment. Cid shook his head with a grin. "Damn! Again! Stop sayin' it like a wimp! Can't you say "Move Out" or somethin'?"

I chuckled slightly, "Move out!"

We all moved off from there, we found some strange floating rocks that took us down. They went on for a while. We reached a strange platform covered in square pieces of rock. The green glow was all around us now, the place was strange, ethereal. I looked around with a frown. "Where are we?"

Suddenly I heard that awful whining noise. I stared as a huge pink ball appeared over the edge of the platform. "Jenova...?" I said as it flew toward us.

We fought it and killed it.

The whole platform began to shake, the pillars of rock broke apart and shot upward. We fell. The green light rushed around us making my stomach churn slightly. We were engulfed in a bright white light that nearly blinded me, even covering my eyes didn't help.

I found myself alone. Everything was dark...except...

_Lig...ht?_

I was floating, drifting on unseen currents. The light pulsed, white in the centre with a strange aura of blue around its edge.

_A...Light...Is this...Is this light Holy?_

I tried to move toward it, but it was like swimming through syrup.

I opened my eyes to hear Barrett's voice drift through the darkness. I stand slowly and find myself stood on a red, rocklike formation. In the centre of which was a glowing light encased in the same red rock.

Then...he appeared. We all stared at the egg like structure as he stepped out of it. "Sephiroth!" I cried when I saw him. I felt a flood of confusing emotion...he was here in front of me...i didn't know what to think.

We were subjected to intense waves of power. Sephiroth said nothing as he stood in the centre of the glowing egg, his eyes never left me. Agony tore through my body, but this time I wasn't the only one feeling it. I felt as if I was going to be torn to shreds. Then I remembered. I had seen Holy. I had seen it glowing in the dark. I doubled over gasping and clutching my stomach. "Ugh...It's...there..." I tried to raise my voice so everyone could hear me. "Holy...Holy is...there...Holy is...shining...Aeris's prayer is shining..."

"Holy...Aeris..." Tifa muttered from my side. She, too, had been driven to her knees.

"It's not...over yet...This isn't the end!" I made sure my voice rose above the noise of the planet, the noise of everyone's pain. I had to make sure they all held firm. We were repelled once again as we tried to attack.

"Not only Aeris...Holy is the prayer of AVALANCHE...of Marlene and Dyne...everyone on the planet!" Barrett shouted.

"Maybe we were a little late in noticing the trouble we were getting into...but there's still time. We should be able to get out of it! Even if we can't get EVERYTHING back to normal." Cait Sith said. "We should be able to protect what's most important!"

I smiled. My hand touched the hilt of the Buster sword lightly and my eyes met Sephiroth's. "Aeris's memories...our memories...We came to tell you our memories...Come on planet, show us your answer! And Sephiroth...to the settling of everything!"

What we fought wasn't Sephiroth...It couldn't have been! They were...monsters! Mutations. We managed to kill two...before we were returned to the ledge we had started from. We all decided that there was nothing more we could do...we had only one choice. We had to leave the rest up to the planet. As everyone began to walk away I froze. I saw Tifa stop and stare at me. "I...feel it..." I muttered lifting a hand to my head. He was calling to me again. I could feel him.

"What...?" Tifa asked warily.

I shivered visibly and wrapped my arms around myself. "He's...still here..." I felt pain tear through my head and fall to my knees. It hurt. "Still..."

Tifa called me. I could barely hear her. That noise! I can't take much more of this! Make it stop! He was laughing...laughing as if he had won. I felt myself torn from the platform and pulled back into the lifestream. I was spinning...spinning through weird tunnels, occasionally I would see the lifestream with its green strands of living energy. The tunnels were sickening. The spinning colours made my head whirl. I closed my eyes tightly to shut out the awful rollercoaster trip. Then something made me open them...he was stood on a rock surrounded by darkness. His chest was bare and he held his sword in his hand. I fell and landed at his feet. Not very elegant...or very hero like...I looked up at him and saw his smile.

"So...we meet again." Sephiroth said. "And this time, I am whole. This time, there is no escape. I do wander how you managed to survive the lifestream...Although I doubt you came out of it unscathed." He crouched before me and took my face in his hand, his fingers were cold. "Hmmm...You have your memories back. It seems my plan to make you think you were created five years ago didn't quite go as planned. No matter...i must now destroy you. Shame really..." He slid his hand down my neck and I felt that all too familiar craving. "...You were such an obedient doll."

"Sephiroth..." I muttered pushing his hand away angrily. No, I wouldn't succumb to his will...ever again! "I will stop you!"

Sephiroth laughed, his hand returned to my neck and squeezed cutting off my air supply. I winced as he lifted me off my feet and held me in the air. "I would like to see how strong you've become. Show me this strength...show me everything so I can make your destruction all the more painful!" He threw me to the floor where I lay gasping and retching. My fingers closed over my sword again.

I turned and looked at him. I let all my anger and hatred smother all my other feelings. "I will be the one to do the destroying." I hissed.

"Hmmm, you have such fire in your eyes. I like it...then come. Show me what you have gained!" he lifted his sword.

I tightened my grip on my own and sent a brief prayer, to whatever gods or goddesses there were before launching myself at him with a cry. I leaped into the air and raised the buster sword above my head, I brought it down with a crash on his blade. He smiled up at me and threw me from him with a flick of his wrist.

"I do not call this strength, Cloud. I'm sure you can do better than this! Where is the boy who threw me into the reactor? Where is the boy who managed to kill a man while he was so near death himself? Where is the boy who spent his sixteenth year wanting me? Cloud, I know you have more strength than that...come!"

I knelt on one knee before him. Suddenly my head was filled with doubt. Could I do this? Could I kill a man I had become so close to? I swallowed nervously.

_Come on, man! You can do this! Have faith in yourself and you can do anything! On your feet!_

I saw a hand reach toward, a leather glove covering it. I smiled and took it. I was pulled onto my feet and stood staring at Sephiroth. "I can do this! I am stronger!" I muttered. "I will defeat you!" I felt a rush of energy fill my limbs, I found myself surrounded by a multicoloured aura. My sword was ignited by coloured flames. I felt power suffuse my very soul. Sephiroth smiled and took a ready stance...but I knew there was no defence for this. This attack would kill him. I took a slow, deep breath. My body tensed. It was now or never. I flew forward suddenly, I had a split second to see Sephiroth's eyes widen slightly before my sword smashed into his. There was a crack and the buster sword broke his in two smashing into his shoulder. I backed of slashing again and again until he was having difficulty standing. Then I jumped into the air and swung it down slicing through his body. I hit the ground and looked up before backing away panting slightly.

He looked down at me and I saw his smile. His huge black wing burst from his back as a tiny trickle of blood ran from the corner of his mouth. I could see his fingers begging to go green and turn into pure energy. He lifted his arm toward me. "Cloud..." his voice seemed to come from all around me as his body disintegrated slowly. He beckoned me and I took a step closer, he grabbed me tightly and pulled me roughly to his lips. I felt his tongue invade my mouth and the buster sword clattered to the floor. My hands grabbed his hair tightly but I could feel it slipping through my fingers. When I opened my eyes I was surrounded by ribbons of energy which surrounded me, it felt like a gentle warm breeze. His laughter echoed through my head and I looked up as it swirled and twisted into the vague shape of a man.

_I will bind you to me forever, Cloud. We will meet again...I will make sure that we do. I will give you a gift..._

I heard his voice in my head. His words confusing me slightly. Then he was gone, in an explosion of white and green.

A white light falls on me and I look up. A hand reaches for me, I reach back. Suddenly I feel rock shaking beneath me, my foot slips and I look down into a bright pool of greenish blue. I move onto the stable bit and look up to see a hand reaching for me. Tifa. The whole cave is collapsing! I shift my weight on the thin piece of rock feeling suddenly afraid, I didn't really fancy being dumped back in the lifestream...I don't think even my body could handle going in three times.

Suddenly Tifa falls. I run and jump, catching her in my arms and grabbing the cliff edge. I can't pull up both our weights. I try...but my arm begins to tremble.

"I think I'm begging to understand..." I mutter to Tifa as I grip her tightly around the waist.

"What?" She replied.

"An answer from the planet...the promised land...I think I can meet her there." I whisper. I try and heave our bodies up onto the stable bit of rock. I don't look into Tifa's eyes.

She snuggles her head into me. "Yeah, let's go meet her there."

I throw Tifa up onto the platform of rock. The pool below me glows brightly. I follow her onto it and sit still for a moment. "Hey, where is everyone?" I ask.

"Heeeeey!"

I look up and see the others sitting on a ledge just above us. Tifa smiled and waved, "I'm glad you're all safe!"

Suddenly the roof begins to tremble. Everyone looks up, I stand quickly. The Shera comes crashing down toward us followed by rocks and huge amounts of dust. We manage to climb on bored quickly, just as the lifestream rises up in a great blue fountain. We are caught in it. The ship is thrown around. Cid pulled an emergency lever and suddenly the ship changes...wings sprout from its sides and we fly up, free of the dangerous wave of energy.

Holy didn't work. It was too little, too late. Meteor began descending toward Midgar, crushing areas of buildings. All we could do was watch from the ship. Helplessly.

I stood at the front of the ship staring out the glass windows, my hands gripped the railing tightly. Suddenly Tifa spotted something. We all turn and see green energy bursting from the surface of the earth and twisting toward Meteor.

In the end, the planet had to save its self. We had done all we could by defeating Sephiroth. We went our separate ways, but with a promise to see each other again.

I moved in with Tifa, we started our very own delivery service and she re-opened Seventh Heaven in another district. I sometimes find myself wondering what had become of Sephiroth...had he gone into the lifestream? I don't know...but for now, I am happy. I will try and begin a new life, one I can live for myself...one where I will not become a failure. Although...there is something...in the back of my mind that makes me think of him. Sometimes, when I'm alone I hear his voice, faintly...as if he is calling to me from a great distance.

Will I ever truly be free of him?

_Even if the morrow is barren of promises  
Nothing shall forestall my return_

_-The End-_


End file.
